User:Nathan1123/It's an Alternate Life - Chapter 5 (End)

As the notification came up showing Clarence was typing his message, UR's ears were distracted by a huge gust of wind raging outside his window. The snow had suddenly stopped falling, but the sheer wind was picking up flakes and wooden debris and batter them against the window. The knocking of his roommate on the door had also suddenly silenced. UR immediately stood up from his PC and ran over to investigate the window, to make sure it wasn't a freak tornado or other emergency. While he was standing up, UR heard another sound that struck him as even more, coming from the Discord. At first, he wasn't sure what that sound was, but after Clarence pinged UR a second time, it started to dawn on him: the notification sound was coming from both sides of his speakers.

Clarence: You don't have to make all that fuss about it, Joseph.

United Republic: What were saying exactly?

Clarence: You've never been born. You don't exist. You haven't a care in the world, now.

Clarence: No worries, no obligations, no copywrite violations, no Scraw looking for you with the police, nothing.

Inasmuch as UR would be fascinated with this thought experiment, his first priority was getting his computer working again.

United Republic: Can you ping me again real quick? I need to test my audio

Clarence: Oh sure! You can hear out of both sides of it.

United Republic: That's so bizarre. I've never heard anything out of both of my speakers since I first joined the wiki. What, are you hacking my registry, now?

Clarence: No haha. Look around Will, your room is cleaner now.

UR slowly and cautiously looked around his room, or at least what was his room moments ago. The floor was spotless, without any single dish or textbook anywhere, and even the walls were also devoid of any poster or even a thumbtack. The bed had all its blankets and sheets gone, leaving behind only a single grey mattress. Outside his window, the wind completely died as fast as it came.

United Republic: Huh, how about that. What's just happened?

United Republic: It's even stopped snowing, as well. What's going on?

United Republic: I think what I need right now is a nice stiff drink. What do you think, Clarence? Could you use a drink?

Clarence: Well, haha, I don't think,

United Republic: It'll be fun. I just need to first clean off my desk,

Clarence: Your desk is clean, Will.

Indeed, the knife UR retrieved earlier was now missing, as was all other papers and materials left on his desk recently. They were now all gone.

United Republic: Well, how about that. I must have blacked out at some point, I guess. Anyway, I'll go ask my roommate for some drinks, you can just float around or something

Clarence: I can't float. I haven't got any wings.

United Republic: Right, right, you haven't got your wings, yet, sorry

UR carefully but briskly meandered his way to the door, and stepped out to his greater apartment. He took note how everything seemed to be a little messier than he remembered earlier that day, while at the same time there was comparatively less stuff sitting around in general. In fact, it was so much less that UR found himself unable to find any drinks he stored in the kitchen just a few days ago. Before he could formulate theories on where they might have gone, the front door slammed shut as UR's roommate was returning from the outside world.

“Hey, do you know where my Jack Daniel's went to?” UR threw out to him, “I can't seem to find them”

“What? I'm sorry, but… who are you?”

“Me? Come on, don't give me that. It's Will, the guy who kicked all your trash out of my wastebasket”

“What wastebasket?”

“What do you mean, what basket? This basket!”

UR was already prepared to give another swift kick against his own trash can just to make his point. However, as he dramatically gestured towards the waste bin, he saw that it was back to being upright again, and all the trash was cleaned up from it as well. In fact, the wastebasket was a completely different brand and color as what he remembered either, like it was a completely different basket entirely. While his attention was temporarily turned, the roommate subtly leaned forward to try to smell how much alcohol UR was giving off his person.

“You must be in the wrong room.” His roommate continued, “You had me worried. I've had a lot of stuff moved around since I got a single.”

“A single? I 'am' your roommate! We've been living in a double for two years”.

“I've been in a single the whole time I've been here. Do you think I don't know where I live? What's the matter with you?”

Before UR could answer, the man stormed back out of the apartment, all the while reaching for his cellphone to call some security or authorities. Confused and still shaken, UR slowly walked back to his computer and sat down, answering the messages left for him by Clarence.

Clarence: What was wrong?

United Republic: My own roommate doesn't recognize me. Says I'm in the wrong apartment

Clarence: You have no apartment.

United Republic: Well I had one! I really don't understand this

United Republic: Honestly, either I'm off my nut, or he is

United Republic: Or you are

Clarence: No, it isn't me.

United Republic: Maybe I can ask Sky for some advice, he should still be online on the Facebook group

United Republic: Well, you're free to tag along well if you want, Gabriel

Clarence: I'm Clarence.

United Republic: Clarence, right

UR fumbled with his PC trying to navigate his way back to Sky's Facebook group. Not only was his browser history empty, but Facebook seemed to not recognize any of his usual credentials. When he finally stumbled across the page, he almost felt he made a wrong turn because of how unrecognizable it has become in just a short period of time. All the wholesome South Slavic festivities had been wiped clean, and instead the whole page was filled with a gaggle of uncouth behavior. The contents of the chat was packed with teenage fedoras, sharing a plethora of edgy memes and questionable clips of music. Excess drinking and mukbang also continued, as the only grounding force in this bizarre world. Nonetheless, having acquired what he needed UR copied the Facebook URL and pasted it back in the chat for Clarence.

United Republic: It's alright, go on in. Sky is a good friend of mine Clarence appeared in the Facebook group, sporting the same beaming avatar with the most cheerful gaunt. UR helped to settle him in this neck of the Internet, while looking around for some trace of Sky.

United Republic: Go ahead and sit down, make yourself at home

United Republic: Oh hello Edge, where's Sky at?

Edgeofnight: English, moron, do you speak it?

