User:Nathan1123/It's an Alternate Life - Chapter 3

ForsakenPear: Here they come!

UR and Up appeared on the chat in a shower of confetti contributed by some Discord bots. The entire chat was once again in celebration together, this time in honor of the happy couple who have now dedicated their lives to the writing of alternate history together. All the extended members of their respective digital families were present to wish them off, with the admins under the employment of Scraw as notably absent.

This was definitely not a time for careless memes and viral videos, not on UR and Up's big day. Rather, the Discord bots were worked to the bone spreading 8balls, confetti and Mazel Tov's at the whim of each user; if they had any bones, that is. Likewise, the radio voice channel was exploding with classical and jazz music, carefully selected by the couple beforehand. Even the chat mods could relax at this time, as everyone collectively understood UR and Up to be the stars of this moment.

Up discarded her own bouquet of virtual flowers, which Candy snatched out of the air. Online relationships was commonplace among this type of Internet community, but for the Althistory wiki this was a professional matter first and foremost. And even if the timeline resources they carefully saved up only amounted to a couple of posts on AH.com, UR was clearly eager to spend the extended vacation with her. FP made sure to snap a few screenshots of the chat, savoring moments of adorable verbal exchanges. As the chat began to die down, UR and Up sequestered away to a private channel with Solace and Andy.

Monster Pumpkin: First Centrist goes, and now UR. You know Non, we are quickly becoming senior citizens at this rate.

NonsensicalJourney: Eh, speak for yourself MP lol

In the private channel, other people who were joking with each other were almost visibly cringed by the coy exchanges between UR and Up. Finally, Solace had to interject.

SolaceEaSw: If you ever notice a stranger in the room at all, it happens to be me

United Republic: Hey who let this guy in here :P SolaceEaSw: Well that's cap

Typically, that's all Solace can express whenever he is suppressing the need to roll his eyes or give a judgmental stare. Nonetheless, he had a purpose here to deliver a congratulatory gift. In a moment, the chat uploaded his file of a vintage wine recipe of Romanian origin.

SolaceEaSw: Andy told me to send this over.

Thewolvesden: Yeah, float away to Happy Land on the bubbles, you kids

United Republic: Oh wow! This looks great

UpvoteAnthology: Good old Andy

SolaceEaSw: So by the way, what are you going to do on your little honeymoon?

United Republic: What are we going to do?! I'll show you what we're going to do

UR then posted a screenshot of his file browser, indicating a network drive of about 800 kb of data.

United Republic: There it is, the whole kit and caboodle Solace.

United Republic: You know what we're going to do? We're going to live our dreams for the next two weeks, wherever that takes us. The wildest timelines, the biggest wanks, the cringiest movies, the hottest games and the greatest life

SolaceEaSw: Sounds like a bomb. And then what?

United Republic: Well, then what, Up? UpvoteAnthology: After that? Who cares!

United Republic: Oh, you

Suddenly, the conversation was interrupted by a incessant rattling of pings going off across the general channels of the chat. Unfamiliar names with strange avatars began flying across the screen, and the company of familiar faces that were once celebrating were now entirely replaced with a frenzy din of chaos.

SolaceEaSw: Um, you don't have to look now, but there's something funny going on over in the general chat

SolaceEaSw: UR, I've never seen one myself, but it seems to have all the trademarks of a raid

Raid my not have been the most accurate term for the situation, but in any event the chat was now full of new users, having been orphaned from their former wiki recently shut down by the changes to Wikia's terms and conditions.

Stephanus Rex: Hey Solace, if you have any timelines, you better lock it down now before it gets vandalized

But UR himself would not leave so easily, for as usual his conscience compelled him to intervene more directly to the situation. Up, for her part, could sense that look in his eyes and made her best attempt at a voice of reason.

UpvoteAnthology: UR, please, let's just go. We don't have a lot of time

United Republic: No dear, wait. This will only take a minute

UpvoteAnthology: Please UR, someone else will handle it…

United Republic: I'll be back in a minute, Up

UR returned to the general chat to enter the fray of digital foreigners. Chaotic it was, to say the least, enough to make any chat moderator unsheathe his ban hammer as a jungle caution. And yet, these were clearly not a band of trolls or users with any malicious intention. They were scared and confused, glued to their digital footprint on wikia as a matter of life and death. Half of them were shamefaced, grimly determined on their rights as refugees of a dead wiki, but in their hearts there was both panic and fear.

United Republic: Hello everybody, welcome to the Multiverse! You are from TFOE right? I heard the terrible news from that, Wikia doesn't pull any punches

Nobody directly answered his question, but the sheer fact someone was willing to stop and listen to them slightly lightened the mood to a ray of hope in their eyes. They were repeatedly posting screenshots and links to various timelines on the wiki, indicating their difficulty to access a variety of pages.

United Republic: What's the matter? You can't get in? You have wikia accounts right?

The Internet can be a fickle place, especially when so much of it is run by machines and algorithms instead of human minds. And a machine, like a stone-faced policeman, can't tell when a large influx of requests to the same server is for good or bad intentions. Certain pages or resources can get locked up or shut down, in fear of a potential DDoS. In some cases, the prolonged hiatus on a server can cause permanent damage to the community it holds up. Thus, in such a scenario of a large group of new users, one must proceed cautiously, or else risk their entire digital persona.

