User blog:GunsnadGlory/Bad Jokes

Irregular Verbs
Have you guys noticed something about some irregular verbs in the English language?

Take the verb 'to be crazy'

I am independently minded

You are eccentric

He belongs in a padded cell.

Or 'to be a thief'

I am resourceful

You are dubious in your methods

He is a filthy thief.

'to be nice'?

I am a good person

You are a bit soft

He is a total pushover.

'to be a liar'

I am imaginative

You are economical with truth

He is a liar.

'to be stupid'

I am pure

You are simple

He is an idiot.

Names
Have you guys noticed how well politician's are named?

John Major was, well, fairly minor.

Bismarck made a mark.

Churchill was Churchillian, Victoria was Victorian, Edward was Edwardian.

And I don't think we need to go into Anthony Wiener.

Best Joke of the Week

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink, for half an hour.

Then a big trucker comes up to him for a bet, takes his drink and chugs it.

The man starts to cry, so the trucker, now feeling guilty, offers to buy him a drink.

The man shakes his head and says "No, that's alright. I'm just having a bad day. First I sleep in, and come to work late, so my outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building, I find out my car's been stolen. The police say they can't do anything. I flag down a cab, then realize my wallet, cash, cards, and all, has been taken.

I walk home, and some idiot splashes me while driving by. As I'm walking, I get a text from the bank telling me that I'm behind on my mortgage payments and that they will foreclose my house if I don't pay up.

I get home, and find my wife in bed with my best friend.

I come to the bar, thinking about ending it all, and here you come and drink my poison!"

And Now the Worst Joke of the Week!
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the other... ummm....