User blog:GunsnadGlory/Son of Bad Jokes

Famous last words
Last words say a lot about your chracter. Did George V of England die asking about the state of his country?

Or did he demean a nice little seaside resort with some rather coarse language?

Or is that true? After all, as Karl Marx said, "Go on, get out! Last words are for those who haven't said enough!"

They can be stupid. When Union general stuck his head above the parapet and started to demean the enemy snipers with the words "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-", I'm sure that he wasn't expecting that particular bullet.

Some people mock death. Lord Palmerston died laughing, with the words "Die, my dear fellow? That's the last thing I shall do!", while James Rodgers, standing before a firing squad, asked for a bullet-proof vest. James French, a murder who went the way of the electric chair, also made light of his impending doom, with the comment to the press: "How about this for tomorrow's headlines? French Fries!"

Others maintain some sort of delusions of grandeur. As the Emperor Nero said, "what an artist the world is losing in me!". Another fellow Roman, the Emperor Vespasian, died with the thought of becoming a god (I think not, actually).

Still Others want to be sarcastic. Think of Henrik Ibsen. When the nurse informed visitors that he was recovering, he replied "On the contrary!" and then proved it. Reverend Sydney Smith, after swallowing some ink, sent for "all the blotting paper in the house!". And John Curran, hearing his doctor tell him that his cough had worsened, replied "That is strange, since I have been practicing all night".

No, they are important. Look at Emilio Zapata, the Mexican revolutionary, who died with the epic words "Don't let me die like this; tell them I said something."

The Best Joke of the Week...
There was once a man who wished to be a great writer, who wanted to write pieces that would spread around the globe, that would cause people to cry out of sadness, that would be known by everyone, that would cause them to react on a truly emotional basis.

Well, he succeeded.

He writes error messages for Microsoft.

... And the Worst!
A Statician, a biologist, and a mathematician watched a couple walk into a buliding. 5 minutes later, they came out with a young baby.

"They've reproduced!" exclaimed the biologist.

"No, it's an observational error. On average, 2.5 people passed each way," the statician replied.

"Don't be silly!" the mathematician laughed. "If somebody enters the building now, then it will be empty!"