Funnier History (Map Game)

What if history was funny?

What if all major events since the year 1800 turned out to be quite entertaining?

Well here we find out.

Rules

 * 1) I'm writing a page based on this so if you help a bit there that would be very much appreciated
 * 2) Whatever you post must be both funny and realistic if it's not it's getting deleted (sorry)
 * 3) It goes from the 1st of January 1800 and continues right up until whatever the hell date your reading this.
 * 4) Everything must have a precise date
 * 5) Don't colonize space
 * 6) Try and write some sort of live feed if it gets to the present day

1800
February - A strange cold resistant strain of marijuana gets into Canada and spreads like a weed (pardon the pun), the Canadian population quickly capitalizes on their new found "weed", they quickly pass into law the "Cannabis Act 1800" which bans all tax on marijuana in the country.



May - Napoleons soldiers decide it would be quite entertaining to kick Napoleon off his horse while crossing the Alps. Napoleon is dead.

April/October - Alexander Hamilton is elected president through Benjamin Franklin putting his name on the ballot as a joke.

November - People though it would be funny to be anarchist and burn down all of London.

1801
January - Luxembourg sends soldiers to conquer all of Belgium, the Netherlands, France, and Prussia, as well as their overseas Empires. Luxembourg is now the most powerful nation on earth.

February - The exiled king of Prussia pimp-slaps the entire population of Luxembourg. They hand back his territory.

Stalin comes back in time with half of the NKVD and declares control of the USA.

March- Stalin sells the Luxembourgish army PPSH-41s.

November- An anarchist revolution takes over Spain.

December- Stalin decides to get a more american name, he is now Bobby Hamilton.

1802
January- Former president Alexander Hamilton declares Stalin a "poser", who is so ashamed by this he goes back to Soviet Russia along with the NKVD member's.

February- An interstellar trading consortium (the Johnson&Johnson Textiles Marketing Division) consisting of the Grays, Wookies, and the colors Indigo, Magenta, and Strawberry Blond stage a landing on Svalbard in order to capture samples of polar ice for use in a super-thin condom.

July- The Great Bovine Revolution of '02 begins in England and Vermont.

December- China is taken over by a man afflicted with dwarfism who is only 2 feet tall.

December-Jesus Christ appears in Luxembourg.

1803
January-The CEO of Johnson&Johnson, the Color Magenta is overthrown by Jesus Christ.

Some Random Thursday-Bavaria is invaded by Chuck Norris.

March-Bavaria is renamed Norristan with its Supreme Emperor Chuck Norris.

The Bovine Revolution ends with a new Country ,Bovistan, gaining Scotland, the Isle of Man, Vermont, Massachussetts, New Hamsphire, and Wales.

April-The Chinese make metal armored ships then invade Korea, Japan, and the Ngyuan dynasty and completly annexes them, all in 1 day.

August-Jesus Christ is proven to be an imposter he is then roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris to Mars.

The Color Magenta is found murdered in Dundee, Scotland.

Barry Finklestein, a gray alien is the new CEO of Johnson&Johnson.

October-A mutant crab pirate dubbed Captain Crabcakes begins pirate raids around China.

December-The Luxembourgi Civil War starts.

1804
March-The Luxembourgi Civil War ends with East and West Luxembourg formed. Some German States are liberated.

The Alemmanic Empire is formed from Prussia and other liberated german states.

June-The Associated Neighborhoods of New York or A.N.o.N.Y. for short is proclaimed in New York City.

July-The United States develops a new musket that shoots musketballs with mad cow disease in them, they use these guns to take back Massachusetts.

October -Russia colonizes Alaska because, in the imortal words of Alexander II (how is in power through some means), "Because, we can....and now we did". All of Russia throw a year long party of maryment and joyfulness. They also somk some of the Canadian "weed" to see what all the hub-bub is about.......needless to say, canibise is now legal.

1805
Eddie the Pig with his universal control remote fast-forwards through 1805 so nothing happens.

1806
January-Mass suicide occurs because of the fast-forwarding.

Another Stalin from the future comes to prevent the origional from killing himself.

Eddie the pig is found, tried, and hung.

1807
After the slave trade act is introduced in the UK banning the slave trade from africa, the population of the UK decide that intead of using black africans they'll use short people intead. People under five foot in hieght are immeaditley rounded up.

1808
Ludwig van Beethoven dies halfway through his fifth symphony after the piano collapses on top of him.

1809
The state of Rhode Island seades from the union saying is was sick of the whiney ass President Thomas Jefferson.

1810
Napoleon in a fit of power maddness declares himself 'king of the world' King George III orders a large naked bottom painted on the white cliffs of Dover in reply.

Further more, Napoleon added to his previous declaration, becoming, "king of the world, on a boat like leo".

