User:Nathan1123/A Crimmass Carol - Chapter 5 (The End of It)

Crim looked up to the light that filled the room…. And yes! The computer was once again his own. The bed was his own, the room was his own, but best and happiest of all, the time before him was his own, time to make amends! The keys to his alternate future was given to him, and that is the happiest Christmas gift of all. No more fog and no more mist, just golden sunlight and sweet fresh air. Oh, glorious!

Crim instinctively opened up Discord, and was astonished to see everything left exactly as it was the night before, without a trace of the four spirits. Crim didn’t pause at this, but wanted the world to know his change of heart:

CrimsonAssassin: “I will live in the Past, Present and Future!! The spirits of all three shall strive within me.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Oh, NuclearVacuum, Heaven, and the Christmas Season be praised for this! I say it on my knees, old Nuke; on my knees!”

Crim was indeed on his knees, in the position he had been stuck in while pleading with the last spirit. The tears of mourning for his own demise were now being re-purposed as tears of joy. Realizing what this could mean, he quickly checked his social media on Facebook, then Snapchat.

CrimsonAssassin: “They are not gone! My Facebook is still there.”

CrimsonAssassin: “They are here – I am here – the shadows of the future have been, or might be, dispelled.”

CrimsonAssassin: “No… they WILL be dispelled, I know they will!”

Crim’s hands shuttered as he fumbled over his morning routines: picking things up, setting them down, blessing every step and every object as a gift from heaven. After washing his face, Crim stumbled back to the computer,

CrimsonAssassin: “I don’t know what to do with myself lol. I am light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I’m as giddy as a scrub!”

CrimsonAssassin: “A Merry Christmas to everybody!!! A Happy New Year to all the World!!! LOL LMAO”

Without waiting for a response, Crim collapsed the window and began scanning his room and the computer. There was the microwave his drab dinner was cooked in! There was the PM thread Nuke appeared in! there’s the Skype of the Desktop the Ghost of Christmas Present talked in! “It’s all right, all true, it all happened! Hahaha” Crim shouted vocally.

Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so many years, it was a splendid laugh. The father of a long line of brilliant laughs.

CrimsonAssassin: “Wait, I don’t know what day of the month it is. I don’t know how long I’ve been with the Spirits :/”

CrimsonAssassin: “I don’t know anything… I’m just a baby at this point lol”

CrimsonAssassin: “Whatever, idc, I’d rather be a baby” (laughing emote) “Whoop-whoop! Hello there!”

He was interrupted from his ecstasy by the ringing of bells. At first they seemed to Crim like a collection of ephemeral bells, hailing his regeneration from Heaven. Rather, he saw that it was notifications on Discord, as a user is pinging him who was before neglected.

Octavian Marius: “@CrimsonAssassin ? Are…. You feeling alright?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Oct!! What’s today?”

Octavian Marius: “Huh? Have you been drinking again?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Drinking? Hahaha! Just tell me what day is it”

Octavian Marius: “It’s Christmas Day, as far as I know.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Christmas… Day? I haven’t missed it then. The Spirits did it all in one night!”

CrimsonAssassin: “Of course they can haha, they can do whatever they want. Thanks @Octavian Marius!”

Octavian Marius: “What spirits? What night?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Do you know the world history atlas site I always use?”

Octavian Marius: “How could I forget?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Ah, Oct, I never get to say how you are such an intelligent boy. Truly remarkable!” (smiling emote)

CrimsonAssassin: “You know that new premium atlas they are selling? The big one?”

Octavian Marius: “The one that costs more than my student loan?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Haha, such a great sense of humor! Yes, that one.”

Octavian Marius: “What about it?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Go and buy it.”

Octavian Marius: “Uh… sure Crim”

CrimsonAssassin: “I’m serious. Go buy it, and link it back to my PM. I’ll tell you where to take it from there. Do it and I’ll give you $50 in bitcoins. Do it in five minutes and I’ll give you $100.”

Oct was off like a shot.

CrimsonAssassin: “Hmm, I’ll send it to JoshTheRoman! He won’t even know who sent it. It’s twice the size of the map Solace made for him.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Whoop-whoop! How are you everyone? Merry Christmas!”

The hand in which Crim typed the email address was not a steady one, but eventually he managed to get it out and, somehow, stood up without tripping completely into his bottles, for the heels of his feet were begging to be clicked. Crim steadily put the computer to sleep to focus on getting dressed, and its sleep mode caught his eye “Ah, what a beautiful screen, it’s wonderful! I will love it as long as I live” he cheered.

He chuckled as he said this, and this was the same chuckle with which he paid for the atlas, and was the same chuckle with with he paid back Oct, which was only exceeded by the chuckle with which he sat down breathless in his chair again.

Shaving was not an easy task, for his excitement could not quite keep a steady hand. Ordinarily shaving requires attention, let alone when you don’t dance while doing it. Finally, he was dressed in his gayest apparel, cleaned up all the bottles from the floor with a cheerful carol on his lips, and returned to the wiki. He greeted every post, even the most blatant troll with a delighted smile. With an irresistible pleasantry he remarked

CrimsonAssassin: “MERRY CHRISTMAS ALTHISTORY FAM” (followed by three or four grinning emotes)

Nathan1123: “Good morning, Crim! Lol A Merry Christmas to you.”

