Template:Db-g7 What if history were funny?

What if all major events since the year 1800 turned out to be quite entertaining?

Well, here we find out.


  1. I'm writing a page based on this, so if you help a bit there, that would be very much appreciated.
  2. Whatever you post must be both funny and realistic. If it's not, it's getting deleted (sorry).
  3. It goes from the 1st of January 1800, and continues right up until whatever the hell date you're reading this.
  4. Everything must have a precise date.
  5. Don't colonize space.
  6. Try to write some sort of live feed if it gets to the present day.


February - A strange cold resistant strain of marijuana gets into Canada and spreads like a weed (pardon the pun), the Canadian population quickly capitalizes on their new found "weed", they quickly pass into law the "Cannabis Act 1800" which bans all tax on marijuana in the country.

May - Napoleon's soldiers decide it would be quite entertaining to kick Napoleon off his horse while crossing the Alps. Napoleon is dead.

April/October - Alexander Hamilton is elected president through Benjamin Franklin putting his name on the ballot as a joke.

November - People thought it would be funny to be anarchist and burn down all of London.


January - Luxembourg sends soldiers to conquer all of Belgium, the Netherlands, France, and Prussia, as well as their overseas Empires. Luxembourg is now the most powerful nation on earth.

February - The exiled king of Prussia pimp-slaps the entire population of Luxembourg. They hand back his territory.

Stalin comes back in time with half of the NKVD and declares control of the USA.

March- Stalin sells the Luxembourgish army PPSH-41s.

November- An anarchist revolution takes over Spain.

December- Stalin decides to get a more American name; he is now Bobby Hamilton.


January- Former president Alexander Hamilton declares Stalin a "poser", who is so ashamed by this he goes back to Soviet Russia along with the NKVD members.

February- An interstellar trading consortium (the Johnson & Johnson Textiles Marketing Division) consisting of the Grays, Wookies, and the colors Indigo, Magenta, and Strawberry Blond stage a landing on Svalbard in order to capture samples of polar ice for use in a super-thin condom.

July- The Great Bovine Revolution of '02 begins in England and Vermont.

December- China is taken over by a man afflicted with dwarfism, who is only 2 feet tall.

December-Jesus Christ appears in Luxembourg.


January-The CEO of Johnson & Johnson, the Color Magenta, is overthrown by Jesus Christ.

Some Random Thursday-Bavaria is invaded by Chuck Norris.

March-Bavaria is renamed Norristan with its Supreme Emperor Chuck Norris.

The Bovine Revolution ends with a new Country, Bovistan, gaining Scotland, The Isle of Man, Vergennes, VT ("The smallest city in America!"), Cape Cod, Temple, NH, Wales, and my Grandmother's House.

April-The Chinese make metal armored ships, then invades Korea, Japan, and the Ngyuan dynasty and completely annexes them, all in one day.

August-Jesus Christ is proven to be an imposter. He is then roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris to Mars.

The Color Magenta is found murdered in Dundee, Scotland.

Barry Finklestein, a gray alien, is the new CEO of Johnson & Johnson.

October-A mutant crab pirate, dubbed Captain Crabcakes, begins pirate raids around China.
Cpt crabcakes

Captain Crabcakes

'December'-The Luxembourgish Civil War starts.


March-The Luxembourgish Civil War ends with East and West Luxembourg formed. Some German states are liberated.

The Alemannic Empire is formed from Prussia and other liberated German states.

June-The Associated Neighborhoods of New York or A.N.o.N.Y. for short is proclaimed in New York City.

July-The United States develops a new musket that shoots musket balls with mad cow disease in them, they use these guns to take back Massachusetts.

October -Russia colonizes Alaska because, in the immortal words of Alexander II (who is in power through some means), "Because, we can....and now, we did". All of Russia throws a year-long party of merriment and joyfulness. They also smoke some of the Canadian "weed" to see what all the hub-bub is about.......needless to say, cannabis is now legal.


Eddie the Pig with his universal control remote fast-forwards through 1805 so nothing happens.


January-Mass suicide occurs because of the fast-forwarding.

Another Stalin from the future comes to prevent the original from killing himself.

Eddie the pig is found, tried and hung.


After the slave trade act is introduced into the UK, banning the slave trade from Africa, the population of the UK decides that, instead of using black Africans, they'll use short people instead. People under five feet in height are immediately rounded up.


Ludwig van Beethoven dies halfway through his Fifth Symphony after the piano collapses on top of him.


The state of Rhode Island secedes from the Union, saying it was sick of the whiny ass President Thomas Jefferson.


Napoleon in a fit of power madness declares himself 'king of the world' King George III orders a large naked bottom painted on the white cliffs of Dover in reply.

Furthermore, Napoleon added to his previous declaration, becoming, "king of the world, on a boat like Leo".


Aliens land at Kew Gardens in London; King George III shoots them all thinking they are geese.


Instead of declaring war on the British the US government accidentally declares war on King George III personally. King George III responds by sending a letter to Congress telling them he didn't know they liked him so much and that they may kiss his ample royal backside.


Jane Austin releases her book Pride and extreme prejudice about fighting at the royal court.


The Pope decides that the Gregorian calendar should be returned to the Julian calendar, meaning that there are 12 15th's of September.


The Pope decides that the Julian calendar is a stupid idea and returns to the Gregorian calendar and the 10th to 22nd of July no longer exist this year.


Somebody from a parallel dimension thought it would be funny to reverse everything. CD notgnihsaW becomes the capital of the aciremA fo setatS detinU.


Order to the multiverse is restored. Washington DC is restored as the capital of the United States of America

The United Republic of Canuckistan is formed.


England goes into civil war

Ireland gets its independence.

With Ireland's new found independence, the Irish technocracy introduces prohibition to stop civil unrest and establishes government police division to burn down Hops. Public outcry raged in Dublin and all major cities as the Irish people wished to return to British rule and re-establish beer import with England.


In the English Civil War, the sides have developed into two sides: the Tall People's Alliance and the Shorties United.

Kerosene is discovered to be a refreshing drink, and soon becomes the latest craze in French culinary as a sweetener. 23 out of 29 million French people are dead from kidney and liver failure.

Unstoppable French boning centuples the population, but because of their low genetic heritage they are all psychotic male albinos; French women are extinct.

Finland declares its independence, and invades Sweden, Russia, Brazil, Prussia, and China.

That's not really funny, its just ridiculous. Seriously, come on!

Canada purchased the United States since the U.S was $2.6 trillion in debt to the Canadians for buying Canadian marijuana. The Americans were easily convinced, since they were still half baked when the deal was proposed. They are now AmeriCanadians.


The new AmeriCanadians finally come out of the drug haze and realize they've been screwed by the Canadians, but the Canadians offer a huge amount of dope free and the possible rebellion is squashed.


Napoleon Bonaparte declares himself King of Scotland and in orders sent to Edinburgh he asks for a half mile deep, half mile wide trench to be dug along the entire Scotland/England border, destroying the existing fort.


Napoleon dies in May of poisoning by Kerosene on St Helena, his favorite dog Boo-boo becomes the next King of Scotland.

Napoleon died like 20 years ago.


The King of England slaps an AmeriCanadian. The AmeriCanadian apologizes for hurting the King's hand.

April 14 - Boo-boo orders his royal subjects to build a bridge between Ireland and Scotland, with fancy light bulbs. Boo-boo buys Canada, which includes USA.

November 17- Boo-boo is overthrown by a revolution and replaced by Mr. Fluffy or Napoleon's cat.

November 18- Mr. Fluffy chokes to death. Polly Napoleon's parrot is crowned emperor.

November 19th- France is now annexed by Austria-Hungary after Polly is bribed with a cracker.

Sometime- someone from the future kills the Luxembourg presidents and the governments become in exile.

December 5th- Italy invades the European parts of Luxembourg Not funny, though possible, so that's even worse.


Chuck Norris travels back in time by rubbing his beard three times anticlockwise.

Godzilla challenges Chuck Norris and wins, Godzilla then walks away after pooping on the Eiffel tower and then fights a Dalek invasion. Davros pees his pants as a result.


Chuck Norris regains his strength and decides to swim south and then tow Antarctica north to the Equator to make a new holiday home for himself.


Chuck Norris arrives at the Equator with Antarctica and builds his holiday home with the help of penguins.


With Antarctica now at the Equator, the ice melts and floods the world; refugees from around the world arrive on Chuck Norrisland.


Chuck Norrisland becomes the most populous nation on earth.


Godzilla and Al Gore team up to kill Chuck Norris, needless to say the world is restored and Chuck Norris is dead. Al Gore becomes "The Man"


Zippy reveals his intention to legalize abortion, which Fireman Sam disapproves of.


Bob The Builder & Handy Manny have a huge fight over who ripped off whom. Godzilla intervenes & wins.

The day June 10th is missing. It is found in July hiding in Bilbao, Spain.


In Chuck Norrisland civil war breaks out between factions - one of whom believes that Chuck Norris was the second coming of Christ, the other side believes him to have been the new Buddha.


The USA suddenly appears again!

In the U.S.A. a civil war begins between people who say America, Amurica, Ameerica, Michigan, Amorica, and Am'urka.


Watatsuki no Toyohime kicks out the Chinese that were occupying Japan. She then becomes empress of Japan, re-naming it into Toyotomi Japan. Afterward, she then writes a note to China that if they dare to invade Japan again, she will stuff their government into a small jail, filled with jelly doughnuts, as well as selling most of their land to Nepal, which remained shrouded in mystery.

Meanwhile, Romania declares independence and adopts Dragostea din tei by O-zone (that was brought to them by time machine) as their new anthem. The government of Romania orders it to be played really loud so the whole world can hear it.

Karl Marx appears in Madrid and hangs himself.


A legion of Ewoks with Roman uniforms appear in Sweden under Emperor Chirpa.

Emperor Chirpa finds instructions to make a Dreadnought (from OTL1920). He builds 60 of them and raids Finland, Iceland and Paris (he put legs on them) O.

Michigan wins the USA civil war. Indiana secedes from Michigan to create the Empire of Mexico.

Some guy named Oscar Wilde creates Uncyclopedia and uses it to inspire Sophia to make sex.


Watatsuki no Toyohime purchases the Russian Far East from Russia, and as payment, gives them vodka in return. This made all the Russian people too drunk, as well as making them dance the Kazatsky. Mongolia and Korea all start to laugh at Russia.

Meanwhile, Macau declares independence, and takes most of far Eastern China, from Hainan all the way to Shanghai; as well as renaming it the 'Empire City of Macau'. To show their power, they build Lamborginis, McLaren F1s, Pagani Zonda and the Ferraris that they stole from time traveling. The also pass a law that bans all the police departments from chasing cars.