1811
Aliens land at Kew Gardens in London, King George III shoots them all thinking they are geese.

1812
Instead of declaring war on the British the US government accidentally declares war on King George III personnaly. King George III responds by sending a letter to congress telling them he didn't know they liked him so much and that they may kiss his amble royal backside.

1813
Jane Austin releses her book Pride and extreame predjudice about fighting at the royal court.

1814
The Pope decides that the Gregorian calender should be returned to the Julian calender, meaning that there are 12 15th's of Septmeber.

1815
The pope decides that the Julian calender is a stupid idea and returns to the Gregorian calender and the 10th to 22nd of July no longer exist this year.

5181
Somebody from a parallel dimension thought it would be funny to reverse everything. CD notgnihsaW becomes the capital of the aciremA fo setatS detinU.

1816
Order to the multiverse is restored. Washington DC is restored as the capital of the United States of America

The United Republic of Canuckistan is formed.

1817
England goes into civil war

Ireland gets its independence.

With Ireland's new found independence, the Irish technocracy introduces prohibition to stop civil unrest and established government police division to burn down Hops. Public outcry raged in Dublin and all major city as the Irish people wished to return to British rule and re-establish beer import with England.

1818
In the English civil war the sides have developed into two side the Tall peoples alliance and the Shorty's United.

Kerosene is discovered to be a refreshing drink and soon becomes the latest craze in French culinary as a sweetener. 23 out of 29 million French people are dead from kidney and liver failure.

Unstoppable French boning centuples the population, but because of their low genetic heritage they are all psycotic male albinos, French women are extinct.

Finland declares its independence and invades Sweden, Russia, Brazil, Prussia and China.

'''That's not really funny, its just ridiculous. Seriously, come on!'''

Canada purchased the United States since the U.S was in $2.6 trillion debt to the Canadians for buying Canadian marijuana. The Americans were easily convinced since they were still half baked when the deal was proposed. They are now AmeriCanadians.

1819
The new AmeriCanadians finally come out of the drug haze and realize they've been screwed by the Canadians, but the Canadians offer a huge amount of dope free and the possible rebellion is squashed

1820
Napolean Bonapart declares himself King of Scotland and in orders sent to Edinburgh he asks for a half mile deep half mile wide trench to be dug along the entire Scotland/England border, destroying the existing fort.

1821
Napolean dies in May of poisoning by Kerosene on St Helena, his favorite dog Boo-boo becomes the next King of Scotland.

1822
The King of England slaps an AmeriCanadian. The AmeriCanadian apologizes for hurting the King's hand.

April 14 - Boo-boo orders his royal subjects to build a bridge between Ireland and Scotland, with fancy lightbulbs. Boo-boo buys Canada, which includes USA.

November 17- Boo-boo is overthrown by a revolution and replaced by Mr. Fluffy or Napoleon's cat.

November 18- Mr. Fluffy chokes to death. Polly Napoleon's parrot is coronated emperor.

Novemeber 19th- France is now annexed by Austria- Hungary after Polly is bribed with a cracker.

sometime- someone from the future kills the luxembourgi presidents and the governments become in exile.

December 5th- Italy invades the European parts of Luxembourg Not funny, though possible, so that's even worse.

1823
Chuck Norris travels back in time by rubbing his beard three times anticlockwise.

Godzilla challenges Chuck Norris and wins, Godzilla then walks away after pooping on the Eiffel tower and then fights a Dalek invasion. Davros pees his pants as a result.

1824
Chuck Norris regains his strength and decides to swim south and then tow Antartica north to the Equator to make a new holiday home for himself.

1825
Chuck Norris arrives at the Equator with Antartica and builds his holiday home with the help of penguins.

1826
With Antartica now at the Equator the ice melts and floods the world, refugees from around the world arrives on Chuck Norrisland.

1827
Chuck Norrisland becomes the most populus nation on earth.

1828
Godzilla and Al Gore team up to kill Chuck Norris, needless to say the world is restored and Chuck Norris is dead. Al GOre becomes "The Man"

1829
Zippy reveals his intention to legalize abortion, which Fireman Sam disapproves of.

1830
Bob The Builder & Handy Manny have a huge fight over who ripped of who. Godzilla intervenes & wins.

1831
In Chuck Norrisland civil war breaks out between factions one of whom believes that Chuck Norris was the second coming of Christ, the other side believes him to have been the new Budda.

1832
The USA suddenly appears again!

In the U.S.A. a civil waer begins between people who say America, Amurica, Ameerica, Amorica, and Am'urka.

1833
Watatsuki no Toyohime kicks out the Chinese that was occupying Japan. She then becomes emperor of Japan, re-naming it into Toyotomi Japan. After-wards, she then writes a note to China that if they dare to invade Japan again, she will stuff their government into a small jail, filled with jelly doughnuts, as well as selling most of their land to Nepal, which remained shrouded in mystery.

Meanwhile, Romania declares independence and adopts Dragostea din tei by O-zone (that was brought to them by time machine) as their new anthem. The government of Romania orders it to be played really loud so the whole world can hear it.