UR had compassion for these refugees, but first and foremost his concern was the safety of the contributors his community timeline, King of America, so he first rushed to open that channel. Oddly though, he found that these channels were inexplicably locked as well, which should only be at the discretion of senior contributors like himself. Once he unlocked it, a tumult of KoA contributors steadily poured their way in, mixed in with a number of refugees. As UR was frantic to find some friendly face who could explain the situation, LL finally appeared on the chat, who quickly beckoned UR to speak with him privately on this.

United Republic: What is this LL, a holiday?? Why was the channel closed?

LightningLynx: UR… I kind of need to talk to you…

Before leaving, UR made every effort he could to make ease the nerves of his employees, and the rest of the crowd.

United Republic: Alright everybody, why don't you all just sit down? There are some nice chairs here, why don't you make yourselves at home. Have a cookie or two while you are at it

LightningLynx: Now, UR

The people continued to largely ignore UR, aside from a metaphysical shared feeling of warm appreciation. In his own calm way, however, UR complied to meet with LL.

United Republic: Ok LL, why didn't you message my talk page?

LightningLynx: I just did, but they said you left

LightningLynx: Oh UR, we are in a real pickle this time

United Republic: Alright, but what happened? How did this start?

LightningLynx: How does anything like this start? All I know is the timelines on the Wiki are closed down

United Republic: All of it?

LightningLynx: Every last article and image. Must be some sort of security precaution from the influx of users

United Republic: Good lord!

LightningLynx: I Just got scared, UR, I locked down the channels, I mean…

LightningLynx: Without a timeline to contribute to, these users won't become much more than trolls in the eyes of the TSPTF

United Republic: Yeah, well the whole wiki is going crazy,

UR's statement was interrupted by a soft pinging noise, indicating it came through on LL's end. After a moment's pause, he returned.

LightningLynx: UR… uh… it's Scraw

With his mind still spinning, UR steadily opened a DM with Scraw.

United Republic: Hello?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: UR, there is a rumor around the site that there is a raid on your community timeline, is that true?

United Republic: Not really a raid… the situation is calming down

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Oh, well, I'm quite happy to hear that

Scrawland Scribblescratch: UR, are you alright? You need wiki central to intervene?

United Republic: Central? What the heck for?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Well you know, mobs have a tendency to get ugly sometimes

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Anyway, UR I'm going all out to help in this crisis. The admins are working with Wikia staff right now to guarantee Althistory's resources. It will be down for like a week, and then it will be up and running again.

UR was completely unphased by this double-talking from Scraw. He didn't pause a second to ping LL with an update on the situation

United Republic: He just took over the Wiki

Scrawland Scribblescratch: I may lose a great deal, but I'm planning to keep your contributors employed too. Just tell them all to bring their ideas to my timeline hub, and they'll be working the rest of their lives

United Republic: Man, you do not miss a trick, do you Scraw? Well, at least you'll miss this one

No sooner did he post that message, did UR begin to reach for the option to mute Scraw's DMs. A petty act, but certainly saves him from listening to Scraw's forked tongue spewing more lies. This also ensured a few extra moments of frustration for Scraw, who furiously checked the connection of his Discord to make sure his DMs were going through.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Look. If you close your channel before 6 PM EST, you will never reopen it. Period.

UR, of course, was no longer listening. He was busy staring at an old image on his desktop of Imp's old avatar, a quiet sketch of Gandhi's face. Deep in thought, he pondered what his next move will be.

LightningLynx: Was it a nice party, UR? I mean, I'm sorry I couldn't be there

United Republic: Yeah, yeah it was

UR went back to the King of America chat to address the contributors directly: his employees, his family. One of them, however, was already starting to speak out.

United Republic: Now listen people: just try to remember that things aren't nearly as bad as they seem

Firesofdoom: I heard that Wikia central was coming here, is that true?

This began to cause a stir of uncertainty in the crowd. UR, however, found it best to ignore this misinformation. At the same time, Up and Solace both quietly entered the chat at this point.

United Republic: I have some good news for you. I've just talked with old man Scraw, and he's guaranteed the timelines will be reopened next week

Firesofdoom: Next week?? What are we supposed to do before then?

Firesofdoom: Is Scraw's timeline open for contributors?

United Republic: Well no, I didn't even ask… we don't need Scraw's help with that

Firesofdoom: Alright, I'll just take my own articles and maps now

United Republic: No but… you're thinking about this place all wrong, as if I had all the timelines on my own desktop.

United Republic: The resources aren't here. Your flags are in Russian America (you used to write for that last year), and in the Age of Brian, the Bells of Baghdad, and a hundred others. They all are instances of objects kept in the Wiki's private database, which is shut down right now to prevent an error of too many requests, but they are going to get you the resources as soon as they can. Now what are you going to do, DDoS them?