Romania renames their country to O-zone, in honour of the popular song, Dragostea din tei. This causes the real O-zone to move to Europe but is broken a second later due to the song continually playing. Most of North Africa becomes frozen solid.

Emperor Chirpa takes Iceland, Maine, Paris, and Finland, and of course Scandinavia.


The Empire City of Macau decides to build 密卡登 (Translation:Megaton). It is successful, though 密卡登 quickly escapes and invades Greenland, to build a portal and GLaDOS. Cake does not exist any more.

Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to ban Macanese products and she also bans the word 'Macau' in Toyotomi Japan. She also changes the meaning of 'マカオ' to mean '悪' (which means evil). Toyotomi Japan now officially sees Macau as a fictional country, and evil.

Cirno and Letty Whiterock try to fight 密卡登, but 密卡登 turns them into pure water by using the flag of Spain. At the same time, Spain sinks underwater. Portugal celebrates and takes over all of Spain's colonies and possessions as well as making them speak Portuguese. Spanish language is no more.

O-Zone (Romania) coins the term 'climate change'. It means "a climate that's nestled between calm Pacific waters and majestic mountains, as well as capturing secrets and treasures of many past civilizations". However, they decide to change the definition of 'climate change' to 'Salut! Sunt eu, un haiduc' (Translation: Hello! I am an outlaw).


Jesus (the real one this time) comes back to life and screams at the Leader of Canada until he blows up. He then calls a cab to take him to Alpha Centauri for dinner.

Jesus' brother, Mark, comes back to life and follows Jesus.

The Ewoks discover drugs. While high, they take over Massachusetts.

Eddie the pig's ex-wife becomes a necromancer and moves to Brazil.

A rampage of cows stampede through Texas and Mexico.


Everyone on the Yucatan finds a bottle of Heinekin in their hands and they all drink it.

A blond old Chihuahua named Pedro names himself the emperor of Mexico.

Pedro forms an army of fiercely loyal Chihuahuas to take over Mexico in the name of the Chihuahuan Empire.

A drunk guy in a time machine lands on top of a British ship.


Nothing even remotely interesting happened this year except for the fact it never existed.


Tabloids are invented.

I.B.M. comes back in time and annexes Zululand.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to give Russia more vodka. The leader of Russia drinks the Vodka. All of OTL Russia except the OTL Russian Far East blows up and sinks. The Russian Ocean forms.

Borat appears in OTL Kazakhstan and says "This is all very nice". Borat becomes leader of Kazakhstan and gets huge money in tourist sites thanks to the Russian Ocean.

The Empire City of Macau sells a MacLaren F1 to Laos. Laos becomes broken due to the sheer speed of the MacLaren.

O-Zone (Romania) plays the Dragostea din tei song even louder. 密卡登 is blown up due to the song's loudness. No one is safe from the Dragostea din tei.

IBM builds random towers and invades Gibraltar. They win. Now they have Gibraltar.


Watatsuki no Toyohime sets the reset button on China. The Song Dynasty re-appears, and starts to sing "もう歌しか聞こえない" (Translation: Deaf to all but the Song). The new anthem fits quite well in Song Dynasty, Toyotomi Japan is entertained.

The Empire City of Macau is annoyed by the Song. Macau builds a shield all over its lands to prevent any songs from entering in. Music becomes banned in the Empire City of Macau except for Techno and Rock.

Aya Shameimaru, a Russian Vodkaist, accidentally breaks her camera after tripping on her shoelace. Because of this, huge thunder-storms fall all over North America, and causing great destruction no one has ever seen before.

Romania's tourism increases, due to people trying to command them to stop. Dragostea din tei continues to play and crushes any rebellion from happening in Romania.

The Ottoman Empire starts to turn frozen solid due to having land in already frozen solid North Africa.

John McCain is born.

The Great Union Of Randomly Picked Countries From Around The Globe And Other Places That Will Dominate Everyone, more commonly known as the GUORPCFATGAOPTWDE, is created from the remnants of the WE FAIL empire on Easter Island. They secure the southern third of the island and ask for a peace treaty with the squirrels

A banana republic named AAAAAAAAA in the Caribbean invents the language of AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Though practically indecipherable, the one-letter alphabet is a hit in the surrounding area, including sharks, anglerfish and birds.


The United Nation forms and it immediately outlaws the use of the words: the, and, is, was, were, I, and but.

Cirno comes back to life and takes over Greenland and becomes a Baker And Kills Apples (BAKA, also known as ⑨ or バカ). Sweden becomes offended because baka in Japanese means idiot, while in the Swedish language it means bake. The Swedes complain to other countries how they ripped off their words.

Watatsuki no Toyohime announces that they will stay out of a "Supranational Organisation", and Toyotomi Japan shuts down their borders to all except for Song China, which is a Japanese Puppet State as well as their main entertainment.

The Empire City of Macau poses a ban on the English Language because it's over-rated (except for Foreign Minister). 與此同時,澳門得到了新的領導人,魂魄妖夢。 (Foreign Minister Genghis Khan translates for those who can't read Traditional Chinese: "Meanwhile, Macau gets a new leader, Youmu Konpaku")

Mystia Lorelei, new leader of Song China, proposes plans to rebuild the government buildings to Opera Houses and Music Festivals. It is carried out.

Meanwhile, Turkey (country) declares independence and is no longer frozen solid. A second later, Turkeys (animal) declare war and take over Turkey (country). Turkey (country) adopts 'Gobble' as the official language. The Turkeys also make the Turks speak only gobble. Turkish language is no more, being replaced by some animal noise.

Not only that, Georgia (the country, საქართველო) annexes all other Georgias in the world. Georgia (the country, საქართველო) also controls all of them and make them all speak the Georgian Language (ქართული ენა).

The US breaks up again into sovereign states. All former states declare war on Massachusetts.

AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA from the nation of AAAAAAA writes an epic story called AAAAAAA AAA AAAAAA. It spawned the famous quote 'AAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AA AA AA AAA AA AA'.


Borat adopts a new anthem for Kazakhstan. He then renames Kazakhstan to "The Greatest Country Republic of Kazakhstan."

Watatsuki no Toyohime closes all of Toyotomi Japan's harbours until further notice. However, they still get trades from their Puppet Entertainment State, Song China.

An Ostrich (Austria) becomes Hungry (Hungary), and both eat up Romania. The German and Hungarian version of Dragostea din tei is created. The original, German, and Hungarian version of Dragostea din tei start to play around the world.

Mystia Lorelei blocks all music coming from Europe, saying "it ruins the climate. Think about the climate!!". Song China is saved from the Dragostea din tei. Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to do the same with Toyotomi Japan.

魂魄妖夢決定禁止所有警察局在帝國城澳門。不久,澳門將成為最安全的地方在世界上。 魂魄妖夢決定改變一個麥克拉倫 F1,不順心的事... ... (Foreign Minister Genghis Khan translates the above: "Youmu Konpaku decides to ban all police stations in the Empire City of Macau. Soon, Macau becomes the safest place in the world. Youmu Konpaku then decides to alter a McLaren F1, something goes wrong...")


邁凱輪 F1的速度和力量的一項進步的時間。閒來無事今年發生。 (Foreign Minister Genghis Khan still translate above!!: "McLaren F1 speeds and forces an advancement in time. Nothing else happen this year.")


邁凱輪 F1 speeds by, nothing happens. Empire City of Macau's laws become defunct due to the sheer speed of the McLaren F1 passing and forcing advancement in time.


McLaren F1 continues to force time advancement. The Empire City of Macau loses some of its buildings.


McLaren F1 passes by this year, Empire City of Macau is tearing apart.


McLaren F1 tears apart and explodes thanks to Youmu Konpaku's altering of the car for making it force the work to go 4 years in advance. The Empire City of Macau collapses and becomes destroyed due to the sheer speed of time and plus it skipped 4 years in time.

Watatsuki no Toyohime becomes ill due to the advancement in time. She will return to power in 1851. Meanwhile, Koishi Komeiji steps into power of Toyotomi Japan as substituting/Acting Emperor. Koishi Komeiji suggests that any one still interested in going back in time to cause havoc in years 1845, 1846, 1847, and 1848 may freely do so and will not affect anything.

Song China annexes all of former Empire City of Macau. Mystia Lorelei poses a ban on McLaren F1s in the country.

Youmu Konpaku goes into exile setting up a government in Korea. Korea then absorbs the exile government and grows stronger.

The fast speed in time did not affect German, Hungarian, and original version of Dragostea din tei in any way. Austria-Hungary-Romania continue to play all of them.

A Flock of Seagulls ran so far away and soon Tehran was proclaimed capital of Iran which in turn is the capital of ItRan, which in return is proclaimed the capital of Theyran.

The Chihuahua army under Pedro is given drugs to make them fight harder, it works and they control Mexico within the year. The new capital is Chihuahua and the new national anthem is "All hail Pedro you Bastards.


Koishi Komeiji decides to build the tallest building in the world, it is named "Built Fuji" (Japanese:富士を内蔵). Toyotomi Japan gets a world record for it, however, instead, Koishi Komeiji earns the world record of being "the most scariest person". She took it as a compliment. New Zealand sinks like the Titanic as a result.

Mystia Lorelei passes a law to make police stations legal again. Police Chases are on the rise as new entertainment and action.

Aya Shameimaru buys a new camera. Because of this, later, North America gets hit by Typhoon Vladimir Putin. It was a Category 7 storm and had caused a whole lot of flooding. North America is renamed Dutch Vodka by Aya Shameimaru and her Russian Friends.

The original, German, Hungarian versions of Dragostea din tei becomes a superpower. Austria-Hungary-Romania soon follows this.


Watatsuki no Toyohime becomes Emperor of Toyotomi Japan, and promotes Koishi Komeiji to a Prime Minister. Part of New Zealand returns above water, but turns frozen solid a second later.

Mystia Lorelei bans Grills and Ovens as they are deemed 'overly pure evil'. Micro-waves shrink in size. Song China also exports all their grills and ovens to North Africa.

Typhoon Putin the Vladimir (no relation to the last Typhoon) slams into Chile. Soon, most of Chile becomes frozen solid. Romania and their song shatters into pieces. The world is saved from Dragostea din tei.

Aya Shameimaru purchase the nation of AAAAAAA and renames it to あああああああ! She then sells the island for free, and is taken over by Boxing Kangaroos from Australia a second later.

The Boxing Kangaroos of AAAAAAAAAA is established.

The quad-cycle is invented. It is nicknamed the 'car'.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to fund a construction company, Hyundai, to build a Bridge from Kyoto to Middle Earth. Meanwhile, Koishi Komeiji plans invasions to a bunch of islands in the Pacific.