United Republic: You know, SkyGreen24? Your boss? Where's he at

Edgeofnight: Look, mate, I'm the boss here. Are you having a drink or not?

United Republic: Okay, alright, I'm sorry. I'm having a double bourbon

Edgeofnight: Passable. What's yours, Holiday Clearance?

Clarence suddenly became surprisingly eager to answer this question.

Clarence: Me? Ooh, I was just thinking,

Clarence: I mean, it's just been so long since I,

Edgeofnight: Look, I have places to be so I can't just stand here waiting for you to make up your mind

Clarence: Ah, that's a good man

Clarence: I was just thinking of a flaming rum punch. But, then I thought “No, it's not nearly cold enough for that”, so then I thought,

Clarence: Wait a minute. I got it: Mulled wine, heavy on the cinnamon, and light on the cloves! A stroke of genius.

Clarence: Alright, that's all. Be off and be lively! :)

Clarence was again pleasantly surprised to find the smiley works in Facebook as well as in Discord. Edge, however, had his patience worn thin by this joker trying to act like as mart alack around his establishment.

Edgeofnight: Look you pleb, what this page has is people who make hard drinks and want to drunk fast. What we don't need are characters around to give the joint atmosphere. Do I make myself clear, or do I have to slip you my left fist as a convincer?

Clarence: Will, what is he talking about?

United Republic: Edge, Edge! He's just having the same thing I have. He's a good man, I promise.

Edgeofnight: Fine

Edge couldn't stay any longer anyway, and proceeded to do his duties in modding the page.

United Republic: What is the matter with everyone today? I've never saw Edeg act like that before

Clarence: You'll see a lot of strange things from now on.

United Republic: Yeah maybe

United Republic: Hey, you worry me too, little buddy. Do you have a place to live?

Clarence: No.

United Republic: You don't? do you have any money?

Clarence: No, haha.

United Republic: So, no wonder you were depressed

Clarence: I messaged you so I could save you and get my wings.

United Republic: Oh right, I forgot

As this strange conversation was starting to draw the attention of people on the page, someone decided to try to ping Clarence from the Discord site. As soon as the characteristic bell sound of Discord went off, Clarence lit up. Edge had just returned and was catching up with the discussion.

Clarence: Ah-ha! Somebody's just made it.

United Republic: Made what?

Clarence: Every time you hear a bell ring, it means that some angel's just got his wings.

Edgeofnight:. ..

United Republic: Uh… look, I think maybe you should avoid talking about getting your wings around here

Clarence: Why? Don't they believe in angels?

United Republic: Well, yeah of course, but,

Clarence: Then why should they be surprised when they see one?

Edgeofnight: ……..

Seeing Edge getting so tense, UR decided he had to diffuse this using his real name.

United Republic: Don't mind him, Mat. He's just very immature, like,

United Republic: Hey Clarence, how old are you, anyway?

Clarence: 293.

Clarence: Next may.

This trolling was the last straw. Edge began eyeing up his banhammer.

Edgeofnight: That does it! Out you two pixies go, either through the door or out the window

United Republic: Look, Mat, what's wrong?

Edgeofnight: And… that just makes your case worse. Where do you come off calling me Mat?

United Republic: Well that's your real name, isn't it?

Edgeofnight: That's exactly the problem, because I don't know who the hell you are

At that point, a new user entered the chat, which UR took a few seconds to recognize. NuclearVacuum now had a default avatar, and his page showed no mutual friends, or barely any friends at all. But, UR could tell from the URL that this was, beyond doubt, Nuke's account. Everyone immediately began trolling and mocking Nuke as he stumbled about, begging for people to donate to his page a little money for Christmas.

Edgeofnight: Hey you drifter! Didn't I tell you to never come panhandling around here?

Edgeofnight: Maybe this will help educate you

Nuke's nickname on the page changed, as Edge edited it to read “dunce”. Everyone burst out with lols and lmaos, pointing fingers at this display. Everyone except UR, who just sat back in horror at what was going on before his eyes.

dunce: heh, good one

United Republic: Nuke?! Nuke??!! Is that really Nuke?

United Republic: Nuke, this is UR, Will. Don't you know who I am?

dunce: No? No! sorry

Edgeofnight: Alright, enough amusement for today

Nuke was immediately kicked from the page, without any warning or justification.

United Republic: Wait, what? what the heck??

United Republic: Mat, Edge! Isn't that NuclearVacuum, the Wiki admin?

Edgeofnight: And… that's another reason for me not to like you

Edgeofnight: That bum was banned for two years from the Wiki after sending the TSPTF a virus. If he's your friend, then you must be a troll as well

Edgeofnight: So yeah, allow me to show you the door

With the users on the page still rising a cacophony of derision, Edge unsheathed his banhammer and kicked both UR and Clarence right off the page, then permabanning them moments later. Keeping up the amusement for the sake of his users, Edge then proceeded to mass ping people across Discord and Facebook.

Edgeofnight: Hey check me out! I'm giving out wings

UR and Clarence were back on Discord, with the former far more confused and shaken up than the latter. UR started typing out a message, but kept deleting and retyping as he was not sure what best to say.

Clarence: You see, Will, you were not there to stop Nuke from putting that virus into the image.

United Republic: What do you mean I wasn't there?? I remember distinctly:

Before UR could finish typing his next message, he glanced up at the Internet browser and noticed the name of Sky's page had now changed, reading “Edge's nest”. The user list under the page banner showed Edge as the only admin of the page.

United Republic: What the heck is this? What's going on?

United Republic: This should be Sky's page, not Edge

Feeling his entire reality now unraveling around him, UR turned his attention towards Clarence directly, desperate to get some answers.