Firesofdoom: Look, all I want is the New England article and map, and I would think one request of an article is not going to break anything

United Republic: Ok Fires, alright. You just sign up this form to adopt the page and you'll be verified within five days

UR pasted a link to a very short, straight-forward Google form. Fires, however, was greatly disgusted and confused at this. Not that he has anything against filling out forms, in fact its one of his greatest hobbies. But waiting several days for a simple verification is what rustled his jimmies.

Firesofdoom: What? Five days?

United Republic: That's the standard agreement we have, which is pinned to this channel

As UR was typing up a longer explanation for this process, another user spoke up who had previously been left on idle.

Wilster22: Fires? Did you get your article done?

Firesofdoom: Apparently not

Wilster22: Well, I did. Old man Scraw is hiring contributors immediately for his timeline, with no wait time

Firesofdoom: Well, what do you say about that, UR?

UR could tell he had to respond immediately to this challenge, as the crowd was growing more restless. Still, his sense of honesty and respect came first and foremost.

United Republic: Fires, you have to stick to the terms of the community. Now just give us five days to verify this

Firesofdoom: Yeah, sure. Let's go, Will

Even without using an emote, one could feel the sarcastic eyeroll in Fires's words. The whole crowd of people began to be moved by this display as well, and one by one each of their fingers itch towards the button to switch channels. Another contributor in the crowd chimed in, genuinely curious,

77topaz: Are you changing over to Scraw's timeline?

Firesofdoom: Better to have something to contribute than nothing at all

UR knew he had to act fast, and immediately threw out the only thing he knew to get peoples' attention, even if briefly.

United Republic: Fires, Will, just wait! @everyone STOP

United Republic: Listen to me, please. I beg you not to do this

United Republic: If Scraw gets a hold of this timeline, they'll never be another decent community made on this wiki. He's already got control of the chat, the map games, and even the TSPTF are in his pocket

United Republic: Now, he's coming after us. Why? Well, it's very simple. Because we're cutting in on his business, that's why. And because he wants to keep you living as underappreciated, discarded writers and dancing to the tune he decides

United Republic: Topaz, you used to work for Scraw, didn't you? Well have you forgotten how much of your content he took without attribution?

United Republic: Here Will, you remember last year when things weren't going so well, and you couldn't finish that article for KoA. You didn't lose your contributor status, did you? Do you think Scraw would let you keep it?

United Republic: Can't you see what's going on here? Scraw isn't being altruistic, he's assuming more pawns in his game. And why? Because we're panicking and he's not, that's why. He's putting out some deals, but we can get through this. Alright? We just have to stick together. We have to have faith in each other.

77topaz: But, I haven't published a page in over a year, and we need content

Firesofdoom: What are we supposed to do before it goes back up?

Willster22: We can't run a wiki on just faith

The chat began to accelerate in greater and greater speed as UR began to be pelted with one questioning criticism after another, each one stabbing at his confidence like needles. This was not for any lack of faith among his contributors, but rather it was sheer fear that has overshadowed all their rationality. Finally, Up could not stay silent but immediately spoke up.

UpvoteAnthology: Alright, what content do you currently need?

UR's whole world was lightened up, as an idea flashed across his mind. In a few seconds, a screenshot appeared in chat showing UR and Up's special network drive, all the content they spend months saving up.

United Republic: Hey, listen up! I got over 800kb worth of timeline material right here. This will tide you all over until the wiki is back up

United Republic: Alright Fires, how much do you need?

Fires, impatient as he is, would no longer stand messing around with KoA, and so he insisted on his own personal property being returned.

Firesofdoom: I'll take all the maps and content of my New England article, all 80kb worth

United Republic: No, come on fires! Just enough to tide you over until the wiki is back up

Firesofdoom: I'll take all the content of my New England article

Reluctantly, UR dug through his folder and found several digital assets that made up the content to the New England article in King of America, which he sent to Fires in DM.

United Republic: There you go

Firesofdoom: Thanks. I think I'll make my own timeline from this

United Republic: You are still in KoA, that's just a loan

United Republic: How about you, will?

Willster22: I mean, I have several articles on the Wiki

United Republic: Now Will, come on. Just what will it take before the Wiki is back up?

Willster22: Oh. Well, probably like 8kb worth as much

United Republic: Yes, now you're talking :). Check your DMs United Republic: Alright now, Topaz, how much do you want?

77topaz: But UR, that's your own content. What will you use?

United Republic: Never mind about that. How much do you want?

77topaz: I guess I can get along with a map or two, that's like 10kb

United Republic: Very good

77topaz: I won't use it very long

United Republic: You don't have to rush it whatsoever, I know you'll give it back when you can

That evening, the team of KoA staff had gathered around their collective desktop clocks, taking into account the UTC offset, so they can mutually soak in the excitement of the moment.

United Republic: Six

United Republic: Five

United Republic: Four

LightningLynx: We're going to make it, Will. They'll never close us up today, haha

United Republic: Three

United Republic: Two

United Republic: One!

United Republic: Bingo!