Mystia Lorelei coins the term 'term'. It means "variety of cultures and influenzas come together". Song China makes the definition official.

Aya Shameimaru conquers and takes over the Kodak company. She renames the company to Putin Vodka. Her Russians Friends help her run the business, and it becomes a Casino. Donald Trump summons the Trump (instrument) and accidentally says "You're fried!". All of Turkey (country) is cooked as a result.

The IKEA invasion of Sweden begins.

1st recorded use of weedwhackers in warfare. The weed-whacker/chainsaw combo, better known as the Chainwhacker or the Weedsaw, is invented./

Pedro gets drunk and invents the electric guitar.

A drunk guy from OTL comes and shoots Eddy the Pig's ex-wife.


Eco-Communism is invented.

The Term "Cooked your goose" is coined" by Eduardo McBatshit who proceeds to shoot himself with a revolver (which he just invented.)

Pen and Paper F.PS.' are invented but are total crap. They mare all ordered burned by God because they are such shit.

Doctor Vomitface is born.


A random voice is heard all over the world saying " You have entered Beef Rib Airspace prepare to be assimilated-- oh crap wrong message, I mean killed.....or was it become deceased from endless sledgehammer pounds, oh well you bastards get the idea. ."

Watatsuki no Toyohime announces the opening of the bridge from Kyoto to Middle Earth. Genghis Khan 2.0 of the Mongol Cyborg-Empire begins the invasion of Middle Earth, and fights the Ducks that are there. All of Toyotomi Japan becomes speechless, not even Koishi Komeiji could say anything except, ロジックはどこにありますか? (Where is logic?)

Mystia Lorelei bans the cooking of any birds in Song China. She said if one tried to cook a bird. they would get sung to death and use one of the powerful songs that is unimaginable. It would either be this or this with the last one being the most dangerous ever.

Aya Shameimaru invents a camera that can run on Vodka. However, this makes every picture she takes have contained a Vodka drink.

IKEA took over Sweden and renames themselves as the "Greater IKEA Republic" (Swedish:Större IKEA Republiken, Japanese:グレーターIKEA共和国). The Greater IKEA Republic invades Volvo, Saab, Spyker, and builds some Furniture on Wheels.

一千八百五十五 (1855)

Watatsuki no Toyohime decided to hijack the year number and turn it into Japanese. Toyotomi Japan celebrates as a result. "Because it needed one, and badly" Watatsuki no Toyohime said. Koishi Komeiji stands by and protects the Emperor and her sayings.

Song China abandons the Simplified Chinese and use only Traditional Chinese because the Simplified was too simple and became defunct for a while. Mystia Lorelei approves of this law and sent into action.

Aya Shameimaru coins the term "Capitalist" and the definition is "Someone who capitalises random letters. Example: LiKe ThIs". Aya Shameimaru also coins the word "Red" and the definition for is this.

The Greater IKEA Republic bans all non-furniture, except food and drinks for very obvious reasons.

一千八百五十六 (1856)

Watatsuki no Toyohime continues to change the year in Japanese, because it is easier to understand and read; and she also finds and kills the random voice that said weird stuff back in 1854. She also destroys the Beef Rib Airspace thing and renames it into "Outback". Meanwhile, in Toyotomi Japan, people still celebrate and Koishi Komeiji takes over a bunch of islands in the Pacific...and merges them into one large island because there is too many small and tiny islands; less islands the better.

Song China sells the Simplified Chinese Script to Greece. Greece accepts and the Greeks write Greek in Simplified Chinese instead. Bulgaria becomes confused.

Aya Shameimaru becomes CEO and President of the Greater IKEA Republic and says "我々は上昇する! 我々は戦う! 我々は我々の敵を征服しなければならない! 誰も私たちを止められない!" (Translation: We will rise! We will fight! We shall conquer our enemies! No one can stop us!). Aya Shameimaru and her Russian Friends attempts to invade Mexico.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to take a break from altering the year into Japanese. However, Toyotomi Japan celebrates the fact that it has scared a lot away.
Koishi Komeiji spends some funding into research. India declares independence from the British for a few seconds to reset their banks, then rejoins the UK as a result.

Mystia Lorelei decides to build the Atom Bomb, made completely from Atoms. This fails and as a result, huge mountains grows in the Netherlands and Denmark.

Aya Shameimaru and her Russian Friends continue to invade Mexico, but have a difficult time due to the Sombrero Hats and Taco Bells in the area.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to pose a ban on the number 300. Sparta collapses as a result and the Persian Empire takes over Greece.

Greece becomes all Grease and oily and buildings slide all over the place, killing stuff.

Mystia Lorelei decides to send all the Pandas to Mongolia. Pandas take over Mongolia in a day and invade the Bear's (Russia) waters. Soon, Russia is above land.

Kazakhstan loses money in tourism thanks to the Russian Ocean dispersing. Borat Sagdiyev steps down and Kazakhstan becomes nothing more than a deserted wasteland.

Aya Shameimaru decides to leave Mexico alone after her Russian Friends all got killed. Aya Shameimaru decides to invade Norway and invade the seas, while wearing a Viking hat with horns and carrying a Camera-sword.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to buy a Vase and throws it at Russia. St. Peters-burg shatters like glass and breaks apart and collapses. Alexander II also is broken like glass. Alexander III becomes new leader of Russia.

Mystia Lorelei sings. That is all that is happening in Song China. Nothing else. Except that Song China builds Singing Harbour Ports. That is all.

The first De-motivational Poster is created by Alfred Sakamoto in Montreal, Quebec. There is much rejoicing.

Aya Shameimaru conquers Norway, Feta Cheese (Greece), A Flock of Sea-gulls, Typhoon, and accidentally spills Kool-Aid into the Red Sea, turning it red. Aya Shameimaru is put down as a member of the Axis of Evil.

Dear Reader, Kim Il Sung successfully reads another book. He is proclaimed emperor of some Library in Fiji.

Uncyclopedia becomes the most awesome site in America.


Watatsuki no Toyohime creates an ice machine, and freezes the Pacific Ocean. Water levels drop significantly around the world, by -200 metres. The UK and Ireland is eaten up by Europe, Australia eats up part of Indonesia and etc. Basically, more land is made. It is now possible to slide from Japan to Colombia. Hawaii doesn't exist anymore.

Song China bans fire-places and heaters. Then again, everyone is used to the cold in Song China so it really doesn't matter.

The Greater IKEA Republic begins invasion of Antarctica. They take over the continent in 1 day and builds an IKEA in the centre of the South Pole and the flag of IKEA is raised. A Cold War begins between Aya Shameimaru's IKEA Republic and Iceland.

The Danish declares war and defeats Cirno. Frederick VII says "Grønland vil altid tilhøre os danske! Ikke Cirno! Ikke Rusland! Ikke Canada eller britiske! Ikke Serbien! Ikke nogle middelklasse person! Grønland vil altid tilhøre Danmark for evigt! Prøv at tage det væk, og du vil betale konsekvenserne!" (Greenland will always belong to us Danish! Not Cirno! Not Russia! Not Canada or the British! Not Serbia! Not some Middle Class Person! Greenland will always belong to Denmark forever! Try to take it away and you will pay the consequences!)

Dear Reader Kim Il Sung reads an instrument book. The Fiji Library now becomes a part Library, and part Music Room.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to use the ice machine on Desert areas. They are quickly turned into rainforests.

Mystia Lorelei bans the word 'fire' in Song China. Which is not a problem, as the word had quickly fallen out of use.

The Reykjavík Missile Crisis happens. Aya Shameimaru proposes to the IKEA Government that sanctions should be imposed on Iceland. They do so, without causing a war.

The Computist Rates of Armenia declares independence from Russia. The Greater IKEA Republic decides to invade Armenia, defeats it, and Armenia rejoins Russia.


Watatsuki no Toyohime builds shrines, and the Greeks are returned to ancient history.

Song China host the Opera Olympics. It is quickly won by the Lamborghini Gallado.

Aya Shameimaru builds camera-coats. This angers Iceland and the Cold War is starting to cool down.

Jared Fogle goes back in time to build a Subway. It will offer rides from Burger King to the metropolitan heart of downtown, Toronto.


Watatsuki no Toyohime invents the Flood-resistant mirror-drilling machine (Japanese:洪水トレラントミラーのドリル; Hungarian: Árvíztűrő tükörfúrógép). This causes the floods in Indonesia to be delayed from the airports.

Mystia Lorelei decides to host an Opera Olympics every four years. A ghostly feeling is felt through-out Song China.

The Icelandic President, Friðrik ⑨ is shot in Australia. Iceland declares war, and elects Cirno II as the new President of Iceland.

Aya Shameimaru secretly puts sanctions against the バカ president of Iceland. Iceland hosts a バカ feast.


Watatsuki no Toyohime uses the ice machine again. Dark clouds start to cover up 99% of the Earth. Plants become more green and trees grow more. Toyotomi Japan celebrates the clouds.

Mystia Lorelei decides to build another Great Wall of China, but this time, made completely out of notes and music.

Aya Shameimaru builds a nuclear camera. It works. Meanwhile, the Greater IKEA Republic invades Ukraine because it needed Chernobyl as a test site.

Another Typhoon slams into Australia. The desert is turned into a swamp.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to clone the Big Ben and reformat the clock to look like a mix between the Big Ben and the Shinto Shrine. Toyotomi Japan celebrates, and the United Kingdom is lost in time.

Song China creates sanctions against Kyrgyzstan for having a weird name.

President John Wilkes Booth of the United States is shot by Norrisian Sympathizer, Abraham Lincoln.

The Greater IKEA Republic bans the following words:

  • Muscovy
  • France
  • United Kingdom
  • Sarah Palin
  • Hammer
  • Latin
  • Billy Mays

For not so obvious reasons. Meanwhile, Aya Shameimaru builds a camera-powered chair.


Watatsuki no Toyohime finally announces the opening and completion of the bridge from Kyoto to Middle-Earth. Soon, Utsuho Reiuji arrives from Middle-Earth and drops a Nuclear Sun on the Aztec Empire. The Chihauhuas, Pedro, Mexico and all else are destroyed. The USA also explodes.

Mystia Lorelei has a celebration all over Song China. They also force the British Empire (Song China's puppet state) to take over the destroyed wasteland. Because of this, petroleum is made free forever.

Ironically, the Earth gets 20 degrees Celsius colder. The Sun itself shrinks a bit.

The Greater IKEA Republic steals some nuclear atoms. Meanwhile, Aya Shameimaru invents a Nuclear Camera.


Watatsuki no Toyohime purchases the Dutch East Indies. Toyotomi Japan starts to burn down all the plants in the former colony in case there was any source of drugs lying around.

Mystia Lorelei plans to build a Musical Restaurant. Meanwhile, Shanghai becomes the new capital for a brief moment.