United Republic: Who are you, really?

Clarence: I told you, Will. I'm your guardian angel

United Republic: Yadda yadda yadda, I know. But what else are you? some sort of hacker?

Clarence: No, of course not.

United Republic: Then why am I seeing all these strange things?

Clarence: Don't you understand, Will? It's because you were not born

United Republic: Ok if I wasn't born, then who am I?

Clarence: Nobody. You have no identity.

United Republic: What do you mean, no identity? I have a name, I have a school I take classes in

UR began rifling through his jean pockets, trying to retrieve his wallet and cellphone, and prove this troll wrong. To his horror, however, he found that now every single pocket on his clothes were empty. Now rising in panic, UR pushed his PC aside and began tearing open the desk drawers one-by-one. But alas, where before every crevasse was packed with papers and policies, now they were all as bear as the day they were born. Nothing was making any mount of sense, and UR began to feel very surreal. His hands fumbled back to his computer, almost unable to figure out what they wanted to really do.

Clarence: There is no such person, Will. You have no classes, no credit card, no driver's license, no social media, no insurance policy…

UR minimized Discord as he began searching on his computer itself: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Althistory Wiki, every corner of every social media had no trace of his presence or existence anywhere. He tried searching the had drive, and found no documents, no pictures, no videos, no homework or timelines of any kind.

Clarence: Your entire digital footprint has been wiped clean. No trace of your identity exists, even on the smallest memory register of the most remote servers of Google or Facebook.

UR tried his best to ignore these words from Clarence, that only served to further sever his connection to reality. He frantically minimized every window to search the desktop itself.

Clarence: They aren't there, either.

United Republic: What???

Clarence: Driving's petals. They're gone. Those users never joined the wiki because you never adopted them.

Indeed, as UR searched the desktop, he saw that the image asset of petals for Driving's flower was also missing.

Clarence: You've been given a great gift, Will. A chance to see what the world would be like without you.

United Republic: No… no, wait a minute. This is all just some funny dream I'm having

United Republic: Goodbye, Clarence. I'm going home

Clarence: Home? What home?

At this point, UR had had it up to his neck in Clarence's rhetoric.

United Republic: Now SHUT UP! You understand? Cut that out!

United Republic: You're crazy, that's what I think. You're screwed up in the head, and you're just making me crazy too by listening to you. That's why I'm having these delusions

United Republic: I'm going home on KoA to see Up and the rest of my family, and you are NOT coming with me

With UR gone, Clarence sent off a few messages to his boss, waiting a pause between messages for Joseph to answer.

Clarence: :)

Clarence: How am I doing, Joseph?

Clarence: Thanks.

Clarence: No, I didn't even have a drink!

UR furiously closed out of the Discord and opened a browser for the Althistory wiki, hoping to find some answers on the KoA community timeline. Before he was even able to type into the search bar, however, he discovered that the entire character of the Wiki had changed. The main page had taken on a very distinctive Imperial Roman theme, where the SPQR standard was pasted across the banner of the page, clearly lifted straight from Scraw's own avatar. As UR scrolled further down on the page, he was confronted with more news that made him equally horrified. Old Board Suffered was now nominated for a Stirling Award, and most other community timelines were similarly dominated by the Cronies. Every fiber of the Wiki was now fully monetized, and everywhere there were embedded ads and links going to a variety of questionable shopping options, online gambling, and pornography. The entire map game community at this point had their own layer of microtransactions, where users could slip bitcoins to the mods in exchange for boosts in their timelines.

On the Wiki chat, UR noticed a group of constables were successively banning and purging a number of users, caught in the act of cyber prostitution. UR decided now was as good as any time to ask for help navigating this strange world.

United Republic: Hey, do you happen to know where the King of America timeline was moved to?

Fritzmet: King of what?

United Republic: The King of America timeline, it was right here on this Wiki

Fritzmet: That timeline was deleted years ago

Suddenly, UR's vision caught sight of one specific user flashing across the chat. The precocious Filipina he knew so closely in his own world. Candies avatar was far more suggestive at this point, and she was clearly among the busted users who were in the process of being kicked out of the Wiki. His heart going out to her, UR attempted to intervene.

Candiesrgood: That man is a liar, I'm telling you!

Candiesrgood: I'm warning you, I know every mod in this site. Heck, I know Scraw himself! You can't just throw me out

United Republic: Candy?!

United Republic: Hey, it's clearly Candies

Fritzmet: Yeah, we can tell

United Republic: I know that girl, though

Fritzmet: Yeah, sure, just stay back from this or you'll get the same treatment

And within a matter of seconds, Candy was kicked from the server right before UR's eyes. And before that wave of disbelief could settle on him, he caught sight of another user he recognized, one last hope to get some answers.

United Republic: Hey, Solace? Solace!

SolaceEaSw: Hm?

United Republic: Can you please help me find the hub of my timeline academy? I'm going out of my mind

SolaceEaSw: Alright, which page is that?

United Republic: Oh come on, Solace! Don't give me that. You know exactly what page it is

United Republic: It's the old Murdering Town page

SolaceEaSw: Oh. Are you sure?

United Republic: Yes I'm sure! Please hurry, I need to check on Driving

SolaceEaSw: Okay, give me a minute

UR couldn't wait very long, understandably, before questioning Solace himself on the situation.

United Republic: Look Solace, you have to help me out. I think I took some bad liquor or something

United Republic: Listen, please. You live in East Side of Chicago, right? Your timeline Gods and Kings are kept on the Republic Academy hub, correct?

SolaceEaSw: You've seen my timeline?