The clocks all reached the equivalent of 6 PM EST across the board, signaling the end of a work day. Each and every user online at the moment took a jigger of the calming drink they had prepared in the event of this success, or alternatively abating their depression if it failed. With a dramatic flair, FP closed out the channel and proceeded to spam happy faces across the chat. On UR's desktop, the network drive now only showed 800 bytes remaining, consisting of two images of a crouching tiger and a portrait of Adam Weishaupt.

United Republic: We did it, we're still in business! Although we only have two images left…

United Republic: But yeah! Let's have some more. LL, let's prepare a toast

The whole chat was uproarious for this joyous occasion. UR particularly took LL aside to continue the friendly banter.

United Republic: Well LL, looks like we're a couple of fine multidimensional wizards

LightningLynx: Jeff Bezos can eat his heart out lol

United Republic: FP, we need to make a special meme, a fanart for these two beautiful portraits

LightningLynx: Yes indeed! And now, a toast!

United Republic: A toast, to Knockoff Washington and Sher Khan. And if you want this timeline to stay in business, you're going to have to start multiplying real quick LightningLynx: If only they were rabbits

United Republic: I wish so too. Anyway, let's upload them to the wiki and see what happens next

This celebration only lasted for another few seconds while UR threw up the images to the upload menu on the Wiki, which was still otherwise locked from editing.

ForesakenPear: Oh, if only AH.com could see us now lol

Those words suddenly shot out of the screen and stabbed UR in the heart. His moments of celebration were terminated by the reality of what he just missed out on, his last chance to escape the wiki.

United Republic: A… AH.com? oh, no… oh lord, please no…

United Republic: Up! Where's Up?

United Republic: Poor Up… I was such a stupid idiot! All our plans for AH.com is completely shot now

UR was flying in a panic now, not even completely sure of his surroundings. He glanced occasionally at the clock on his desktop, somehow almost hoping the time would start ticking backwards if he stared long enough. He wasn't even aware now of the Discord pings piling up on his DMs.

United Republic: I wonder if Solace is still here at least, and WHERE THE HECK IS UP

ForesakenPear: UR, I think you should check your DMs…

United Republic: Look, can someone ask Up to message me, she probably went to bed at this point

ForesakenPear: Becca is DMing you right now

United Republic: I don't want to talk to Becca, I want Up-

No sooner did he post those words that the reality began to dawn on him.

United Republic: Oh, that is Up, sorry about that

Overcome with emotions of confusion, shame and anger, UR opened the DM channel with Up.

United Republic: Hello? Upvote?

UpvoteAnthology: Hey UR <3, how are you?

United Republic: Look Up, I'm really sorry…

UpvoteAnthology: Don't mind about that, let's get settled on our project.

United Republic: Project? We don't have any project now… it's all given away

UpvoteAnthology: Not about that, no, but I know a good page we can adopt

United Republic: Adopt a page? Like what?

UpvoteAnthology: You know, “Washington Shot at Murdering Town”

United Republic: Huh? What kind of a timeline name is that

UpvoteAnthology: Just look it up on the Wiki, I'll meet you there

UR steadily navigated his way off of Discord, and work his way into the darker, more obscure and forgotten parts of the wiki where the page indicated by Up was located at. The page that awaited him was so jam packed with random text and embedded wiki code, it almost was unrecognizable as a page on the same website. It was a shadow of its former self, even more so than the days when UR and Up cast their wishes years ago as children. However, at this point a few users were already hard at work way ahead of him, just touching up the page enough to make it feel like a livable space. In particular, the Ads and links to the dark web and other questionable sites were being cleaned out one-by-one.

BearCavalry: Hey, this is a sponsored ad, if we remove this they won't like that

Thewolvesden: How would you like to get muted for the next week? Haven't you sense of romance?

BearCavalry: Sure, I used to, but I got rid of it

Ignoring that snide comment, Andy proceeded to read out one ad to emphasize his point.

Thewolvesden: Viagra pills! Who the heck wants to see Viagra pills on their honeymoon, huh? They want beautiful places, places UR wished he could go to

While they continued working, Solace arrived in the old wiki chat.

SolaceEaSw: Hey Andy, heads up: He is on his way

Thewolvesden: Come on, Bear, we have to clean this up before he comes

BearCavalry: Who?

Thewolvesden: The groom, you idiot! Now help me with this banner

BearCavalry: The couple is coming here? And you call me an idiot

The banner in question was a custom-made template of Andy's own making, a banner across the top of the page giving a warm welcome to two very specific users. A humble home, but a home nonetheless, and the best that UR's friends can possibly offer him. It was a bit experimental, of course, and a few bugs in the code had to be patched in real time as it was held up. Quickly, the chat was speckled with suggestions back and forth as the banner was set up:

Thewolvesden: Set the user variables in the banner

BearCavalry:' Alright, alright

Thewolvesden: Hurry up… hurry up

BearCavalry:' I'm doing the best I can

At last, UR arrived at the wiki page in person, confused as much as he was beleaguered. He looked up at the screen, and rectified his eyes to this apparent visual contradiction: The page continued to bear the same chaotic, incoherent conglomerate of thousands of messages piled over the years from hundreds of users. And yet, there was something slightly more warming and welcoming about the page, cleaned up just enough to feel like it has potential of being restored as a new timeline once again. At the top of the page stood the banner of Andy and Bear, specifically linking the usernames of himself and Upvote. At last, his mesmerized state was broken by Solace beckoning him on the wiki chat.