‘Merry Christmas’. Of all the sweetest words Crim could have ever heard, those were the most sweet to his ears. Within a few minutes, the youthful gentlemen who had troubled Crim the night before came on the chat.

Ace009: “Crim and Nuke’s I believe?”

It sent a sharp pin into his heart, to think that he had treated these people so rudely before.

CrimsonAssassin: “My dear Ace! How are you? I hope you were successful yesterday. It was such a kind thing for you to do.”

CrimsonAssassin: “A merry Christmas to you, buddy!”

Ace009: “Uh, Crim? :/”

CrimsonAssassin: “Yes, that is my name lol.”

CrimsonAssassin: “I know it may not sound like good news to you. Please forgive me.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Here, I PMed you something.”

Ace009: “Bloody hell! Are you serious, Crim?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Yes please, and not a penny less.”

CrimsonAssassin: “A lot more is coming where that came form, I assure you. Btw can you do me a favor?”

Ace009: “Well, uh.. I don’t know what to say to such… uh...”

CrimsonAssassin: “Not another word. Just, will you come and hang out some time? The mods are planning a special get-together tonight I believe.”

Ace009: “Me? I will! Thanks :)))”

CrimsonAssassin: “Thank ye as well :), I won’t forget this moment if I live to be fifty. Good bless you!”

Crim merrily skipped through the chat on Discord. He watched people hurrying their timelines to and fro, offering help to young users. He questioned beggars from TFOE, and gave them generous bonuses. He never dreamed that any conversation – or anything at all – could give him so much happiness. At last, he decided to pay MP a visit. He opened up the latest incarnation of the Facebook chat invite MP sent to him long ago, and continually re-sent each year. Crim thanked himself for not deleting it any time before.

SkyGreen24: “Surprising to see you here, Crim.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Is MP around?”

SkyGreen24: “Yessir.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Lol where?”

SkyGreen24: “Not far, if you care to sit around for a while. He’s picking up his girlfriend now.”

CrimsonAssassin: “Thanks, he should be expecting me by now haha.”

Monster Pumpkin: “Hey guys, I was just showing her the wiki, she should be coming on in a few minutes.”

CrimsonAssassin: “MP!” (hugging emote)

Monster Pumpkin: “Good lord, who are you and what have you done with Crim?”

CrimsonAssassin: “Oh MP, you always have such great humor. It’s me, Crim!”

CrimsonAssassin: “Is this where we organize meeting up?”

Indeed it was! And a the gaggle of them had a party in that chat unlike anything Crim experienced before. He enjoyed the company of each and every one of his mod staff as they entered, including those he had never spoke a word to before. Filled with wonderful games, wonderful unanimity, and wonderful happiness, the party was absolutely lit. Christmas was in the air after all, casting a jolly spell.

Crim was bright and early to Discord the next morning, before the sun had even come up. He had to be there to catch JoshTheRoman coming late! That was what he wanted most of all, for his practical joke.

A full 18 minutes late, Josh came shuffling in, leaping to his work at the chat as if to make up for lost time. Crim focused on acting like his old self for the purpose of the following charade.

CrimsonAssassin: “@JoshTheRoman!! What are you doing coming at this time of day??”

JoshTheRoman: “I-I’m sorry Crim, I am a little late.”

CrimsonAssassin: “You are… yes, indeed you are. What do you have to say for yourself?”

JoshTheRoman: “Crim pls, it’s only once a year.”

JoshTheRoman: “I won’t do it again, I was just being very merry yesterday.”

CrimsonAssassin: “You know what, Josh? I am not going to stand for this nonsense any longer. Therefore, I am going to nominate you for brass!”

Completely taken off guard, and slightly in a state of disbelief, Josh posted what was racing through his mind before he had a chance to read the rest of what Crim said”

JoshTheRoman: “Crim no! Please! It doesn’t have to be that-”

JoshTheRoman: “Wait, what?”

CrimsonAssassin: “A Merry Christmas, Josh! LOL”

CrimsonAssassin: “I am giving you a merrier Christmas for many years! You will be brass, and will be better able to help the less experienced users in your private server, and ….”

CrimsonAssassin: “Well, why don’t we discuss the details with the rest of your family, and a nice mix of Croatian vodka.”

CrimsonAssassin: “There’s more Christmas to be had before you dot another i, Josh!”

Crim was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Vinny, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good an admin, and as good a man, as the good old wiki knew, or any other wiki, website, or server, in the good old Internet. Some people laughed to see the changed man, but he let them laugh, and laughed with them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happens in the history of alternate timelines, for good, at which some people did not have a their fill of laughter at first; and knowing that they were blind to the truth anyway, he considered it worth it just to have a smile on their face. His own heart laughed: and that was all he really needed.

He had no further intervention from the Spirits, and neither was caught drinking to excess after that; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, as far as anyone could tell. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Vinny observed,

Tullin: “God bless us, Every One !”