United Republic: Seen your timeline?! I've posted on their talk page a hundred times!

SolaceEaSw: Look man, what's the idea? I made my timeline on the Scribble Scratchpad, that is until it was stolen by another user without credit. Also, I've never seen you before in my life

As Solace browsed around for the page in question, he first stopped by Andy's talk page and dropped a message: “There is a nut in chat named United Republic. Keep an eye on him”. Andy was evidently the only person to remain a constable in both universes. When Solace at last found the old, dilapidated page he immediately copied the link to paste in the Wiki chat.

SolaceEaSw: Is this the place?

United Republic: Yes! Of course it is

SolaceEaSw: Well, this page hasn't been touched in over ten years

UR was confronted with the cold reality of the page staring back at him from the screen. Outdated, broken wiki code of a dozen templates, scratch work and draft notes of obsolete timelines, and layers of incomplete signatures was all that he could find. There was no Republic Academy, no wiki resource page, no apprentice users. On the wiki chat, a conversation was going on while UR's profile was marked as idle.

Thewolvesden: What's up, Solace?

SolaceEaSw: I'm not sure, but we better keep an eye on this guy. He's bonkers

UR came back on Discord, at the channels he thought should correspond to the King of America chat where he was just talking to Driving and Draf. But even here, he found no trace of any chat history, no sign of any such users. All the discussions that remained visible in these channels were utterly unrecognizable to him. At this point UR had completely lost it, and felt his mind utterly breaking. He began screaming into the void across the chat.

United Republic: Up! Up, please where are you?

United Republic: Atli!

United Republic: Draf!

United Republic: Kang!

United Republic: Driving! Where are you? @everyone

Clarence: They aren't here, Will. You have no family.

United Republic: You again!? Where are they, what have you done with them??

Andy and Solace moved to the Discord to follow UR. As usual, Andy needed to flex his moderator roles in order to keep this nut in check.

Thewolvesden: Alright, that's it. I'm going to have to jail both of you and sort this out

United Republic: Andy? Thank heaven you got here

Thewolvesden: You're going to have to calm down, things are not what you think they are

United Republic: Andy, what's happened to my timeline? Where's Up? Where's my adopted users?

SolaceEaSw: Watch him, Andy. Smells trollish to me

Thewolvesden: Come on now, you need to cooperate

United Republic: Andy, Solace! What's the matter with you two? You were here when I started dating Up. You two stayed up all night at the Wiki chat singing songs, don't you remember?

SolaceEaSw: I think I better be heading out, you seem to be handling it

Thewolvesden: Now listen, I just need to copy your Discord profile, and when I send in a report we'll make sure to get you to a doctor. Everything is going to be alright

United Republic: No, you listen! I'm not the crazy one here

United Republic: Solace, can you get me to the TSPTF? I need to talk to MP

Thewolvesden: Will you please calm down, before I put you in jail

United Republic: Andy will you listen to me? It's this person, Clarence, he's the troll here. He says he's an angel and is trying to hack me!

Thewolvesden: sigh I hate to do this to you

Just before Andy could click on UR's username, the chat was suddenly filled from one side to the other with the first three pages of Fellowship of the Ring. Andy completely forgot about UR and turned his attention towards this unexpected dump of spam. He frantically scrolled up the chat to locate the user responsible to put him immediately in jail.

Clarence: RUN WILL RUN.

UR managed to slip out of the chat and close out of Discord, before Andy could get the chance of copying his profile. He was entirely focused against Clarence at this point, however, who he selected and slapped on with the “jail” role. Once in jail, however, Clarence was immediately determined to find his way to escape.

Clarence: Help! Joseph, Help!

Thewolvesden: Will you shut up?

Clarence: Oh, Joseph! Help! Joseph!

Before Andy could finish typing his next message, Clarence immediately vanished from the jail. No sign or notification of him losing the role or even quitting the server, but every trace of him had disappeared as if he was never there in the first place. As Andy and Solace witnessed this miraculous display, they had no reaction for several seconds but to just stare in amazement.

Thewolvesden: What happened? Did he leave? He was right here

SolaceEaSw: I am not… nearly high enough for this

Thewolvesden: Well where did he go? Can you at least help me look?

UR frantically searched back through the Wiki, and felt that at this point he only had one person left he could possibly trust, the person who raised him from just a small anon. First he opened the talk page for the TSPTF, but was further frustrated by not finding MP listed anywhere on it. Finally, he looked back at the list of “Admins Emeritus” and found MP listed as long since retired, replaced in his office by Scraw. UR opened up his user page, and steadily started a private chat thread while his hands were still trembling. When MP finally answered after a full minute, his tone and outlook seemed to have once again become unrecognizable. No longer was MP the patient, upbeat and reliable persona that UR had always remembered, but his demeanor had now changed to one of a tired and frustrated man filled with years of regret.

Monster Pumpkin: Who is this?

United Republic: MP…

Monster Pumpkin: Speaking. What do you want

United Republic: MP, this is Will… I thought for sure you'd remember me

Monster Pumpkin: Will who? If you need me to unban someone, I've long since retired

United Republic: MP… MP please help me… Something terrible has happened to me, and I really don't know what's going on. Something strange has happened to everyone, and I just need someone to help me get through it. Can you please talk to me until I can get over it?

Monster Pumpkin: Get over what? I don't just randomly help strangers unless they are recommended by somebody I know

United Republic: Well, I know everyone you do. I know your friend LL

Monster Pumpkin: You know LL?

United Republic: Of course I do!

Monster Pumpkin: Ok, when did you last speak to him?