SolaceEaSw: Hiya.

SolaceEaSw: Good evening, Sir. I will escort you to your suite

SolaceEaSw: Entray, monsieur, entray

Music steadily began to play through the chat, instantly recognizable as “Yellow Submarine”, kicking off a full playlist of slow, classic rock. As UR scrolled further down on the page, he saw a number of rushed, almost childishly-hand drawn pictures adorning the page, in reference to various history topics that he most enjoyed: Kaisarreich, Imperial Japan, and Napoleon. At last, as UR's astonishment began welling up with positive vibes, Upvote suddenly appeared in chat. Her avatar was also changed at this point as well, now with a cartoonish Japanese kimono drawn over the image. Even before she posted any words, one could metaphysically feel a smile creep across her face.

UpvoteAnthology: Welcome home, Mr. Republic

United Republic: Up… when did you…

This prolonged romantic moment was nearly interrupted by a glitch on the embedded playlist, turning first to static then fading out. Thinking quickly, Solace resorted to throwing in a YouTube link on-hand, being a smoother vaporwave music.

United Republic: Oh, Becca…

UpvoteAnthology: Remember the night we vandalized this old timeline page? This… this is what I wished for

United Republic: You're wonderful

Almost perfectly caught up in the moment, even Andy and Solace proceeded to pass winking emotes to each other.

The image of the wiki and Discord shifted again, as time passed forward once again into UR's life, now raising drawing on a far broader business than he had before. Working together, UR and Up restructured the worn-down article into a new Wiki resource: a center for education and integration of new users. As a new day has dawned, and the chat was back to its usual clatter of various events and conversations. At one point, an older but familiar user posted his timeline to the chat for all to see, which was immediately commented on.

WarriorofFreedom: Sky, you let Scraw license you a new wiki article?

SkyGreen24: License? Haha, that's rich

SkyGreen24: UR, did you hear this?

United Republic: Hm? What did he say?

Sky, in his usual friendly sarcasm, didn't have time to update UR on things he already knew.

SkyGreen24: I own this article. Yes, me, SkyGreen. I own my own mini timeline. No more do we have to live in the shadow of Scraw's monopoly, lol

Along with Sky came a host of much younger, newer users, all clamoring questions and pings to his name like he was their favorite school teacher, or a mother hen. Soon enough, UR and Up arrived on the scene and helped to corral the users together and herd them towards their resource page, helping them to get started under Sky's own miniature community timeline.

United Republic: I think I'll take them off your hands for the time being

SkyGreen24: Oh, thank you UR, for everything

United Republic: Alright kids, time to get inside. Make yourselves right at home. Here, you can all have cookies :D

SkyGreen24: Goodbye everyone, bbl

United Republic: Doviđenja

Sky departed from the chat for the time being, leaving a parting gift of a YouTube link to “Lijepa naša”. The resource page UR linked was now unrecognizable from its earlier incarnation, having been renamed to the same title given in its glitchy, makeshift banner: “United Republic's Academy”. In fact, all the garbage of the page was cleaned up so much that now the page looked more barren than it was edited. What content replaced it was fairly simple and reserved, but organized. A simple foundation for a growing community.

Time began shifting again, and the angels next witnessed a scene of the same group of new users, having fully adjusted and integrated, looked upon by their proud parent, Sky. Links to his own community timeline, or rather theirs, was also on display. UR, in his own right, was just coming to the last message of his dedication to this moment.

United Republic: SkyGreen, welcome home

Josh, UR's old friend, at this point entered the chat, bearing a swagger that is the sheer epitome of success. His entrepreneur ventures in Napoleon's World had finally paid off, rising him to the rank of Lieutenant on the wiki.

JoshTheRoman: That old UR… he's always making a speech, LMAO

A little embarrassed to be shown up by his childhood companion, UR just gently mumbled to Up.

United Republic: Ah, its Josh

UpvoteAnthology: Oh, who cares

Given the slight reassurance he required, UR concluded his speech.

United Republic: A toast, that joy and prosperity may reign forever. Enter the Sky castle!

All the younger users and Sky mutually exclaimed their delight, profusely thanking UR for all he offered them.

Time shifted again, and the screen focused on the TSPTF chat many years later, in a private meeting being conducted by Old Scrawland himself. UR's reputation had now proceeded him, and it was on this topic that his loyal chat mod, Rex, was briefing him on. At this very moment, Rex uploaded an album of screenshots he collected to illustrate this very point.

Reximus55: Look Scraw, it's not really any of my business, I mean, I'm just your little ban enforcer basically, but you can't really laugh off UR's “academy” anymore. Look at this:

The couple on chat was suddenly interrupted by a third person.

Vandenhoek: Scraw, if you look on your talk page, Wiki central has a message for you.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Tell the Wiki staff they can wait.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Continue, Rex

Reximus55: So like I was saying, two years ago it was just a long stretch of sandboxes and a few personal notes here and there, if you take a look at the first image I linked. A few scattered ideas, kinglists, drafts, I even uses to store map games there myself.