Karl Marx appears in Madrid and Hangs himself.

1834
A legion of Ewoks with Roman uniforms appear in Sweden under Emperor Chirpa.

Emperor Cjhirpa finds instructons to make a Dreadnaught (from OTl 1920). He builds 60 of the m and raids Finland, Iceland, and Paris(he put legs on them)O.

The People who say Am'urka win the USA civil war.

1835
Watatsuki no Toyohime purchases the Russian Far East from Russia, and as payment, gives them vodka in return. This made all the Russian people too drunk, as well as making them dance the Kazatsky. Mongolia and Korea all start to laugh at Russia.

Meanwhile, Macau declares independence, and takes most of far Eastern China, from Hainan all the way to Shanghai; as well as renaming it to the 'Empire City of Macau'. To show their power, they build Lamborghinis, McLaren F1s, Pagani Zonda and the Ferraris that they stole from time travelling. The also pass a law that bans all the police departments from chasing cars.

Romania renames their country to O-zone, in honour of the popular song, Dragostea din tei. This causes the real O-zone to move to Europe but is broken a second later due to the song continually playing. Most of North Africa becomes frozen solid.

Emperor Chirpa takes Iceland, Maine, Paris, and Finalnd, and of courese Scandanavia.

1836
The Empire City of Macau decides to build 密卡登 (Translation:Megaton). It is successful, though 密卡登 quickly escapes and invades Greenland, to build a portal and GLaDOS. Cake does not exist any more.

Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to ban Macanese products and she also bans the word 'Macau' in Toyotomi Japan. She also changes the meaning of 'マカオ' to mean '悪' (which means evil). Toyotomi Japan now officially sees Macau as a fictional country, and evil.

Cirno and Letty Whiterock try to fight 密卡登, but 密卡登 turns them into pure water by using the flag of Spain. At the same time, Spain sinks underwater. Portugal celebrates and takes over all of Spains colonies and possessions as well as making them speak Portuguese. Spanish language is no more.

O-Zone (Romania) coins the term 'climate change'. It means "a climate thats nestled between calm Pacific waters and majestic mountains, as well as capturing secrets and treasures of many past civilizations". However, they decide to change the definition of 'climate change' to 'Salut! Sunt eu, un haiduc' (Translation: Hello! I am an outlaw).

1837
Jesus (the real one this time) comes back to life and screams at the Leader of Canada until he blows up. He then calls a cab to take him to Alpha Cenrauri for dinner.

Jesus' brother., Mark comes back to life and follows Jesus.

The Ewoks disvocer drugs. While high they take over Massachusetts.

Eddie the pigs ex-wife becomes a necromancer and moves to Brazil.

A raMPAGE of cows stampede through Texas and Mexico.

1838
Everyone on the Yucatan finds a bottle of Heinakin in thier hjands they all drink it.

A bliond old Chihuahua named Pedro names himself the emperor of Mexico.

Pedro forms an army offiercly loyal Chihauhuas to take over Mexicao in the name of the Chihuiahuan Empire.

A drunk guy in a time machine lands on top of a British ship.

1839
Nothing even remotly interesting happened this year.

1840
Tabloids are invented.

I.B.M. comes back in time and annexes zULULAND.

1841
Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to give Russia more vodka. The leader of Russia drinks the Vodka. All of OTL Russia except the OTL Russian Far East blows up and sinks. The Russian Ocean forms.

Borat appears in OTL Kazakhstan and says "This is all very nice". Borat becomes leader of Kazakhstan and gets huge money in tourist sites thanks to the Russian Ocean.

The Empire City of Macau sells a McLaren F1 to Laos. Laos becomes broken due to the sheer speed of the McLaren.

O-Zone (Romania) plays the Dragostea din tei song even louder. 密卡登 is blown up due to the song's loudness. No one is safe from the Dragostea din tei.

IBM builds radnom towers and invades Gibralter. They win. Now they have Gibralter.

1842
Watatsuki no Toyohime sets the reset button on China. The Song Dynasty re-appears, and starts to sing "もう歌しか聞こえない" (Translation: Deaf to all but the Song). The new anthem fits quite well of Song Dynasty, Toyotomi Japan is entertained.

The Empire City of Macau is annoyed by the Song. Macau builds a shield all over it's lands to prevent any songs from entering in. Music becomes banned in the Empire City of Macau except for Techno and Rock.

Aya Shameimaru, a Russian Vodkaist, accidentally breaks her camera after tripping on her shoe lace. Because of this, huge thunder-storms fall all over North America, and causing great destruction no one has ever seen before.

Romania's tourism increases, due to people trying to command them to stop. Dragostea din tei continues to play and crushes any rebellion from happening in Romania.

The Ottoman Empire starts to turn frozen solid due to having land in al-ready frozen solid North Africa.