Funnier History (Map Game)

What if history was funny?

What if all major events since the year 1800 turned out to be quite entertaining?

Well here we find out.

Rules

 * 1) I'm writing a page based on this so if you help a bit there that would be very much appreciated
 * 2) Whatever you post must be both funny and realistic if it's not it's getting deleted (sorry)
 * 3) It goes from the 1st of January 1800 and continues right up until whatever the hell date your reading this.
 * 4) Everything must have a precise date
 * 5) Don't colonize space
 * 6) Try and write some sort of live feed if it gets to the present day

1800
February - A strange cold resistant strain of marijuana gets into Canada and spreads like a weed (pardon the pun), the Canadian population quickly capitalizes on their new found "weed", they quickly pass into law the "Cannabis Act 1800" which bans all tax on marijuana in the country.



May - Napoleons soldiers decide it would be quite entertaining to kick Napoleon off his horse while crossing the Alps. Napoleon is dead.

April/October - Alexander Hamilton is elected president through Benjamin Franklin putting his name on the ballot as a joke.

November - People though it would be funny to be anarchist and burn down all of London.

1801
January - Luxembourg sends soldiers to conquer all of Belgium, the Netherlands, France, and Prussia, as well as their overseas Empires. Luxembourg is now the most powerful nation on earth.

February - The exiled king of Prussia pimp-slaps the entire population of Luxembourg. They hand back his territory.

Stalin comes back in time with half of the NKVD and declares control of the USA.

March- Stalin sells the Luxembourgish army PPSH-41s.

November- An anarchist revolution takes over Spain.

December- Stalin decides to get a more american name, he is now Bobby Hamilton.

1802
January- Former president Alexander Hamilton declares Stalin a "poser", who is so ashamed by this he goes back to Soviet Russia along with the NKVD member's.

February- An interstellar trading consortium (the Johnson&Johnson Textiles Marketing Division) consisting of the Grays, Wookies, and the colors Indigo, Magenta, and Strawberry Blond stage a landing on Svalbard in order to capture samples of polar ice for use in a super-thin condom.

July- The Great Bovine Revolution of '02 begins in England and Vermont.

December- China is taken over by a man afflicted with dwarfism who is only 2 feet tall.

December-Jesus Christ appears in Luxembourg.

1803
January-The CEO of Johnson&Johnson, the Color Magenta is overthrown by Jesus Christ.

Some Random Thursday-Bavaria is invaded by Chuck Norris.

March-Bavaria is renamed Norristan with its Supreme Emperor Chuck Norris.

The Bovine Revolution ends with a new Country ,Bovistan, gaining Scotland, the Isle of Man, Vermont, Massachussetts, New Hamsphire, and Wales.

April-The Chinese make metal armored ships then invade Korea, Japan, and the Ngyuan dynasty and completly annexes them, all in 1 day.

August-Jesus Christ is proven to be an imposter he is then roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris to Mars.

The Color Magenta is found murdered in Dundee, Scotland.

Barry Finklestein, a gray alien is the new CEO of Johnson&Johnson.

October-A mutant crab pirate dubbed Captain Crabcakes begins pirate raids around China.

December-The Luxembourgi Civil War starts.

1804
March-The Luxembourgi Civil War ends with East and West Luxembourg formed. Some German States are liberated.

The Alemmanic Empire is formed from Prussia and other liberated german states.

June-The Associated Neighborhoods of New York or A.N.o.N.Y. for short is proclaimed in New York City.

July-The United States develops a new musket that shoots musketballs with mad cow disease in them, they use these guns to take back Massachusetts.

October -Russia colonizes Alaska because, in the imortal words of Alexander II (how is in power through some means), "Because, we can....and now we did". All of Russia throw a year long party of maryment and joyfulness. They also somk some of the Canadian "weed" to see what all the hub-bub is about.......needless to say, canibise is now legal.

1805
Eddie the Pig with his universal control remote fast-forwards through 1805 so nothing happens.

1806
January-Mass suicide occurs because of the fast-forwarding.

Another Stalin from the future comes to prevent the origional from killing himself.

Eddie the pig is found, tried, and hung.

1807
After the slave trade act is introduced in the UK banning the slave trade from africa, the population of the UK decide that intead of using black africans they'll use short people intead. People under five foot in hieght are immeaditley rounded up.

1808
Ludwig van Beethoven dies halfway through his fifth symphony after the piano collapses on top of him.

1809
The state of Rhode Island seades from the union saying is was sick of the whiney ass President Thomas Jefferson.

1810
Napoleon in a fit of power maddness declares himself 'king of the world' King George III orders a large naked bottom painted on the white cliffs of Dover in reply.

1811
Aliens land at Kew Gardens in London, King George III shoots them all thinking they are geese.

1812
Instead of declaring war on the British the US government accidentally declares war on King George III personnaly. King George III responds by sending a letter to congress telling them he didn't know they liked him so much and that they may kiss his amble royal backside.

1813
Jane Austin releses her book Pride and extreame predjudice about fighting at the royal court.

1814
The Pope decides that the Gregorian calender should be returned to the Julian calender, meaning that there are 12 15th's of Septmeber.

1815
The pope decides that the Julian calender is a stupid idea and returns to the Gregorian calender and the 10th to 22nd of July no longer exist this year.

5181
Somebody from a parallel dimension thought it would be funny to reverse everything. CD notgnihsaW becomes the capital of the aciremA fo setatS detinU.

1816
Order to the multiverse is restored. Washington DC is restored as the capital of the United States of America

The United Republic of Canuckistan is formed.

1817
England goes into civil war

Ireland gets its independence.

With Ireland's new found independence, the Irish technocracy introduces prohibition to stop civil unrest and established government police division to burn down Hops. Public outcry raged in Dublin and all major city as the Irish people wished to return to British rule and re-establish beer import with England.

1818
In the English civil war the sides have developed into two side the Tall peoples alliance and the Shorty's United.