Reximus55: Now look at it today: Dozens of the most aesthetic little timelines you could ever find. 90% owned by suckers who used to be contributors for you instead. Your Scribble Scratchpad, Mr. Admin, is becoming just that. And once more, those neckbeards are still making those “David and Goliath” jokes….

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Oh they are? Even though they know UR and his friends never profited off of any of this

Reximus55: Yeah, but you know very well why. The KoA people are all chumps lol. Every timeline these people have made are worth twice anything native to their own project. Now, if I were you Scraw,

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Well, you aren't.

Even in the most pressured situations, Scraw's arrogance still commanded completely control.

Reximus55: I know, as I said, it's none of my business. But one of these days, this bright young constable is going to be asking United Republic for a job

Scrawland Scribblescratch:

Scrawland Scribblescratch: You know Vand, UR has been a thorn in my side long enough

The screen shifted again, back to the Wiki chat where UR and Up were catching up with their old friend, while Ethan and other users were still lingering around. Even still, UR was visibly less comfortable interacting with Josh again after all this time, knowing how much more successful he's been with his timeline than anything UR has been able to do.

JoshTheRoman: We just stopped by to check out the No Napoleon timeline, and then we're going to join a mass Hoi4 modding team

United Republic: Oh…

WarriorofFreedom: Josh, why don't you have them all join us?

JoshTheRoman: Hey, that's a good idea! How about you kids take a vacation with us, hm?

Once again, the opportunity was tantalizingly dangled before UR's eyes, another chance to escape the wiki. Yet, at this point he has invested too much in one website, between Up, LL, the academy and KoA, he couldn't just leave on short notice.

United Republic: I'm afraid I couldn't, sorry, I can't get away…

JoshTheRoman: Still got the nose to the old grindstone, huh? Would you believe it, Ethan, I offered this guy on the ground floor of No Napoleon, and he turned me down. Cold.

United Republic: Now, you don't have to rub it in,

JoshTheRoman: I'm not rubbing it in. Well anyway, I guess we better get moving along

WarriorofFreedom: I am awfully glad to have met you, Up

UpvoteAnthology: Nice meeting you too

WarriorofFreedom: See you around, UR

JoshTheRoman: So long, UR. See you in the cringe compilations, LMAO

United Republic: Goodbye, Josh

UpvoteAnthology: Have fun!

United Republic: Thanks for dropping by

JoshTheRoman: Alright then, off! My planet needs me! LMAO

United Republic: LMAO

UR's use of the phrase, however, was much more slowly typed out, and clearly unenthusiastic. He sat brooding at his desk for several minutes after Josh and Ethan left the chat. He was frustrated, almost loathing his situation, but not sure who else to blame but himself. Why does Josh get to go out and make a name for himself, but not him? Why did Centrist get all the luck on Conworlds and not him? Its not that the work on the wiki was not satisfactory, certainly not, but UR almost felt imprisoned now in a cage of his own creation, a cage made of his own selfless acts. Just before UR logged off, he felt his fist slam against the keyboard of his computer, causing a spam of text to fly across the chat.

After another shift in time, UR was now summoned in the presence of the TSPTF chat, talking privately to Scrawland himself. The chat was unusually decorated, with the background changed to a color scheme familiar to old Japanese art, overlaid with a screenshot of a respectable, but obscure anime. UR was put off immediately by this situation, being very uncomfortable with Scraw acting so friendly and considerate. It simply wasn't in his nature. Not without a hefty price tag or a knife in the back, that is.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Welcome, UR.

United Republic: Thank you… that's quite a background image, Scraw

Scrawland Scribblescratch: You like it? Figured as much. I'll send you over a whole folder of them.

United Republic: I guess I'll find out sooner or later, but what exactly did you want to see me about?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Ha, that's what I like about you, UR

Scrawland Scribblescratch: UR, I'm an old veteran of the wiki, and most people hate me. But I don't like them either, so it balances out. You know just as well as I do that I run practically everything on this website except King of America. You know, also, that for a number of months, years even, I've been trying to get control of it. Or kill it honestly, like that makes any difference. In any case, I have not been able to do it. You alone have been stopping me.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: In fact, you have beaten me, UR. And as anyone on the wiki can tell you, that takes some doing. Take during the TFOE raid, for instance. You and I were the only ones that kept our heads. You saved KoA, and I saved pretty much everything else.

United Republic: Yeah, well most people would say you stole everything else

Scrawland Scribblescratch: The envious ones say that, UR, the clowns. Now, I have stated my side very accurately. Now let's look at your side:

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Young man, say 18 or 19, collectively among his contributors getting say… 300 views a week

United Republic: 350, actually

UR aimed to keep hold of his dignity, even in the face of a humbling statistic.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Ah, 350, of course. Out of which, after cleaning the house, paying your bills, you are able to save a modest amount of resources for personal projects, that is if you skimp. Then after you start in college, you won't even be able to save that. Now if this young man of 19 was an incel neckbeard with no social life, I'd say he was doing just fine. But United Republic is not an incel neckbeard with no social life. He's a diligent, smart, ambitious young man – who hates his job. Yes, he hates King of America almost as much as I do. A young man who's been dying to get out on his own ever since he was an anon.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: A young man, the smartest one in the crowd, who has to sit by and watch his friends go places one by one, because he's trapped. Yes, that's right, trapped into frittering his life away by playing nursemaid to a lot of middle schoolers. Now, do I paint a correct picture, or do I exaggerate?

