User:SkyGreen24/Faux News Network/Archive

President Andrew charged for rape
President Andr3w777 has been accussed of rape and abuse of a minor. Known for his alchoholism, he was caught in bed with a bald eagle by an unknown person. Many of his Party members were disgusted by the act and his only comment was "She said she was eighteen.". Wether or not President Andrew will go to jail will be decided on the trial which is happening on the 25th of July 2014 at 8 a.m. although there has been speculations that the President will attempt to bribe the young bald eagle whose identity has been hidden.

Edboy452 wishes to start a world war
Recently taking up the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth in the hit map game Principia Moderni III the ethnic Romanian Ed has already started schemes for a world war. Sources state that the purchase of Danzig (Gdansk) was a foul move to separate Prussia from the HRE. Recently Edboy has denied to answer any further questions.

Reximus55; Diarrhea, Religion and Politics
Recently, (in)famous user Reximus55 has been diagnosed with a sever case of diarrhea. Close friends say that he has achieved an enlightenment on the toilet and is making preparations to create his own Christian denomination based on Capitalism, Isolationism and American Patriotism. His fellow Centrists are worried as this might cause the Centrist party to lose its leader and founder and therefore its influence.

Local Mafia Boss turns into Aeroplane, falls in love with Tortoise
Recently, the wikian known as the Local Mafia Boss has transformed into a local aeroplane which caught the eye of an Ugly Turtle. The romance sparked between the two, although after a two day session of non-stop sexual activities the turtle passed out, causing the aeroplane to crush him. The funeral for the tortoise, or what is left of it, will occur on the 26th of July 2014 at 5 p.m. on the wikia's graveyard.

Edgeofnight becomes anarchist
The user known as Edgeofnight has in an interview stated that he wishes for the downfall of his his country's government, wishing to create an anarchy. Quality sources state that he is already making plans for releasing his wrath onto the US, although his current whereabouts are unknown as he went incognito after he informed the wiki about his opinions.

The Pictures covered in Sky
Breaking news, Skygreen is caught red handed molesting a picture of Josef Stalin. After further investigation it is found out that it is not his first picture. Under his bed are found pictures of Lenin, Trotsky, Pol Pot and Mao as well. Sky’s only comment on the topic is “Oh yeah, that’s my fetish.” No charges are expected to be filed. However, his fellow comrades are making sure he has no pictures of President Andrew. President Andrew, embroiled in his own scandal, declined to comment.

Muslims, cupcakes and Israel
Viva plots the overthrow of Israel using cupcakes and Muslims. Sources say that he has been using Princeton papers to find a way to make Muslims out of cupcakes. Faux News will reach out to Viva, we will keep you updated with the latest.

Toby-The Enemy of Europe?
On wiki chat today, the user toby expressed heavy anti-euro sentiments he said “I am very anti Europe, and want to watch as they are raped and mauled while I sip Rakija.” Toby also confirmed today that he desires to invade Bulgaria as a part of a bid to turn Europe into a Croatian amusement park. Toby also is allegedly in a relationship with a bear named Wolf.

Breaking news!
Earlier this morning, Edgeofnight sneezed, 72 died, 51 were turned into Aliens from the planet Uranus. Edge of Night is bed-ridden, his plans to create anarchy in the US are postponed. He claims the hooker Candy gave him a rare alien form of AIDS. Faux News tried to contact Candy but found him dead at the hands of some freak with a nipple fetish. More on that story later.

So sayeth the eagle
The identity of the President’s sugar eagle has been revealed. The one and only fascist eagle; EiplecOco. “I thought he was legal! I swear!” says president Andrew about the eagle. And EiplecOco’s only comment was: “I’ll see you in court.”. The President shall be represented by one of wikia’s finest lawyers, SkyGreen24, while the identity of Eiplec’s lawyer is currently unknown.

Twinkle twinkle little star, make sure Fed doesn't know where you are
Long time wiki contributer, Fedelede was caught recently with various objects shaped in a star, when inquired, he replied that it was nothing and no big deal, sources however confirm that it might be a deep seated physiological attachment, or fetish even, for stars. Allegedly, according to lead psychologist, Chairman Meow, Feds obsession with stars stems from Fed's sexually frustrated life and longtime worship of LG. It is assumed that Fedelede has a secret and arguably unhealthy fixation on LG, the star of the wiki and the Great God of all, Praise be on Him. More on this story later.

Poll Archive
25 July 2014