United Republic: Today on the Wiki

Monster Pumpkin: That's a lie. He's been banned from the wiki since his timeline got deleted years ago. And if you ask me, you belong there too

Before UR had even finished reading this response, MP closed the channel and kicked him out of his DMs. UR just sat back and stared in stunned horror at what just happened, the last person he could trust just slamming the door in his face. His heart now sinking through the floor, UR opened the Wiki chat again, not yet brave enough to go back to Discord. Clarence was already on the chance waiting for him.

Clarence: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives, and when he isn't around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?

UR's heavy breathing started to slow, strangely calmed by Clarence's sheer pleasant atmosphere. He was determined to still use some semblance of logic of how to get out of this bizarre world Clarence had imprisoned him.

United Republic: I think I've heard of things like this. You've got me under some kind of spell… or something

United Republic: Well, I'm going to get out of it, I'll promise you that. I know how

United Republic: The last person I talked to before this all started was Sky

Clarence: Do you know how to contact him?

United Republic: I know what his timeline is, I can work from there. He launched it out of the Republic Academy

UR scanned through the URLs on the Wiki activity, until he found what should have been the main page of Sky's community timeline. He grabbed the address and pasted it in chat, so both himself and Clarence could see it together. However, once again this wasn't the page that UR expected to see. Instead of a timeline, the page was now titled “Memoria of Departed Users”. The page was a solemn shrine, flatly listing userpages of Wiki contributors who have since become inactive, missing, or (in some extreme cases) presumed dead.

Clarence: Are you sure this is the page?

United Republic: Meh, I'm not sure of anything anymore. But I do know this should be Sky's timeline. Where is it??

Clarence: You weren't here to make it for him.

These kind of memoriums were not uncommon across the Wiki, or even the Internet in general, as a kind of mausoleum for departed digital footprints. But as UR's eyes scanned down the list of users, he remained horrified as he recognized name after name from across his memories of map games, contests, and other precious moments. One name in particular almost made UR's stomach bend over in knots to read:


 * User:Centrist16 In beloved memory

Clarence: Your friend Centrist killed himself after repeated parent abuse shortly after joining the Wiki.

United Republic: Stop lying!! Centrist went to Conworlds and fought in the Crony War. He was commemorated by the California State Police! He saved every user on Altverse!

Clarence: Everyone on Altverse died, or left the wiki. Centrist wasn't there to save them because you weren't there to save Centrist.

Clarence: Don't you see, Will? You've had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to throw it all away?

United Republic: Clarence…

Clarence: Yes, Will?

United Republic: Where's Upvote?

Clarence: Oh, well, I can't,

United Republic: I don't know how you know all these things, but can you please tell me where she is?

Clarence: I… I…

UR was growing more and more uncomfortable with this reluctance. He grabbed his PC and began shaking it.

United Republic: If you know where she is, you have to tell me, PLEASE

Clarence: I'm not supposed to tell.

United Republic: I'm getting sick and tired of you all! Please tell me where Becca is!

Clarence: You're not going to like it, Will.

United Republic: WHERE?

Clarence: She's an old maid. She never dated anyone.

United Republic: Where's Becca? Where is she???

Clarence: She's in the art channel, just about to close out her Deviant Art.

UR dropped his PC with a loud thud on his desk, as his fingers flew into action to access the art channel. Clarence was once again left alone, silently wondering just how long it will take before Will gets this life lesson through his skull.

Clarence: There's got to be an easier way for me to get those wings.

Upvote was just minding her own business on the public, largely dark and inactive chat. A quiet and secluded soul, she had barely anyone on the wiki worth talking to at this point, let alone open up her insecurities to. Little did she expect to be suddenly accosted by a stranger.

United Republic: Upvote!

She continued about her business, ignoring the chat as much as possible. The amount that she has had to deal with online predators is more than she would like to think about.

United Republic: Upvote! Upvote!

UpvoteAnthology: I'm sorry, do I know you?

United Republic: Up, it's Will! Don't you know me? What's happened to us?

UpvoteAnthology: I don't you know, I'm sorry

UpvoteAnthology: Please let me go, you're scaring me

United Republic: Up, please, I beg you don't do this do me

United Republic: Please help me, Becca. Where are our adopted users? I need you, please, help me, Becca!

UpvoteAnthology: No… I don't know you… please leave me alone :(

While he was trying to still process what was going on, UR's train of thought was rudely interrupted by a incessant pounding on his locked door, much louder than last time. The man formally known as UR's roommate has returned in person, but left behind all his temper and patience.

“Hey! asshole, this isn't your room. I'm calling campus security! Open this door now or I'll break it down!”

Following that ultimatum, the pounding on the door became more regular and concentrated on the bolt and knob. He was clearly not going away until either he had broken through, or the police shows up. Meanwhile, the altercation between UR and Up had now escalated into a full spectacle, and the chat activity picked up with the intervention of several known users and multiple chat mods.

United Republic: Upvote… please

United Republic: Becca, please, don't run away

Willster22: Can we please get a mod to intervene here?

77topaz: Someone's seriously asking for a ban

Firesofdoom: Is this another TFOE raid?

UpvoteAnthology: Can someone please stop this guy harassing me?

United Republic: Topaz, Fires, Will! You don't understand… that's my girlfriend

UpvoteAnthology: Your WHAT??