United Republic: Ok, so what's your point Scraw?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: My point? UR, my point is I want to promote you

United Republic: What… promote me?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Yes, I want to nominate you for Lieutenant, put you in charge of my timelines. UR, you realize that I can make it so you get 3 million views a year.

United Republic: Wait, what? Three… million??

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Surely you wouldn't mind having the nicest profile on the Wiki, providing Up with the best social media for publishing her art, taking occasional visits to archival societies or the Library of Congress. You wouldn't mind that, would you, UR?

United Republic: Oh, would I?

United Republic: You aren't talking to somebody else on the chat, are you? You know this is me, right? United Republic

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Oh yes, United Republic, whose ship has just come in. That is, provided he has the brains to climb aboard

United Republic: Well… what about the building and loan?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Oh for God's sake, UR, are you seriously afraid of success? I'm offering you a three year contract starting today, now is it a deal or not?

United Republic: Well Scraw, I….

United Republic: I know I should just jump at the chance, but…

United Republic: I wonder, would it be possible for you to give me 24 hours to think it over?

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Sure, sure. You go on home and talk about it to Up.

United Republic: Yeah, I'd like to do that

Scrawland Scribblescratch: In the meantime, I'll work out the forms for it

United Republic: Alright, then

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Is that ok, UR?

United Republic: Yeah… Ok, Scraw!

At first, UR rapidly typed up the last responds of affirmation with genuine glee, in a far better mood than he was earlier in the presence of Josh. But gradually, as he reached the end of the sentence and pressed enter, UR's typing slowed down to almost a crawl. He paused for almost a minute after posting, and the screen almost fogged up with welling emotions across UR's eyes as his trembling hands raised higher and higher off the keyboard. UR focused intently on his hands for several more seconds before returning his attention to the screen, namely the desktop image he always kept of Imp's old avatar. He realized, in that moment, he was making a grave mistake.

United Republic: No… no, no, no!

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Hm? No what?

United Republic: You listen here! I don't need 24 hours, and have to talk to anybody. I know right now, and the answer is NO! no no no!

Scrawland Scribblescratch: UR, if you look at the facts,

United Republic: You sit around here and spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your social media. Well, it doesn't, Scraw! In the whole vast configurations of things, I'd say you were nothing but a slimy little spider, and that goes for your clowning chat mods, too!

UR stormed off the TSPTF chat, swearing silently to himself to never open it again, even if directly linked. As he moved his way back to the KoA community channel, his mood steadily shifted from anger to a more somber tone. UR's eyes gazed up upon the humble, simple decorum of the KoA channel, only accented with a few public-domain images, along with default styles and fonts. It was dark and quiet tonight, as both Up and LL were offline and likely asleep. UR's silent brooding turned to fidgeting, rapidly flipping between channels and rereading the old messages from Scraw over and over again.

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Surely you wouldn't mind having the nicest profile on the Wiki, providing Up with the best social media for publishing her art, taking occasional visits to archival societies or the Library of Congress.

UR moved on at last to start looking back in time to far older messages, the earliest history that his Discord still kept logged in its database. At last he found the old conversation between him and Up that was consistently on his mind, and relevant to the situation. UR paused a moment to start staring deep at the dark mode of Discord, beyond the screen itself, and stared down at his own reflection in the screen, before readjusting back on the text printed in front of him.

United Republic: I know what I'm going to do tomorrow and the next day the next year and the year after that. I'm shaking the dust of this crummy little website off my feet and I'm going to see the world

UR's eyes wandered off of Discord at last, and took up residence on Up's Deviant art page which he still had bookmarked on his browser. Even to this day, Up had the same cartoonish picture as the background of her profile, titled “Will Lassos the Moon”. A simple profile, nothing too special, but effective. UR looked back to Discord, reading the next message of the old conversation.

United Republic: What is it that you want, Upvote? What do you want? Do you want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down

As UR was lost in thought, he almost started losing track of time. Finally, his concentration was broken by sudden pings coming from Discord, followed by the characteristic notifications on Windows.

UpvoteAnthology: We all live in a yellow submarine…

With Up unexpectedly awake and alert, UR was taken by surprise, but he could not help but have a smile creep up across his face.

United Republic: Hi…

UpvoteAnthology: Hi!

United Republic: Upvote, why in the world do you hang out with a guy like me?

UpvoteAnthology: To keep away the existential depressed?

United Republic: You could have taken up the offer from Josh, or literally anyone else in this wiki

UpvoteAnthology: I didn't want anyone else in the wiki. I need a college-educated man in my life

United Republic: We didn't even get to properly hang out, and I promised you…

Before he could finish his sentence, the gravity of Up's statement slowly dawned on UR.

United Republic: Wait… college? wdym?