Aya Shameimaru starts to build radio-active furniture. The Greater IKEA Republic is now a Nuclear Power. Another Cold War starts between Aya's Greater IKEA Republic and Utsuho Reiuji, and IKEA is also stuck in a Cold War with Iceland.

The Netherlands are taken over by Hamsters and Amsterdam is renamed Hamsterdam.


Watatsuki no Toyohime uses the ice machine again to cool down the Earth even more. It works, and the small possible heat wave is frozen up. This goes to grills as well.

Song China celebrates the fact that colder planet is better than Global Warming. Mystia Lorelei sings happily.

Aya Shameimaru invents a new flavour of Vodka - Nuclear Vodka. This new flavour will have the taste of a radioactive smelly magnet, and a possible explosion can happen if the person walks on carpets or is stuck in a thunder-storm.

The Greater IKEA Republic, Iceland, and Utsuho Reiuji are now stuck in a Cold War with each other. And Aya's recent invention has angered both Iceland and Utsuho. Iceland is more or less angry about the copyright of Vodka.

Meanwhile, Italy is unified, and many pizzas are made in celebration. They also build the world's largest Pizza palace in a government building.

Chuck Norris pimp-slaps the Earth, so it blew up.

That does not make any sense. Also ruins everything. So, no, sorry.


Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to annex Song China to be part of Toyotomi Japan. It happens, and the music is saved from being stolen from Song China. Mystia Lorelei still builds more Theatres for singing, however.

The Greater IKEA Republic builds more radioactive furniture. Iceland builds a Nuclear Ice-cube. Utsuho Reiuji is nuclear. The Cold War escalates to nowhere. The government of Venezuela tries to intervene but gets blown up at the last minute.

Portugal, Oregon, Ulster, and Tuvalu merge for fun.

Aya Shameimaru's Nuclear Vodka sells not so high in Russia due to reported stuff that people are turned into dragons, wood, cloud, and even as far as a tornado. However, the Nuclear Vodka remains popular.


Watatsuki no Toyohime builds a tornado. The tornado becomes a superpower and sucks up Indonesia. It removes all stains from it, even red wine.

Mystia Lorelei sings again. The tornado drops Indonesia back where it belongs. The tornado then strikes into Australia and declares war on trees.

Aya Shameimaru invents Zorbeez (which smells like a magnet). It can be used to clean up stains, even radioactive material. Iceland and Utsuho Reiuji try to invent something to counter it, but nothing happens. The Greater IKEA Republic is on the side of winning, maybe.


Toyotomi Japan absorbs Mongolia into its empire, and turns it into an arctic tundra, as well as a grass-land. Fire and sand storms become banned in Mongolia. Watatsuki no Toyohime passes a law that strictly enforces the rule of no fire.

President George Farkus says "Yo Mama's so fat, she can't even jump to conclusions!" in the conclusion of the 1871 State of the Union Address, becoming the first president to say a "Yo Mama" Joke

The Greater IKEA Republic builds the worlds largest IKEA store. However, under the store, contains stuff. Iceland and Utsuho Reiuji try to push sanctions against it, but they accidentally pushed sanctions against each other.

The Tree War in Australia is over, with a crushing victory from a tornado. Australia is once again a desert. That is, until Typhoon mysteriously comes knocking on its door.


Toyotomi Japan decides to build a house on the mountain, in the province of Song China. The households, until it causes the Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland to erupt. Watatsuki no Toyohime has nothing to say about this strange happening.

Iceland gets knocked out due to the Eyjafjallajökull eruption and can't participate in the Cold War for a while. The Greater IKEA Republic builds a mix between a chair and a table and repels away any volcanic smoke away from them.

Australia is hit by flooding, mostly seen in the centre of where mostly desert would be. Australia starts to sink into the ocean because of this.


Godzilla wakes up and, in a fit of rage, destroys Chuck Norris and his country and brings back the world to its original state and then he leaves to marry Mothra.

The number @# (37 backwards) is outlawed.

Српска мафија уништава енглески језик у пљачку банке. Енглески говорници су приморани да говоре српски уместо.
(Translation, highlight to read:) (The Serbian Mafia destroys the English language in a bank robbery. English speakers are forced to speak Serbian instead.)


Det Större IKEA Republiken återställer det engelska språket. Aya Shameimaru then kidnaps all of Serbia and annex it to the Greater IKEA Republic. Foreign Minister Louis Gerhard De Geer says that återställer = restores. And also adds to figure out the rest of the Swedish sentence as it is blatantly obvious of what it should supposed to say.

Prime Minister Koishi Komeiji says that money is the main cause of problems, troubles, and tornadoes. Toyotomi Japan and Watatsuki no Toyohime says nothing on the issue. Money becomes listed on the Axis of Greed, term coined by some random person from New Zealand.

The Falkland Islands are invaded by Sheep. Dear Reader Sheep Sung Il takes control of the newly formed "Falkland Sheep's Republic"

Typhoon Vladimir the Putin MKII strikes back. It makes waterfall in Hamsterdam. A war between the Hamster Netherlands, Falkland Sheep's Republic, and Vodka Russia begins.


Watatsuki no Toyohime builds a proton-rocket-grenade-missile launcher that can destroy things within a 500km radius times 3.14. It is tested in the Pacific. The small islands out scattered in the Pacific are blown to shreds by the explosion and Hawaii breaks like glass. Toyotomi Japan celebrates the excitement.

The Greater IKEA Republic builds their first ballistic table missile as a temporary replacement for Nuclear Power Plants. Aya Shameimaru builds a Vodklear Power Plant (Power Plant powered by Vodka), Moscow is renamed Vodskaw because of it.

On a Cold Winter Mourning, Korea is in silence. 1st ever silence ever since the Mongol Empire.

Libya declares war on Chad, Chad declares war on Darwin, Darwin declares war on Libya. All three lose to Otto von Bismarck.


Doctor Lawyer is Born in Bristol. Watatsuki no Toyohime unites small villages and towns into one large city in Toyotomi Japan. It is successful. Meanwhile, London becomes Balkanised.

The Greater IKEA Republic declares war, and invades on Iceland and annexes it thanks to the Volcanic Advantage Company and Chinese Restaurants support. Now the Cold War is between Greater IKEA Republic and Utsuho Reiuji. Aya Shameimaru invents the Table-Chair-Couch-Engine-Nuclear-Missile Launcher, which can shoot furniture at 300+ kph and leaves stains on the kitchen floor., and Anti-Flammable!

The Caribbean Islands become balkanised. The people who live on these islands are also balkanised, as well as domestic house pets.


In Toyotomi Japan, Watatsuki no Toyohime merges more small villages and towns into very huge cities, and builds more buildings in between. Meanwhile, England Cities becomes Balkanised. Koishi Komeiji passes a law that protects Toyotomi Japan from being balkanised, and becomes immune.

The Greater IKEA Republic also passes an anti-balkanisation law that will protect the Greater IKEA Republic from any harm. The law itself is also immune to balkanisation. Meanwhile, a Thunderstorm hits St. Petersburg, and the rivers are flooded with Vodka. Soon all of St. Petersburg is flooded with Vodka and Russians celebrate.

Aya Shameimaru uses Table-Chair-Couch-Engine-Nuclear-Missile Launcher against a lake filled with dolphins and sharks. They become balkanised after the weapon was fired at them.

Chile gets hit by a balkanised Earthquake. Chile had no damage and stayed intact.


Toyotomi Japan becomes over-modernised, which is a good thing. Watatsuki no Toyohime renews her contract which keeps her in power for another 45 years. The Japanese celebrate.

The Greater IKEA Republic attempts to modernise Russia, but instead, Vodkaises them more. Meanwhile, an IKEA sales-person discovers that the Ancient Geeks from Ancient Greece invented the modem laptop. Aya Shameimaru takes note of this and hosts it on the Garden-ian Newspaper in Sunflower Britain.

A bloody snow-storm strikes New Zealand. No buildings, only survivors. No deaths were caused by cold, only heat.


Toyotomi Japan builds a shield to keep any typhoons out. The next typhoon is reflected off and hits Canada. Mountains start to grow in Canada due to 9 out of 10 scientists agreeing.

The Greater IKEA Republic declares war against the Forest Republic and wins. The Gorillas use guerrilla warfare tactics to take back the forest, but fail. Aya Shameimaru kills 3 birds with no stones as a result, no money back.

The Caribbean islands themselves become balkanised.


Toyotomi Japan takes control of the local news-paper faculty for a while to send a fax.

The Greater IKEA Republic makes 20 more years to win the Cold War. They begin building Table-Aeroplane B17 Bombers and Lounge Chair Tanks. Aya Shameimaru gets a new Russian name, Nadezhda Zhukov and Aye is her new nickname.

Russia establishes an Official Holiday, called Vodka Month, and it will be on all the days on the 11th Month. All stores are closed throughout the 11th month from now on, except places to buy and drink Vodka.


Toyotomi Japan now has -3% unemployment. Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to create the negative version percent, and the less the percent, better it is.

The Greater IKEA Republic announces a new sale. Everything is 20% more or less, depends on their mood. Nadezhda Zhukov invents and introduces the Big City Slider Station. It can cut and clean food for only 19.99£ only for a limited time.

The Swiss Cheese is made in Switzerland. Soon, they discover large pipes that go to China, through Earth of course.

In Soviet Russia, Switzerland is made in Swiss Cheese!


Toyotomi Japan re-formats the light bulb and adjusts the price tag down to 3.14 yen. Street lights are beginning to be thief-proof. The thief would take 100 years just to steal a street light.

The Greater IKEA Republic begins invasion of Africa. Because most of the continent is frozen solid, they take most of it. They begin to build IKEA stores out of pure ice and make furniture out of pure ice. Nadezhda Zhukov builds an ice camera, and tests it, and it works.

The island of Cuba begins to be balkanised.


Toyotomi Japan opens up a racing circuit in the power system of an engine. It is successful.

Greater IKEA Republic annexes a rock or 2 to help build its strength. Nadezhda Zhukov builds an Ice AK-47 that can shoot Ice Bullets at 400+ kph and get a head-shot in less than 9 minutes.

Duck Hunt begins in Panama. Gangsters with 9MM Postal Mail-boxes joins the Duck Hunt competition.


Toyotomi Japan begins building a Tornado Twister Information Technology Institute of Modems. Some become confused by it.

Greater IKEA Republic establishes a KGB. Nadezhda Zhukov tells that it has nothing to do with Companyunism or Solummunism.

The Mañana is made in Panama. It's slogan is "You'll get there yesterday"


Doctor Lawyer throws Logic at Chuck Norris and he runs to Antarctica, Crying. Doctor Lawyer becomes leader of Norrisland but is shortly assassinated by the 11th Doctor, a KGB Agent.