United Republic: Becca…

Thewolvesden: Ok, whoever you are, that is quite enough

This was it. This was the end of UR's rope. No longer was he stuck in a state of disbelief or denial of this bizarre world Clarence imprisoned him in. He had indeed gotten exactly what he asked for, a world where he was never born and never touched any of the lives of his friends, family or projects. All of his worst faults and failures, all of his mistakes he made in the last 24 hours paled in comparison to the dismal and depressing state of the Wiki without him entirely. A few hours ago, he thought his feeling of depression was caused by everyone pushing him towards isolation. Now, he realized he didn't know the meaning of the word: isolation. At this point, no matter what fate awaits him on the other side of this life, he only knew one thing now: that life is far too wonderful to lose. No amount of misfortune in that life could possibly be worse than this feeling he has without it. UR began screaming in chat for his guardian angel to save him.

United Republic: Clarence! CLARENCE! Where are you?

At that moment, UR heard a sudden bang as the bolt of his door was knocked clean off its screws, and the door was kicked open by his enraged former roommate. UR acted lightning fast. Shoving his computer back, UR leaped out of his chair and let his fist fly through the air, connecting a moment later in intruder's jaw. The head connected to the jaw flew backwards at a tremendous speed, smashing against the lip of the door behind him. Having fallen unconscious, the figure fell completely limp and collapsed on the ground, leaving a small stain of blood on the door's lip.

UR was gasping now, his adrenalin draining every ounce of strength from his body for that one decisive action. At this point, UR knew he only had seconds to act before the mods ban him completely from the wiki, and a few minutes before the police arrive to arrest him for assault and battery. UR frantically typed in chat his last, desperate plea for divine intervention. Andy was already in the process of intervening as UR was throwing out his cry for help.

United Republic: CLARENCE! CLARENCE!

United Republic: Clarence! Clarence, help me please, Clarence. Get me back

United Republic: Get me back, please. I don't care what happens to me anymore

United Republic: Get me back to my friends and family, please Clarence

United Republic: Help me, Clarence, please I just want to live again. I want to LIVE

United Republic: I want to live again. I want to live again. Please, God, just let me live

UR could no longer type anymore due to the tears fogging his vision, now pouring down his face. His head fell limp over his folded arms as he continued to sob, still whimpering the same plea he gave in chat over and over again. As he wept, he almost didn't notice the gust of wind signaled snowfall returning outside, bringing the weather back to the way it was just before this purgatory began. This soft meditation and remorse was eventually interrupted by a hand that gently manifested on UR's shoulder; a hand that belonged to UR's roommate.

“Hey… Will?” He breathed calmly, “Will! Are you alright?”

Alarmed, UR kicked his chair out from under him as he leapt to his feet, all while clenching his fist in self-defense. After all the shock and trauma he suffered in one day, UR's adrenalin and blood pressure had long since gone through the roof, all while having a wild look in his eyes.

“Hey, hey! What's the matter?”

“You better get out of her, or I'll hit you again! Get out!”

“Take it easy, will ya? What are you yelling for, Will?”

“Don't you… wait, Will?”

Stumbling forward, UR steadily poked at the figure in front of him, as if he had run into a ghost.

“Do… do you know me?”

“Know you? are you kidding? I've been worried sick since you haven't come out of your room all day. I saw you kicked the trash can and locked your door, and I was just thinking…”

His eyes started to dart down to the direction of UR's desk.

“Hey, what did you take one of the knives for? Are you sure you're alright?”

“The knife? Oh.. OH!”

UR's eyes followed his roommate's down to the desk, and saw it was now a mess of various papers, bills and policies strewn about chaotically around his computer, with the clean, shining knife on the desk. As he looked up, he saw that the door to his room had no bloodstain anywhere on the lip of the frame. His floor was once again covered in used, empty dishes and half-open textbooks, and his bed was now draped in a bright white comforter and sheets. Never, in UR's entire life on this planet, had he ever been so overjoyed to see a room this messy. As he next spoke, UR couldn't help but blurt out a hearty laughter.

“Hahaha! my desk is messy…” he stammered as a warm smile creeped up his face, “Do you see that! My desk is a filthy, wonderful mess! Hooray!”

His mind racing through the possibilities of what just happened, UR quickly dove back to his chair and checked his desktop.

“Driving's petals! Driving… they're… they are here!”

Indeed, to UR's wondering eyes appeared the same, simple texture file belonging to Driving's flower project, exactly as he had left it. Unable to hold himself back, UR stood back up and grabbed his roommate by the waist in a bear hug.

“How about that, huh? Merry Christmas!”

“Uhh, thanks?” he replied, only able to return the hug in a state of utter confusion.

Having finished his hug, UR pushed him aside and dashed out of the room. As he hoped and expected, he found the tell-tale wastebasket was once again knocked over with bits of paper, tissues and other trash strewed about the walkway. Still laughing and yelping for joy, UR did a pirouette and kicked some trash further ahead of him. His roommate, eyes shifting steadily left and right, still had no idea what to make of this sudden display of Christmas spirit, but whatever it is he wants no part of it. He slowly moved passed UR into the living room, then steadily backed his way out of the apartment and closed the front door behind him.

After the door was closed, UR spun around on his heels and dashed his way back to the computer in his room, chanting heartily to himself.

“Becca! Becca!”

He felt up the sides of his computer across his palms for a second, then seized the keyboard as he pulled up the Althistory wiki main page. To his amazement, the wiki page was all back to the way he remembered it, the same normal green and white theme with a globe banner background. No cronies, no scam sites, and all the same normal timelines and map games that he was comfortably familiar with. He immediately joined the Discord again, as he could not possibly contain his festive glee anymore.

United Republic: Hello, Althistory Wiki!!

