User blog:GunsnadGlory/Common Misconceptions of History Part 2: Great Empires

I bet you all thought I would forget! xD

Well, they don't call me Guns the Memorable for nothing!

Come to think of it, they don't call me Guns the Memorable at all. And if they did, it wouldn't mean that I remember things well (I don't).

Enough of my ramblings- today we discuss- GREAT EMPIRES OF THE WORLD!! Dum Vivimus- Servimus.
 * 1) Myth: The Mongols were the largest empire the world has ever seen. Note the word EMPIRE, as in CONQUEST of OTHER NATIONS. You would not believe how many people believe the mongols to be the largest. Largest Contigous Two Dimensional Land-Based Empire. Yes.
 * 2) *Wrong, wrong on all counts. Depending on how you define it-
 * 3) **The Japanese Empire, 1942: Population wise. Controlled, well, basically, the Far East.
 * 4) **The British Empire, 1938: Land wise, and 2-D. The sun- LITERALLY- never set on this empire.
 * 5) **The Roman Empire, 735 BC to 1917 AD: 4-D. This Empire lasted for going on 2700 years, from the First Legendary King of Rome to the Fall of Constantinople.
 * 6) *Now, the main problem here is actually that the Mongols are seen to be the greatest conquerors of all time. Also not true. One of the reasons this is put forth is that they best the Russians.
 * 7) *Now, no offense to the Russians, but let's be honest here. My grandmother could take them on. Let's make a list of all the people who have fought Russia successfully, shall we?
 * 8) **The Scandanavians (specifically, the Mordvins and the Rus.)
 * 9) **The Turks.
 * 10) **The French.
 * 11) **The Brits.
 * 12) **The Japanese.
 * 13) **The Mongols.
 * 14) **Other Russians.
 * 15) **The Scandanavians again.
 * 16) **The Austro-Hungarians.
 * 17) **The Germans.
 * 18) **The Tartars.
 * 19) **The Americans.
 * 20) *Need I go on? Now let's look at the people who have failed to do so.
 * 21) **Some insane genocidal syphilitic apocoletic prick.
 * 22) **Some short, partially bald failure of an Emperor.
 * 23) *That's Russia 2, Rest of the World 12. Them Ruskies ain't so awesome after all.
 * 24) The Byzantine Empire was seperate from the Roman Empire. Or the Byzantine Empire was CALLED the Byzantine Empire.
 * 25) *The Byzantine Empire was either the Eastern Roman Empire, or, after 1472, the ROMAN Empire. Culturally the same. They claimed to be Romans. Same language (well, eventually they switched to Cyrillic). Same culture (mostly).
 * OH, and while I'm on the topic, let's take a look at some notable Roman battles, shall we (I know this is what you guys are all reading this for :D)
 * 1) *#The Siege of Constantinople: Let's start with the last battle Rome would ever fight, shall we? They certainly lived up to the Roman name. 25,000 Byzantines (and that was literally all that was left in Constantinople, by the way) against a force of no less than 350,000 Ottomans. 26 ships, under Venice, against 90 Ottoman ones. The Ottomans blew apart the walls of the city in the day (using cannons like these )- the Romans repaired them in the night. 50,000 Romans were left in a city built for no less than a million. They held out for no less than 2 full months, with no food, no ammunition, no help, no supplies. The only people who even attempted rescue were the Venetians, who sent in 26 ships and 600 men to die with the Romans. Finally, with their walls destroyed, one of their leaders (of the Genoese troops there) was mortally wounded, causing a huge panic. The Genoese fled towards the harbors- but the Romans fought on, till totally overrun. Constantine XI, the last Emperor of the Romans, rallied what few troops he had left, and, casting off his regalia, led a charge directly at the Ottoman lines. He was cut down within seconds. Overall, 30,000 of the defenders (nearly all) were killed.
 * 2) *#Teutoburg Forest: After an instance of the finest bravery at the lowest point of the empire, let's look at an act of cowardly stupidity during the Empire's highest points. Three Legions- the 17th, 18th, and 19th- led by Qunitilius Varus, one of the most feared men in the Empire, marching against a supposed Germanic uprising. With him, he had 6 cohorts of Auxilliries. Overall, he had no less than 36,000 troops under his command. He was ambushed by just 10,000 soldiers under Arminius- the same man who had convinced him of the uprising. The Romans were better equipped, had the advantage of numbers and terrain. There was only one way the Germans were superior, and that was in leadership. Over the next day and a half, the Romans, surrounded, attempted to break out twice. The second time, succeeding, they then proceeded to flee- but few were lucky enough to make it out alive. Those 10,000 Germans killed at least 20,000 Romans in that single battle. Their losses were estimated in the hundreds or even dozens. At one scene of the battle, researchers found the armor that would have been used by 6,000 Romans- and just a single Germanic artifact. Some of the survivors, however, did manage to redeem themselves at another battle- that of Aliso- but that was just a minor skirmish, and I shall not elaborate.
 * 3) *#Zama: Now, a battle that caused the Roman rise to power. This was the end of the Second Punic War. For 20 years, Hannibal had ranged up and down Italy, sacking city after city, looting, and pillaging the Romans. Now, the Romans were here for payment, under one of history's great underrated generals, Scipio Africanus. 40,000 Carthagians against 30,000 Romans- not the worst odds, but certainly not favourable to the Romans. And yet the Romans lost just 2,000 troops- against the Carthaginians 25,000. My words cannot explain the brilliance of this battle. I recommend you take a dekko at this .
 * 4) *I would, at this point, include a battle that caused the Roman fall, but the sad truth is that there is none. The greatest Empire the world has ever seen fell because of stupidity, from the civil wars that racked the Empire in it's later years to the removal of Stilicho- rightly called the Last of the Romans- or the removal of Belisarius- there simply was not a single cause that led to the Fall.
 * 5) The Roman Empire fell on May 29th, 1453, after the fall of Constantinople.
 * 6) *Wrong on two counts.
 * 7) *Firstly- Trebizond. This fell after Constantinople.That's the nitpicky side of it.
 * 8) *Secondly- you may have noticed that earlier I stated that Rome had fallen in 1917.
 * 9) **It did. You see, there weren't just 2 Romes- there were Three. Czar Nicholas II, the last Emperor of Russia- and the Roman Empire- holds the dubious honour of being the Last of Roman Emperors.