Toyotomi Japan establishes a road way in the mountain country side of the coastal bay. The roads make it tough to attack at high speeds, and causes a tornado to form in Vietnam.

Greater IKEA Republic opens up a KGB food place that sells fried chicken. Nadezhda Zhukov investigates any possible modifications to cancel a check of a chess board.

The Mañana reaches a world speed record of 999 kph, and is the fastest car of all time.


Toyotomi Japan opens up a Shanghai festival at night, with no lights. No accidents occurred.

Greater IKEA Republic has the highest GDP of all time. Nadezhda Zhukov purchases a Low Rider. A flock of sea-gulls pass by, lowering the birds GDP.

The Harbour Bridge is built for boats that drive on land.


Toyotomi Japan rebuilds Shanghai to re-improve its safety as the festival caused un-needed hazards.

Greater IKEA Republic invades a food market and takes it over. A new food, called Chair-Steak is created. Nadezhda Zhukov sells a drink that can also clean floors.

Australia declares independence from itself and renames itself Australia...Austria.


Toyotomi Japan begins to rate performances by using the Beaufort scale with 12 being broken glass and ⑨ being the strongest.

Greater IKEA Republic declares war on the Empire of Kaufland and wins. Kaufland is turned into a Puppet store, called Stalkland. Nadezhda Zhukov tackles more camera for more income payment.

Ecopearlism is created by a Ukrainian, combining economics and imperialism.

OTL Wikipedia comes from now where all of the suddenly, then disappears again.


Toyotomi Japan builds an anchor the size of a large tree and uses it on a raft. Flying fish happen as a result.

Greater IKEA Republic creates a coffee made entirely of pure wood. 500 Splinters happened that day. Nadezhda Zhukov creates an iron watch made out of metal and pure gold, and sells it for One British Pound.

The U-Crane Company is founded in Belarus due to pro-Ukrainian settlement there.

Russian-American Yakhov Smirnoff writes the Communist Manifeso, the Manifesto in 500 pages long, 20 pages are actually about communism, the remaining 480 pages are all of the jokes he makes about a possible government under the new system.


Toyotomi Japan decides to annex Song China, all of South East Asia, Mongolia, Korea, and all the Russian Far East and locks them down. They become protected by Japan. The Forbidden Palace in China becomes Forbidden for now.

The Greater IKEA Republic decides to get through this once and for all and invades and annexes ALL of Europe (except European Russia) + Greenland + remains of Turkey. Capital remains at Stockholm, but sometimes located in Helsinki every time the IKEA government pays 19,99 krona on a Volvo XC90. Nadezhda Zhukov creates a new, more powerful, Radioactive Nuclear Camera.

The Redundancy Repetition Company is founded established created in Tripoli. Its it is it's first creation invention is the papyrus paper made out of pure tree wood. The Government of the Indian tribe in Antarctica declares a new law banning people from finishing their . This causes an eruption of riots and . But Chuck Norris didn't like the hippies so he . Then Wal-mart won the election and became . .

Tai Mai Shu decides to create a nation of Kul Nai Shon, but dies from a heart attack, while trying to conquer China.


  • Utsuho Reiuji takes back Iceland. However, the Greater IKEA Republic decides to use their Nuclear-powered camera and take a picture. This causes Iceland to be a 3D object and not land anymore, and merges with Utsuho Reiuji, now turning her into something like Nyan Cat.
  • Toyotomi Japan invades India, but Nepal pushes them back due to the powerful mountain winds.
  • Ukraine decides to launch their largest crane and drops a house. They achieve independence.
  • Nicolas Sarkozy, while testing his new Renault, accidentally stumbles upon this year. He then drives into another portal, taking him elsewhere.
  • Nadezhda Zhukov builds a nuclear-powered street lamp. The light however starts to burn the ground so she takes it apart peacefully.


  • Pregnancy tests are available to the public as they enter the public market.
  • Home working becomes more popular and more employees seem to be working from home instead of that the office. However home workers are seen to be becoming more lazy and having a smaller output of work. Several prominent firms making use of cat supervisors to make sure that employees aren't messing around and to make them work!
  • All the islands and stuff that were balkanised are reset and exist again.
  • An Untitled Notepad is found in the Land Down Under, and an Australian decides to use it for industrialisation.
  • The Greater IKEA Republic re-invades France after they tried to secede from them.
  • Utsuho Reiuji flies to Chile for no specific reason, except to retreat.
  • Deer Reader Kim Il Sung caches a disease, and can't leave the Fiji library until his disease passes.
  • Nadezhda Zhukov runs out of ideas with nuclear and furnitures.
  • The Atom is discovered, but then forgotten. It is discovered again, only this time its difficult to remember, because it is 10−10 m in size. After a while its finally remembered.


  • Not liking Zhukov's nuclear devices, James Watt decides to create a rival company making steam-powered devices to combat Zhukov's nuclear devices. Watt's company finds overnight success after it release the steam powered guitar.
  • Most of the pet cats of the teleworkers with cat supervisors begin to feel neglected, and end up taking drastic measures to get attention, and start to lobby the government to outlaw the use of cat supervisors. Other cats leave and get their own jobs as cat supervisors, and some even kill their owner's current cat supervisors and become their owner's cat supervisor as well as their pet.
  • The bird is discovered to be the world
  • Nadezhda Zhukov changes her name back to Aya Shameimaru but changes it to Nadezhda Zhukov again 5 seconds later, and she flees, taking all her technology she ever invented, jumps into her McLaren F1 and flies forward in time to 1920. She is no longer seen...for now anyway.
  • Meanwhile, a ghost with a Sega Dreamcast-looking logo on her hat goes looking for tengu birds to eat. She doesn't find one and is angered.
  • Prime Minister Koishi Komeiji (of Toyotomi Japan) decides to rival both Zhukov's nuclear devices and Watt's steam-powered devices and makes her own company. She creates a rival company to both, with Solar Power. Within 5 hours, she releases the Solar Powered motorbike.
  • Otto von Bismarck attempts to unite the German kingdoms but loses his wallet in the process. Germany falls into millions of tiny kingdoms again.
  • Greater IKEA Republic declares war on Smirnoff in anger and to lower prices.
  • Red Square joins the Greater IKEA Republic in the war against Smirnoff


  • David Cameron got Margaret Thatcher's name stitched on his lip, so he won't get hitched.
  • The Funnier History map game arises from the ashes like a magnificent phoenix and starts to be played regularly again; albeit with a much more different sense of humour.
  • The Tetris Event arrives from No Nukes to this time-line and intervenes.
  • Paper Marisa Kirisame master sparks the Tetris Event but a second later she gets transported and stuck inside sand-paper.
  • As a result, the newspaper series of Paper Marisa Kirisame: Thousand-Year Wall is created by Nicholas II of Russia.
  • Skyway Road is built in Land Down Under.
  • 25 tornadoes decide to merge into one SuperTornado and destroys everything in the centre of North America. Thousands and thousands die by being slammed into buildings, hit by flying objects. Afterwards, Rin Kaenbyou uses her newly purchased wheelbarrow and collects the corpses and throws it into Mt. Gnome.
  • Otto von Bismarck tries to find his wallet so that he can unite all the German Kingdoms, but isn't having much luck.
  • Smirnoff slips on a rug and gets knocked out into a coma. Greater IKEA Republic and Red Square proclaim victory.
  • The ghost with a Sega Dreamcast-looking logo on her hat goes and looks in a forest to find some birds to eat, but no success.
  • Wheel of Fortune is taken off the air after a number of people send in complaints following this incident.


  • A person realises that everything it sees is all staged, staged, staged, staged on Television and is convinced that nothing has really happened over the years. That is, until the person realised that its still too early for television, and is tricked and realises said person is already 125 years old.
  • The person who was 125 years old dies, and its corpse is taken away by Rin Kaenbyou and throws it into another volcano.
  • Slovakia uses the power of the two-crossed sword and goes into 2D.
  • The first comic of Paper Marisa Kirisame: Thousand-Year Wall is this: Slovakia with the two-crossed sword arrived in a 2D area, Slovakia challenges Paper Marisa, but gets master sparked, until it uses the two-crossed sword, and Paper Marisa uses a fiesta, and she wins. Slovakia lost and is converted to Buddhism.
  • A few Czech revive Slovakia but now is Czech for now.
  • Otto von Bismarck found what seemed to be his wallet, but actually found some Twix. Using the Twix, Otto von Bismarck challenges the small German Kingdoms to a duel.
  • Greater IKEA Republic uses this opportunity to fire some snow. Though the snow melts after being fired from a cannon.
  • Charlie Brooker publishes a book about how to present the news, and also does talks about how to present the news. His theories are nearly as wide spread as a German beach towel covering up all the sun loungers at a Spanish holiday resort.


  • Charlie Brooker renames himself the "Sarcastic Nostradamus", and begins predicting everything what is going to happen, while continually mocking everything.
  • Mario gets fed up of travelling through pipes, walking in constant fear of troopas, so he buys a motorbike instead. That said, the other drivers behind Mario seem to drive into floating red boxes, before hurling a variety of objects at Mario. Mario later dies in a car crash.
  • Moneybags takes over the UK Conservative party, and begins hoarding Britain's wealth & gems all for himself.
  • Otto von Bismarck wakes up on the day of his dual with the other German states, and uses all the money in his wallet to buy a "Healthy German Breakfast" but he has too much "breakfast" and misses the dual because he was incapacitated.
  • Spiderman refuses to stop saving New York from Supervillians in protest, that Santa didn't bring him any Christmas presents. Santa later points out, that Spiderman sent him a blank letter and has a secret identity so Santa didn't know where to leave Spiderman's presents.
  • After being ignored by their owners, and insulted by them, many cats leave their owners and go to Mars, to found the "Feline Federated Kingdom", with King Felix as head of state.
  • King Felix appoints Smokey, as his Chief Naval Commander; however Smokey is quickly seen to be a poor naval strategist. Bill Murray is appointed as the FFK's new Chief Naval Commander after Bill converts to becoming a pimp.
  • The IRS is discovered to have actual people working for them. It is later discovered to a computer error, and the SkyNet, begin to take over the world. Thankfully, since SkyNet was based on Steam-powered severs built by Watt and they ran out of coal. Judgment day is averted.
  • Slovakia is back into 3D and lands back in its original location, squishing the Czechs in the area where Slovakia was supposed to be. Czech becomes scared.
  • Netherlands declare independence after opening too many 'coffee shops' as well as planting a poison flower.
  • Emperor Watatsuki no Toyohime of Toyotomi Japan wakes up after accidentally sleeping for 3 months, and feels a bit sick. However, she drinks Lemon Ice Tea and feels fine again.
  • The Ticket Sultanate forms, much to the horror of UK.
  • Greater IKEA Republic sees a lot more snow lately. Temperatures drop to -75 degrees Celsius, but all is fine.
  • Nicholas II of Russia dies from a warm front weather pressure system that was over India. Rin Kaenbyou picks up his corpse with wheelbarrow and throws it into another Volcano.
  • Realising that there are no more Royal Russians to continue the Tsar, they decide to bring Wilhelm II in and he becomes the Tsar of Russia. Wilhelm II accepts.