United Republic: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Vivaporius: Merry Christmas (waving emote)

Nathan1123: Merry Christmas, UR :)

UR frantically searched through the wiki activity, checking up on every page that gave him such horrible experiences in the last couple of hours. To his sheer delight and awe, everything was exactly as he remembered it before he met Clarence: MP's page on the TSPTF, Sky's timeline, the Republic Academy, and best of all, his own timeline King of America. God had clearly given him a second chance, a new chance to live the life that he had so desperately asked for. First he had to endure the fruit of his foolish request to have never existed, but now he is privileged to live out in a world where his wish is not fulfilled. God had directed his life towards this Wiki, and from now on he knew to leave all such decisions in His hands.

United Republic: Merry Christmas, TSPTF!

United Republic: Merry Christmas, Viva!

United Republic: Merry Christmas, you wonderful old King of America!

Even Scraw at this point appeared on chat, along with a few other of his constable goons close behind. Although UR was not banned from the Wiki yet, Scraw had already informed the authorities to press charges on him for his copyright violations.

United Republic: Merry Christmas, @Scrawland Scribblescratch !

Scrawland Scribblescratch: And a happy new year to you, in prison. Go ahead and have your fun, the authorities are on their way

This of course was UR's cue to not waste any time. Time on earth was a precious gift from God, and UR swore that he would no longer waste a single moment of it, not ever again. He re-entered the same, old, modest décor of the King of America channel, but at this point UR did not care about its modesty. Even the broken sunglasses emote only made him squeal for joy. Not that UR liked a broken emotes or default textures, of course not, but such bugs could only prove that he was at last home, and no place on earth will give him the same kind of feeling as being in a home that is unmistakably his. Unsurprisingly, the chat was already occupied with a number of people needing to see him, some of which he did not recognize.

United Republic: Upvote! Upvote?

J. Carter: Mr. Republic

United Republic: Well, hello there, Mr. Wiki examiner

J. Carter: Mr. Republic, there is a discrepancy,

United Republic: I know. You want me to pay $8,000 right?

unknown user: Sir, I have some papers with me,

United Republic: Let me guess: it's a warrant for my arrest?

United Republic: Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to jail! Merry Christmas! (followed by some festive emotes)

A number of other, unfamiliar users start asking UR some questions for their blogs.

United Republic: Reporters here already? Where's Upvote?

United Republic: Upvote!

United Republic: Oh, look at this wonderfully drab old channel

United Republic: Upvote!!

United Republic: Has anyone seen Up?

At this point, the sheer activity of UR's posting caught the attention of his other adopted users, who had been praying at the channel all day.

Drafigo13: Merry Christmas, United!

United Republic: Kids!

At this point UR could no longer contain himself, spewing out a plethora of kissing and hugging emotes, with a healthy number of hearts in various colors.

United Republic: Draf, Kang, Atli! I could eat you all up LOL

United Republic: Have you seen Upvote?

EmperorKangxi: She went looking for you with LL

DrivingFan42: Merry Christmas.

United Republic: Driving, oh Driving my little gingersnap :))) how are you feeling?

DrivingFan42: Fine, now.

EmperorKangxi: Hasn't even had a snitch of temperature

United Republic: Not a snitch of temp, lol. Hallelujah!

It was at this moment that Upvote finally entered the scene. She was nervous and bewildered, clearly with more than a few things on her mind. All of those stresses washed away, however, laying eyes on one user she was looking for right in front of her. The other men, foreign to the wiki, could only stare on from their default avatars like frozen mannequins, either unwilling or unable to relate to the scene taking place.

UpvoteAnthology: Hello, guys

UpvoteAnthology: UR?! You're back!

United Republic: UPVOTE! Finally [followed by three hugging emotes]

UpvoteAnthology: UR, honey, where have you been?

UR could barely make audible sentences at this point, only spewing a variety of hugs, kisses, and hearts down the chat.

UpvoteAnthology: Oh Will, good to see you lol

United Republic: Becca! I wish I could touch you, are you real?

UpvoteAnthology: Yes! Now and forever

United Republic: You have no idea what's happened to me!

UpvoteAnthology: You have no idea what's been happening…

UpvoteAnthology: Well you better get ready. They are going to be here soon

United Republic: Alright, alright haha

UR tried his best to wait patiently for what was coming, but his excitement continued to build up as giddy as a child. All four of the younger users piled lovingly around him, playfully posting the occasional video or reaction GIF.

UpvoteAnthology: Come on, stay right here on this channel, and keep the VC channel open too. You stay right here and don't move, you understand? I can almost hear them coming lol

UpvoteAnthology: Oh Will, it's a miracle, a miracle! haha

UpvoteAnthology: Come in, LL. Everybody, pile on in!

Like a swarm of bees, UR saw wave after wave of users popped into the chat, nearly breaking the server with their sheer volume of use. Each and every user clamoring about were intimately familiar with UR, and vice versa, across his career on the Wiki. Each and every message was filled with the most festive and appropriate complements, before being shoved further up the chat history. And UR, shocked and speechless, only sat back and breathlessly sounded out each and every user that he immediately recognized. LL himself was leading the pack, who proceeded to paste a link to a GoFundMe page which he pinned to the channel.

LightningLynx: Isn't it wonderful? lol

LightningLynx: Up did it all, really. She DM'd a few people and told them you were in trouble, and they scattered all over the Internet looking for money. They didn't ask any questions, just said “if Will is in trouble, count on us”. You've never seen anything like it!