UpvoteAnthology: I took the liberty of sorting your emails again. Looks like you got some good news ;)

United Republic: You mean, Up, I got accepted?!

UpvoteAnthology: UR lassoed that moon after all lol

United Republic: Lassoed the moon! This means that I…

United Republic: Can you link me to the inbox again?

UpvoteAnthology: Uh, huh

Before Up finished pasting that link, the screen shifted again before Clarence, and time flashed forward at a more rapid pace than before. Scenes began to speed past in fast-forward, showing UR continue to work closely with KoA in partnership with LL, as well as his own academy of new users in partnership with Up. In the interests of eternity, Joseph had decided to more briefly summarize the remainder of UR's life leading up to the current situation.

“Now, you've probably already guessed Will never leaves the Althistory Wiki.” Said Joseph.

“No!” exclaimed Clarence, by this point really feeling sympathetic towards these restrictions laid on poor UR's life.

“Will and Becca at some point adopted an apprentice of their own out of their school. A bright young Vietnamese-American going by the name EmperorKangxi.”

As Joseph explained this, the scene of the wiki showed UR carefully and patiently instructing Kang, showing him how to set up a custom template.

“Then they adopted another user – a Swedish boy named Drafigo.”

This time, the screen showed Up patiently instructing Draf on the Discord, showing him a chart of rules on capitalization grammar.

“People sure have strange names these days.” Remarked Clarence.

“You'll find the Internet to be both a strange and beautiful place.” Joseph dryly responded, and continued on with his narrative.

The screen showed Up quickly sketching period-appropriate works of art on Paint.net, seamlessly like a time-lapse.

“Day after day, she worked tirelessly on her Deviant Art to make the old Murdering Town page into a home”

Then UR entered the wiki chat, just resting his feet from the whirlwind of the Discord and online researching. He briefly exchanged a few warm emotes with Up, or at lest he attempted so. The last emote, the sunglasses smilely, was clearly a bit bugged in the old and decrepit code of the wiki chat, and came out as just a capital B and parentheses. However, UR was far too visibly tired to let that frustrate him.

“Night after night, Will came back late from the office and his classes. Both Scraw and college was bearing down hard on him.”

In a sudden shift of time, several images flashed across the screen. Switching back and forth between the Althistory wiki and the Subreddit, a variety of memes, banners and parodies signaled the greatest conflict that rocked the althistory community: the Cronies.

“Then came a war. MP and Crim recovered the accounts of wounded soldiers. Up adopted two more users, but still had time to organize the memetic campaign.”

As Joseph kept talking, the screen continued to flash to new images. Up was uploading a WWI-style propaganda poster, authentically drawn but with characters replaced to match the avatars of the TSPTF. Josh was also scene delivering codes and links to users as they charged off the site into battle. Suddenly, all present users snapped to attention in respect as Scraw entered the chat, who carefully inspected the credentials of each soldier.

“JoshTheRoman made a fortune in VPNs, and other security technologies for the wiki. Scraw became head of the draft board.”

Scrawland Scribblescratch: Yes, I quite agree these are all basically 1-A.

The images began to grow more intense, as a variety of users took up arms of Smurfing software and DDoS programs to storm the beaches of the althistory subreddit, in retaliation of similar attempted invasions of the wiki. On other, neutral websites like AH.com, Nuke and LL were posting links while giving rallying speeches to elicit empathy for their cause.

“Nuke and LL raised additional money for saving the wiki on Gofundme and other sites. Andy's account was damaged in the Gmail campaign, and was awarded a medal by the TSPTF. Solace, his friend parachuted into the Crony discord unnoticed. LL helped to capture the Old Boar Bridge.”

Finally, the screen rested a moment on the avatar of Centrist, warmly congratulating the other admins of the Conworlds wiki.

“But Centrist… he topped them all. Working with Wikia staff, he shut down fifteen different Crony accounts, two of them as they were trying to drive Altverse into the ground.”

“Yes, but Will…” pleaded Clarence. He was certainly pleased to hear of the noble things done by other users, even proud, but his responsibility was to UR. But reality is often disappointing, and even in the midst of a war he was unable to leave his post.

“Will?” continued Joseph, “Disqualified for field work on account of his outdated hardware, Will fought the battle for King of America.”

The next scene showed UR deliberating complaints from his contributors, speeding by the chat like a tumult. Although this was reminiscent of the stressful situation UR faced during the TFOE raid, this time he had complete command of the situation, gained form his experience. UR spoke out confidently and commanded respect with his cool head.

United Republic: Hold on, will you hold on now? Don't you know there's a war on?

“Early-warning raid warden, writing drives, kickstarter drives, etc.”

One final scene saw UR solemnly and thoughtfully passing an “F” in the chat along with many other users, as the backlight was dimmed to the level of candlelight.

“Like everyone else, on V-W day he wept and prayed. And on V-D day he wept and prayed again.”

By this time, or for all of eternity, Franklin had assumed back to his previous position among the group of angels, since the backstory of UR's life is almost coming to an end. He calmly interjected to the conversation.

“Joseph, now show him what happened today”

“Yes, sir” Franklin continued.