  • The Comic Paper Marisa Kirisame: Thousand-Year Wall is continued by Wilhelm II.
  • The ghost with a Sega Dreamcast-looking logo on her hat finds some birds and eats them.
  • 7-Eleven is established in Austria-Hungary and another Cold War follows between 7-Eleven and the Greater IKEA Republic.
  • A person runs into a tree and has a splinter cell.
  • C is established, but is broke after a month. C+ is established but breaks down by the 11th Month. C++ is then established.
  • Deer Reader Kim Il Sung gets better and doesn't have the disease any more. However, he remains a bookworm.
  • Some other person develops H2Ophobia, but is so extreme that said person doesn't even want to drink water. The person dies with-in 4 days after a lack of water. Rin Kaenbyou collects the corpse with the wheelbarrow and throws it in a swamp.
  • A chicken develops Agyrophobia and never crosses the road again.
  • Charmander's big brother Charizard, is greaty annoyed when Charmander's cousin comes to stay over for the week.
  • Cave exploration loses all interest, because its simply too annoying.
  • ABC's "Man Up" goes off the air, after viewers complain of repeated mistakes in the show. ABC commission a new series, "10 Simple Rules" as a new series of "8 Simple Rules" to fill up "Man Up's" slot.
  • Gundam fans in Japan form their own gaming studio (similar to Gamerbase) but they just pwn Gamerbase in terms of the Gundam Gamerbase's setup.
  • Bill Murray expands his "business activities" and becomes a video game maker, and a music mogul too. He later begins to combine all 3 of his jobs, into a single project.
  • Ghastly goes into anger management and the anger management people help Ghastly to deal with his anger by him new moves.


  • Sakuya Izayoi trips over her shoe lace while carrying coffee. The coffee burns her, and she is taken to a hospital.
  • Freezing temperatures of around -80 to -100 degrees Celsius is felt in Toyotomi Japan, however, since they all are used to it, nothing happens at all.
  • The Equator has temperatures reaching around -40 degrees Celsius at the lowest.
  • Greater IKEA Republic sees a great opportunity to invade France and they almost won, until 6th month is reached. Napoleon with his motorbike chased the furniture away.
  • As thousands had died from the cold, Rin Kaenbyou continues to collect the corpses and throws them all into the volcano. Before she does that however, she realises that she could make more money by taking their wallets to keep, so she does so. But then she decides to give the money to the local banks as donations and to keep the economy running.
  • Bear Grylls enters the world media attention as a survival expert following a popular TV survival programme. However soon after his new TV series is released, the world media begin to make fun of Bear Grylls after he nearly dies of thirst & is forced to drink his own urine in Episode 1 of his new survival series. It gets worse as Bear Gryll's TV series continues to be mostly shots of him drinking his own urine and Budd Lite. A range of front pages from newspapers mocking Bear Grylls about his apparent fondness for drinking his own urine.
  • VonGlusenburg reveals to the world why he is so fat. He quickly loses the weight however, because he does it more vigorously


  • Science is resurrected by Nitori Kawashiro because its 100% fact and has no bias and tells 100% truth.
  • The people who destroyed science last year die of strokes. Rin Kaenbyou proceeds to collect their corpses and throws them into Mt. Atheist.
  • The ghost with a Sega Dreamcast-looking logo on her hat trips over a tree. She is taken to the hospital, until they realise its really Yuyuko Saigyouji, then the Doctor's pets run away in fear.
  • Sakuya Izayoi is released from the hospital after being treated. That is, until she trips over and falls into a river. Three hours later she is founded and taken to the hospital....again...
  • The Greeks find Ist*nbul as a cuss word and therefore it must be censored.
  • Ticket Sultanate declares jihad against UK, and fight a three minute war before the Greater IKEA Republic smashes in and crushes them both.
  • Getting a bit sick of the heat, Prime Minister Koishi Komeiji of Toyotomi Japan creates cloud panels, that can absorb energy from light that travels through any type of clouds, even super-cell clouds.
  • London is evacuated after Zombies take over the city. However, the Zombies split into Meat eating Zombies & Vegetarian Zombies. The meat eating Zombies eat the vegetarian Zombies, but then the meat-eating Zombies die from food poisoning.


  • The counter somehow broke, causing the year to go to 1800.


  • A mechanic has fixed the problem, and now its finally 1900.
  • Utsuho Reiuji is turned back to normal after using a machine to get rid of Iceland. Iceland is now back to normal, and is actual land again. Satisfied being normal again, she continues the Cold War against the Greater IKEA Republic.
  • The Greater IKEA Republic just groans....
  • Sakuya Izayoi is released from the hospital again, but a second later, she is brought back due to her leg being broken.
  • Donald Trump fires his Boss, Bus Driver, and Executive Boss. Having the power to fire his bosses, Donald Trump goes on a 'You're fired' rampage.
  • The Tac Nayn is on the loose, and also goes on a rampage.
  • Hearing about rampages, Rin Kaenbyou runs to collect any possible corpses that are left behind that she can find, and throws them in a volcano.
  • A tornado strikes and destroys a mountain


  • The year never exists except for the month of August and a few hours of October 3rd. It is considered a second 1839.


  • A vision of the future is seen by French Prophet named Pierre Dutour. He warns people of the early 1940's because he saw the image of some scary monsters with many humanoid aspects. He saw a guy with an odd mustache, a guy with wheels for legs, a guy with webbed toes, and a bulldog dressed as a human. He also warned of a huge stream of white flags over his native country of France.
  • The Japanese invasion of Cape Hatteras fails and is laughed at by everybody on earth.


  • Pierre Dutour sees the future again. He warns everyone to cover their ears from March to June of 2011 saying "The people will be exposed to a horrid noise that should never be heard by anyone!" He says if you hear the words in tune: "Seven AM Waking up in the Moring", you should run for your life and cover your ears.
  • The Althistory Wiki is launched.


  • Pierre Dutour announces the next 5 missing years will be 1958, 1994, 2010, 2085, and 2135.
  • Cape Hatteras and a million people is killed by an F5493 Tornado with winds up to 328914kmh. This effectively destroys any storm scale trying to measure storms. Meanwhile, Rin Kaenbyou manages to pick up all the corpses and throws them all into a volcano. This effectively stores up more petroleum/fossil fuel in the earth's ground over time.
  • Sakuya Izayoi is released from the hospital for the last time. A month later, she fell off a cliff. Never heard from since.
  • A Category 500 Typhoon effectively floods most of North America (all the lands above Mexico, really). All who live in those areas die immediately. The Spanish celebrate and take over the sunken lands.
  • Emperor Watatsuki no Toyohime of Toyotomi Japan decides to shut down her borders again, as well as her palace.
  • Greater IKEA Republic manages to invade Slovakia after a road blockade held the IKEA up for 3 days now.
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad starts a new show, called Jihad My Ride. He will do whatever he can to make someone's ride the bomb.


  • The Funnier History (Map Game) page on Wikia is created.
  • Abraham Lincoln rises from the dead & becomes a vampire hunter. Angry at this, Wesley Snipes makes himself be prematurely born so he can start slaying vampires as the vampire hunter Blade. The Wesley Snipes-Abraham Lincoln becomes more complicated as they try to kill the vampire Robert Pattinson, but his lover Kristen Stewart gets in the way. Snipes & Lincoln decide to let Robert Pattinson fight it out with his werewolf love rival Taylor Lautner. Hugh Jackman later enters the fight alongside Kate Beckinsale to kill all the vampires & werewolfs on behalf of the Catholic Church; however Kate Beckinsale is bitten by a vampire & turns into one herself. Kate then goes onto to fight with the lycan werewolves after getting Hugh Jackman to back being a magician in London, where Hugh goes onto fight with rival Magician Christian Bale with the help of Michael Caine & David Bowie, but that's a different story... Back to the vampire fights now, where the fight between the vampires & werewolves continue, eventually ending with the vampires winning thanks to the efforts of Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi. Sarah Michelle Gellar makes herself be prematurely born (like the rest of the other people previously mentioned) so she can kill the vampires. She kills a fair few, but ends up fighting with Kristy Swanson on who is the better vampire slayer. Mathew Horne and James Corden enter the whole vampire slaying scene eventually but they tend to specialize on the lesbian vampires only, and are killed once Aidan Turner realizes this.
  • The bad joke eel is born, causing sighs of disbelief across the ocean.
  • A waiter in a restaurant in Paris comes up with a novel idea to make his Valentine's day shift more interesting...
  • Symphony 40 in G min KV 550 by Mozart is played in the Alps and other parts of the world.
  • Greater IKEA Republic, begins to invade Hungary, and easily takes them by surprise.
  • However, soon Utsuho Reiuji attempts to destroy the Greater IKEA Republic, and the IKEAns respond by using their own nuclear devices however soon they realise that it just got absorbed by the giant nuclear sun, and soon Greater IKEA Republic has collapsed. The Cold War ends, with Utsuho being the winner.
  • The Empire of Yugoslavia takes up all of Eastern Europe and the Balkans after their independence.
  • The UK is freed, but then quickly re-invaded this time by France, and soon the British had collapsed again. Some British try to fight back but are just too tired to do so.
  • Rin Kaenbyou takes a break from collecting corpses for this year so she gets Komachi Onozuka to do it for her. Komachi does so but throws a few of the corpses in Antarctica.
  • The remains of IKEA moves to Sri Lanka Island, and the IKEA Democratic Republic is set up there, and also becomes neutral.
  • By the end of the year, Skandistan is established, launching a new Cold War against Utsuho Reiuji. Utsuho Reiuji prepares a lot more for this next Cold War...