The link went to the most beautiful GoFundMe page you could possibly imagine. Of course, almost all such pages look the same, but for some reason UR's heart knew beyond a shadow of doubt that this one specific page was indescribably beautiful. The goal of the page was set to “$8,000.00”, but the amount of money in it already added up to well over $6,400, and continued to be climbing fast. Each specific donation, corresponding directly to each of the users currently on chat, was very small and amounted to a few dollars at a time, but the sheer volume of donations was quickly pumping more cash towards the funding goal in what seems to be a matter of minutes. As the chat settled down and organized themselves, the donations began to regularly correspond to whoever was currently wishing good will to UR at that very moment. UR was still stunned and unable to respond, being overwhelmed at what his eyes were telling him.

Firesofdoom: What's this, UR? Bankrupt your timeline again ;)

Willster22: Here you are, Will. Merry Christmas

SolaceEaSw: Alright, don't push each other. The line starts on the right

77topaz: More coming in, UR. Merry Christmas, and God bless :D

WarriorofFreedom: Thank you UR

The population on the chat then swelled in size again, as Sky led a new wave of users from his personal Facebook page. MP by this point had come up right to UR's side specifically, occasionally poking him to ensure his silence was caused only by positive and not negative feelings.

SolaceEaSw: Ah, Sky Merry Christmas! I was wondering when you would show up

SkyGreen24: I really broke open the piggy bank on this one

The chat erupted in a new ripple of laughter over Sky's unmistakable humor. Two new users entered the chat among the crowd of others, who were even more unexpected than anyone else so far.

SolaceEaSw: Nuke! You're here too?

NuclearVaccuum: I made the rounds on my checking accounts

United Republic: Candies!

Candiesrgood: I'm not going to go, Will. I changed my mind

NonsensicalJourney: I've been saving this money for a divorce, if I ever get married haha

CrimsonAssassin: There you are, UR. I got the TSPTF all out of bed

Falcon1221: My timeline wouldn't even exist without you, UR

SolaceEaSw: Alright everyone, just a minute. I just got an email from London. You're gonna want to hear this

SolaceEaSw: “Nuke texted me that you need cash. My office is instructed to loan you up to $25,000. LMAO and a Merry Christmas. Signed JoshTheRoman”

UR and his other contributors nearly dropped their jaws on the floor hearing this. Such generosity in even a general sense was completely unexpected, let alone an altruistic act of this magnitude. UR almost started to feel a new stream of tears on his face now, tears of utter joy and compassion. The rest of the users once again roared in a cheer as a wave of clapping emotes and clapping GIFs flew by the chat.

UpvoteAnthology: Alright, Sky. How about we break out the wine? Let's make this a real Christmas party

Both Kang and Orwell took to their respective instruments on the VC chat, and began belting out a classic rock rendition of “Silent Night”. Their performance was excellently on point, and served its purpose to further unwind the mood of crowd. Quickly enough, dozens upon dozens of users steadily appeared on various channels of the VC chat, with all their mics fully operational. Across the digital signals of a hundred clients requested by the single server, was carried a collective and harmonious chant as holy as any church ever consecrated. UR, MP, Up, and LL were all present in this chat as well, singing along as best they could while nearly choking on their own emotions. At last, it was this level of compassion that finally broke the spell over Mr. Carter and the other foreigners.

J. Carter: Ah, to heck with it. Here's my donation, Merry Christmas

unknown user: Looks like I accidentally deleted that warrant, after all

After making their own donations, both the Wiki admin, the police, and the bloggers all joined the VC as well, squeezing into the baritone section of the chorus. Just when it seemed things could not be any more momentous, Solace chimed in with yet another announcement.

SolaceEaSw: Centrist and the Conworlds admins are also here

Centrist, Travis, Sam and a number of other users appeared in the channel as well, bringing the chat to such density that users posts were just starting to lag. A few of the newcomers immediately made sure to join the VC chat, and join in the ongoing singing.

Centrist16: UR, you old son of a gun. How are you? :)

United Republic: Justin… it's you

Centrist16: Up, looks like I got here a little late

Thewolvesden: Up, I got him over here straight from the Conworlds Discord as quick as I could. The fool drove all the way back home in a blizzard

Monster Pumpkin: Justin, what about that banquet the police invited yu to?

Centrist16: Oh, I left right in the middle of it. Soon as I got Andy's message

SkyGreen24: Don't forget to down your vrhunsko

Centrist16: A good idea, Sky. I propose a toast… to my best friend, UR. The richest man in the whole Wiki

After a now-audible cheer ripped through the voice channels, the music played by Kang, Orwell, and other musicians shifted to a more lively tune taken from the final chorus of Handel's Messiah, which the users on VC were all more than willing to join in with. In the midst of this almost-euphoric experience, UR's concentration was interrupted by a notification of an email, which could also be heard in the VC at the same time. Curious, UR opened the email to find a scanned PDF copy of Lord of the Rings. In the first few pages was a handwritten note, that read:

“Dear Will, remember no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings, Love Clarence.”

Up and Driving, who overheard something going on, immediately wanted to inquire what it is that Will was reading.

UpvoteAnthology: What's that?

United Republic: A Christmas present, from a very dear friend of mine

At that moment, the digital clock in UR's apartment started chiming with synthesized sound of a bell, signaling that dawn was approaching for Christmas Morning.

United Republic: Look at that, the bells are ringing

DrivingFan42: My mom told me that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

After hearing these words from Driving, the biggest grin creeped its way across both sides of UR's tired face. After a quick but gentle glance up to heaven, he bowed down once more to type his message.

United Republic: That's right… that's right

United Republic: Attaboy, Clarence ;)

Across that hemisphere at the last hours of what could be called Christmas Eve, the air affected by electronic signals emanating from a hundred requests on a single server was filled with the warmest and grandest crescendo at the last of Handel's hallelujah's, coupled with digital clocks of every make and model striking out the final hour.

The End