  • Mr Tibbles while on his commute to his new job, is robbed by a gang of ruffians. As a result of this, Lord Snugglepuff starts to lobby in the House of Lords for better policing on the streets to stop such muggings in the future and the Emperor tamarin uses his royal powers to make crime illegal after he returned home to find somebody sleeping his bed.
  • Skandistan builds Aeroplanes, and that's all that matters to them.
  • The Celtic Alliance is established in Ireland, and soon the Celtic reorganises and purchases Cornwall for only 19.99£. But wait, that's not all. Because of the purchase of Cornwall, the Celtic Alliance also gets Wales, at no down payment. It's not done yet. At no price, the Celtic Alliance also gets Scotland for free. For the purchase of Cornwall the Celtic also gets Wales and Scotland, all for only 19.99£! They have ordered right now, and the Celtics obtained Cornwall, Wales, and Scotland.
  • France and Belgium get so dizzy listening to the commercial of selling Cornwall and become confused. Belgium hurt itself in it's confusion.
  • Rin Kaenbyou begins collecting corpses and throws them into volcanoes again after her break had ended.
  • Finally realising that Sakuya Izayoi is never going to come back, Patchouli Knowledge becomes the new maid of her mansion.
  • Canada is established on Newfoundland island, and adopt Kannada as an official language.
  • Emperor Watatsuki no Toyohime of Toyotomi Japan decides to move Gotham city out of Toyotomi Japan and moves it to London. London soon declares independence from France becoming New Gotham Empire.
  • Yuuka Kazami decides to plant millions of sunflowers in New Zealand.


  • Somebody checks the math on their calculator and 47 goes back to being a regular number, rather than an evil one.
  • The Pacific Ocean is renamed to Specific Ocean, because it can.
  • Skandistan invades Baltic lands, but massively fails thanks to a Nuclear Power Plant that was built in Tallinn.
  • The people in Vienna begin to complain about Nuclear Power. Hearing this, Utsuho Reiuji decides to drop the Nuclear Sun on Vienna. Within seconds, Vienna is renamed into the Ruins of Vina. Soon, Austria becomes swallowed and eaten up by Hungary. Three months later, Austria becomes deeply Hungarian.
  • La La Land is established in Luoyang by Mystia Lorelei, a Night Sparrow. However it is later merged into Toyotomi Japan.
  • Zimbabwe obtains a powerful economy and has a stable currency. Bolivia collapses as a result.


  • Skandistan builds more aeroplanes at a rate of over 200kmh! Due to the sheer speed of building, the workers collapse with some dying.
  • A typhoon challenges a tornado to a race. The result? Tornado wins by a huge advantage, and unfortunately the Typhoon couldn't make it as it's power has been slowed by land, and dies out as a result.
  • Tea comes from China! China also had said that they will bargain more red if needed.
  • However, it is found out that the China they were referring to was Hong Meiling. The real China is the Song Dynasty, and it's only imperialistic, and not communist.
  • Meanwhile Otto von Bismarck finally gets to duel against the other German states and attempts to unite Germany into one.
  • Rin Kaenbyou continues to collect corpses (and throws it in volcanoes) and tries to keep on track, as she accidentally slacked off last year.
  • Gay marriage is made legal, but only for otters.
  • Alexander Blechman publishes his famous short story, the Racist Tree in order to teach children how society progresses, and shouldn't be prejudiced.
  • 3D Tetris is invented. France and Britain are all afraid of this new invention.


  • Paper Marisa Kirisame: Thousand-Year Wall becomes the national book of Russia, as many Russians had loved the book so much.
  • Wilhelm II and Yuuka Kazami signs an alliance treaty and unites together because they both like flowers. As a result, Moscow becomes covered in flowers and many celebrate.
  • Skandistan decides to purchase the Great FireWall of China and uses it as a border to separate Skandistan from Russia, as well as to keep the flowers from spreading.
  • The hamsters retake the Netherlands again and Amsterdam is once again renamed Hamsterdam. However, soon, a mouse takes power in Belgium and renames the country to Never Never Land, and becomes a rival to the Netherlands.
  • Prime Minister Koishi Komeiji (of Toyotomi Japan) releases a Solar Powered Freezer, which works best when its still bright in the winter, and can only work it it gets light that is not from the sun nor candle light.
  • Someone tries to navigate through the Specific Ocean but they aren't Pacific enough.
  • As spray-cans are yet to be invented, disenchanted youth use moss paint to write graffiti messages on walls.


  • Seeing as an evil cat took power in Germany, Netherlands and Never Never Land sign an alliance to protect themselves from the threat.
  • Skandistan builds another Great FireWall to separate Denmark from Germany.
  • Utsuho Reiuji is now stuck in a three-way Cold War, against Skandistan and Germany.
  • Emperor Watatsuki no Toyohime of Toyotomi Japan declares neutrality for her land.
  • On an totally unrelated note, Green Midget Café opens up in Bromley.
  • And Now for Something Completely Different: Lamborghini Murciélago is built.
  • A new Prison is built in France, with a flag of Brittany being flown over it. This brings a whole new view to Brittany's flag.
  • Out of nowhere the Spanish Inquisition starts again, no one expects it & are caught off guard being sinful. They are tried before Brian who condemns them all as Sinners and makes them repent, but the Insane Sinful Tortoise plans his revenge...


  • Iceland gets a new President, Cirno III.
  • The 3D Tetris Event begins to affect Marseille and many have begun to disappear, buildings, objects, and people.
  • A Tornado is heavily beaten by the Lamborghini Murciélago on a race from Moscow to St. Petersburg.
  • A small plane crashes into a Skandistani Port. However, they don't do anything as they take the parts of the plane and build it to something else.
  • Yuyuko Saigyouji decides to sail around the world until she lands on an island that has a jungle in it. She then panics, that is, until she finds a parrot. She then chases the parrot..
  • A new game is released with the following difficulty modes: Easy, Medium, Italy, Lunatic, Finland.


  • The Republic of China is established!
  • ...that is until it's discovered that it's just Hong Meiling again trying new fighting moves. Song China is still here.
  • In other news, Kim Ill Sung dies. Kim Il Sung is born.
  • The Tac Nayn declares war on Iceland. Cirno III begins using Site Advisor to block possible skull viruses from exploiting her system.
  • Rumia appears out of nowhere and throws Germany in the dark. Only 900,000 of the population survives. The cat is also overthrown and Kaiser Schmitt takes role in Germany.
  • Italy, France and Portugal become allies. Hungary, Byzantine Empire, Bulgaria, and Ukraine become allies.
  • The Tetris 3D event is eventually defeated by Matryoshka dolls.


  • Utsuho Reiuji intervenes and defeats Tac Nayn and saves Iceland.
  • Cirno III dies later of an overdose of Banana Pretzels. Soon, Cirno IV becomes President of Iceland.
  • Sigurður Eggerz asks Cirno IV if she wants to go bowling. Cirno IV responds that she doesn't want to go bowling but then soon crashes into a building when she wasn't looking..
  • Germany soon gets a disastrous tornado. Kaiser Schmitt puts sanctions the tornado but it was too late.
  • Rin Kaenbyou continues to collect the corpses and throws them in volcanoes. However her wheelbarrow broke when she tried to put Cirno III on it. So Rin bought an even stronger Wheelbarrow and proceeded to carry Cirno III and throw her into the volcano.
  • Kim Il Sung finishes school at age 1 and soon goes to college.
  • An Earthquake strikes California and because it was supposed to happen in 1906, this earthquake was much worse as it measured 13.9 on the Richter Scale. As a result parts of California sink.
  • RMS Titanic rises from underwater and continues to sail on, as it actually lived.
  • Cher is born
  • Spain joins the alliance of Italy, France and Portugal. The 4 allied nations decide to rename their alliance as "the Fantastic Four"
  • Hungary, Byzantine Empire, Bulgaria, and Ukraine decide to formerly call their alliance the "In betweeners" as the nations are right in the middle of Eurasia.
  • The Sinful Tortoise starts his revenge by starting a coup d'etat in Greece, and taking over Greece. He has Greece join the In betweeners and begins warmongering in an attempt to destroy Spain in order to end the Spanish Inquisition and kill Brian.


  • Gavrilo Princip attempts to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand, but before he can he is quickly attacked and eaten by Rumia.
  • Soon, a Castillian assassin assassinates Archduke Franz Ferdinand and the Hungarian Leader, thus starting First World War.
  • Emperor Watatsuki no Toyohime of Toyotomi Japan decides to go to sleep, though not before announcing Japan's neutrality in any war.
  • Tsar Wilhelm II of Russia tries to remain neutral, but secretly supply the Serbians, even though the Serbians are not even fighting.
  • Iceland and Utsuho Reiuji keep guard to keep out intruders from their land, but also tune down the light-house as it is too dim.
  • Rin Kaenbyou is very excited about wars, as she makes tons of money during it.
  • All-out war begins between the In betweeners (Greece, Hungary, the Byzantine Empire, Bulgaria, and Ukraine) and the Fantastic Four (Spain, Italy, France, and Portugal).


  • The Russians begin a fight against the Communists in Russia. However, with the help of Yuuka Kazami, the Communists lose and are all dead. A victory is declared by Wilhelm II and Yuuka Kazami, and the Russians are saved.
  • As the war continues, Rin Kaenbyou quickly tries to pick up as many corpses as she can and throws them into volcanoes. However, she soon realises that the death toll is too much and she can't do it alone. So, Rin asks Komachi Onozuka for help, she agrees, and Rin gives her another wheelbarrow and both begin to collect the corpses.
  • Yuyuko Saigyouji finally captures the parrot but soon mocks what she says. Yuyuko becomes deeply offended and runs off crying.
  • Realising even further that there is no consoles or computers to make games on, the theatre production of game design is limited to how to create board games, based on either Shogi, Go, Mahjong, Card games, Chess, and more.
  • Thomas Edison invents the cardboard box. it is hailed as one of the most important inventions in the history of Mankind.
  • There is an elephant on a ship, it has a poo
  • The birds get angry at pigs for eating their eggs. The Angry Bird War starts in the great plains of America


  • The Heavy Metal Box is made in Finland, and is much better than card-board boxes.
  • Yuyuko Saigyouji continues to cry, and soon a new river forms starting from the Aral Sea travelling through the deserts of Kazakhstan, to Uzbekistan, through Afghanistan, to Pakistan and to the ocean. This river is called the Tropical River, because it brought more rain.
  • First World War still continues. Australia is hit by the raging First World War!
  • Alice Margatroid, finally finishing her 500 page essay about Romance languages, goes on for something completely different: reading the so-called Hungarian Phrasebook.
  • Wilhelm II and Yuuka Kazami decide to sit back and relax and watch how the war goes.
  • A tornado ends the Angry Bird War, but begins the House Wars. Soon, Vacuum Cleaners declare war against the tornadoes.
  • The First World War enters the trenches, but people decide to dunk in these trenches, and it eventually turns into a game of bomberman.


  • After hearing the death of Rin Kaenbyou, Komachi Onozuka decides to succeed her, and begins using the wheelbarrow and collect corpses and through them in volcanoes. Unlike Komachi's last job, she does not slack off from this one as this job gets much better pay and she has lots of fun.
  • Utsuho Reiuji mourns over Rin Kaenbyou's death, and is very sad to see her go. Emperor Watatsuki no Toyohime of Toyotomi Japan also mourns, and wishes Rin good luck, to wherever she may be.
  • The First World War continues, and the In betweeners are on the winning side.
  • Wilhelm II and Yuuka Kazami continue watching the war go on. Meanwhile, more flowers start to be seen in Siberian areas.
  • Kim Il Sung graduates from collage five years of age.
  • Satori Komeiji gets very angry after finding out Rin died. Soon to rid of her anger, she goes and adopts Nyan Cat. However Nyan Cat doesn't have a good feeling about this so it continues to fly through space, though Satori still hangs on for as long as she can last.
  • The Tetris Event begins to try to stop Nayn Cat, mostly of trying to obtain a new high score.
  • Yuyuko Saigyouji stops crying. A day later she forgets all about it.
  • A Map of California is shaken by an earthquake. Some towns collapse from it.
  • Meow Mix hits stores worldwide, and quickly becomes the world's most popular cat food brand.


  • Nyan Cat manages to shake off Satori and at the same time dodges the Tetris Event, and it manages to fly away and escape.
  • Satori Komeiji falls for 500 km and falls another 500 km more. She still falls down, and it will take two years, and her expected landing will be somewhere in Kazakhstan.
  • The In betweeners win the First World War.
  • Wilhelm II and Yuuka Kazami celebrates the In betweeners victory with, lots of flowers, and a special issue of Paper Marisa Kirisame: Thousand-Year Wall is made to celebrate their victory.
  • Komachi Onozuka continues collecting the remaining corpses from the war and throws them in Volcanoes, while some are buried in Antarctica.
  • Skandistan begins to build some special stuff for their military.
  • Cirno IV dies after getting drunk and crashing the BMW i135 into a wall. Cirno V becomes the new Leader of Iceland. Utsuho Reiuji stands guard to this new leader to make sure she doesn't do anything bad.
  • A cat arises from the Mantle, and goes to visit Nepal.
  • Other people realize the funnier history map game is still going on, and is no longer defunct

一千十九 (1919)

  • The year is hijacked by Watatsuki no Toyohime and changed to Japanese once again, something not seen since 1855 and 1856.
  • The cat in Nepal turns out to be ... Rin Kaenbyou! Her returned appearance surprises everyone. However, Rin says she originally had 9 lives, just like all the other cats. Anyway, Rin Kaenbyou goes back to collecting corpses with her wheelbarrow.
  • Seeing that Rin returned, Komachi Onozuka goes back to her boring job ... a Cashier.
  • The Land of Venezuela flys into space with Capitan Hugo Chávez in the Venezuelaship Enterprise, but it was only done with non-stop animation so its fake.
  • Meow Zedong takes power in Zhejiang and establishes the People's Republic of Chaitina.
  • Joseph Stalling tries to start his car, but the engine was Stalined, so the car had gone to a repair shop.
  • Lego is made illegal for under 18s after somebody went on a murdering rampage with their Lego creations, before killing themselves.


  • The year is unhijacked and Watatsuki no Toyohime is told off by the TSPTF for changing the year, as it is too implausible.
  • Nadezhda Zhukov is found this year, and was hiding in Australia. However, seeing as she has lost James Watt, she goes back to writing newspapers.
  • Rin Kaenbyou creates Skittles and eats some. five minutes later, she goes on a speed run.
  • Realising that the game was broken after the last action, Kim Il Sung decides to repair the cartage and put it back in the PS Triple. The game continues on. Luckily, during the speed run the progress was saved.
  • Cheats are used to automatically pass the level. The Warp Zone is reached. Rin Kaenbyou chooses to go to year 1922 via Warp Zone.

4557/4617-11-23 to 4558/4618-12-3 (1921)

1921 v2.0

  • A Technician fixes and upgrades the year, making it back to normal 1921.
  • This year is skipped due to Warp Zone.


  • Rin Kaenbyou lands in year 1922, but later goes to a hospital because sickness.
  • Watatsuki no Toyohime uses common knowledge on the police that some countries use different calendars. The year was rightfully correct and valid.
  • The whole game is paused for 34 minutes because Kim Il Sung had to answer a telephone. After the phone call was over, Kim Il Sung unpaused the game and continued playing.
  • Realising that this is all a game, Hatate Himekaidou decides to try to break the fourth wall. It fails. Turns out the programmers were trying to be smart and insert that incident in the game to confuse players even more.
  • Prime Minister Koishi Komeiji builds up Toyotomi Japan's economy.
  • A tornado strikes New Zealand, killing dozens..
  • Satori Komeiji finally lands in Zhezkazgan, Kazakhstan but becomes unconscious. The scientists were way off by their estimate, as Satori Komeiji took four years to fall down.
  • The power of science becomes powerful.
  • E = mc2 is founded by Margareta Capsia XI.
  • Satori Komeiji is taken to a hospital nine days later. Apparently the scientists were in an argument with each other and their estimates and other stuff that they got carried away.


  • The Finnish Woman's Ice Hockey Team is established. Finland becomes the Champion's Ice Republic of Finland and beats Russians at Ice Hockey.
  • Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to send some StarCraft (built from reused aeroplanes) to chase Ho-Oh. Osaka is rebuilt, but with more umbrellas.
  • Rin Kaenbyou feels fine again and goes back to collecting dead corpses and throws them in volcanoes again, because it's always been her job and favourite hobby.
  • The Ottoman Empire finally dissolves due to Syrians, Iraqis and Turks getting into a fight over a dinner plate.
  • Leon Marx of Skandistan launches a Hammer-Sickle missile to Syria, thus establishing Syrianstan.
  • A page deadicated to an North Korea is made on Reddit. Kim Il Sung is impressed and gives karma to everyone.


  • Anonymous hacks this account on Youtube, in which the owner of the account gets super-ultra-hyper-duper-angry. The owner of the account's first words after hacking his account, are this: "U U F**KIN DIRTY CRAZY CANNIBAL BARBARIAN F*CK U F*CK U F*CK U!!!!!!!!!1 UR MOM EATS A D*** U DIRTY ANTIGREEK PROPAGANDIST EVIL. DIRTY A**LBARKAAABABABABABAIAN B**** U MENACE."
  • Minecraft is discovered in Italy. The Italians being crafting buildings.
  • Nadezhda Zhukov is happy to hear about nuclear powered cameras, and decides to invest in Kodak.
  • Nine out of ten doctors agree that mushrooms can be dangerous.
  • Rin Kaenbyou accidentally digs up some treasure from a volcano. However, she realises it's all fake, but decides to take it anyway.

융희18 (1925)

  • 2NE1 makes an appearance and changes the year into the Korean calendar. Current era in Korea is: Yunghui. Current Empress in Korea is: Empress Sunjeong.
  • Syrianstan collapses due to the sickle bleeding it to death.
  • Watatsuki no Toyohime decides to launch the Korean Wave, in support of Korea. She also is forced to step down, because she ruled for 47 years instead of the 45 years she said back in 1878. Koishi Komeiji takes the role of Empress of Toyotomi Japan, while Watatsuki no Yorihime becomes Prime Minister. Watatsuki no Toyohime is in a forced vacation to Korea, and won't be back until 1949.
  • Skandistan weakens due to the Korean Wave.
  • Utsuho Reiuji decides to end the Cold War by blowing up Skandistan with the Nuclear Sun. Norway and Sweden are wiped out and no longer exist. Little Denmark was too small and thus survived.
  • A second later, the 덴마크의 공화국 (Republic of Denmakeu) is founded, and Denmark becomes mixed Danish and Korean.
  • Rin Kaenbyou gets distracted by the Korean Wave, and begins to sing in Korean. She still collects corpses and throws it into volcanoes, though, while she is singing in Korean.
  • A mega Korean town is founded in Portugal, and soon Portuguese language becomes written in Hangul.
  • Bob Saget was hit by a blimp, and is in critical condition. The USA now demands all people to buy one season of Full House and a bobsled.
  • Florida is renamed New Korea. Georgia (the state) is renamed New Manchuria. Construction begins on the "Seoul Train," which will regularly transport passengers from Korea to New Korea while playing funk music 24/7.
  • A saxophone player plays a saxophone without a neckstrap, which is unsafe sax, causing all these stupid Japanese/Korean watasuka no tatertot things (they aren't even funny) to die.
  • A Swedish IKEA Scientists proceeds to censor some things, after hearing that IKEA lost sales again. He also adjusts the Japanese/Korean things above into Iraqi/Egyptian things. Egypt and Iraq no longer exist, after being conquered by the Saudi Arabian Knights.


Helsinki vartioharju

The name Summit is fitting, for it's towering challenge.

  • The Suomen Jääkiekkoliitto (Finnish Ice Hockey Association) destroys all saxophones and saxophone players, and also destroys all neckstraps as they can cause choking. Soon the Finnish Ice Hockey Championship Song, Poju - Poika Saunoo, plays non-stop around the world for the next two years.
  • The Korean Wave still leaves an impact on the world, though the Finns are catching up with the Vikings in third place, and not too far behind is a Tornado that travels at 300kph.
  • Saxophone is reinvented, but called the Fax Phone. It can send and play only popular music, like Rick Astley, Eduard Khil's I Am Glad, 'Cause I'm Finally Returning Back Home, Dragostea Din Tei (by O Zone), Balla Da Li (by Boom Box feat. Linda O), and Poju - Poika Saunoo.
  • Timo Soini manages to unite all of Europe and declare the Greater Republic of Finland, after all the other sports teams in Europe crumble because of losing so many games.
  • Rin Kaenbyou becomes a member of the True Finns political party after applying for Finnish citizenship. She changes her last name to Kōribyou (Ice Cat). She then proceeds to throw corpses against an Ice Breaker.
  • The Summit race track appears in Slovakia. It soon later appears in Need for Speed 3, which is also made in Slovakia.
  • Toyotomi Japan is renamed into the Republic of Japan, thus ending the legacy of Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and thus beginning support for IKEA.
  • Mexico begins to have a military buildup to protect Canada's own Ice Hockey heritage.
  • Unsafe Sax, (or unsafe "Fax" as it were, since all saxes were destroyed) begins to happen often on the Seoul Train. Unsafe Fax on the Seoul train is three times as dangerous as unsafe Sax prior to the destruction of all saxophones, due to more moving parts, and the high velocity of the train.
  • Charlie Parker somehow. survives the destruction of saxophone players, and knocks the teeth out of all of The people in the Suomen Jääkiekkoliitto (Finnish Ice Hockey Association). little did he know that in the entire Suomen Jääkiekkoliitto (Finnish Ice Hockey Association) there were only three teeth.
  • Bill Clinton escapes from saxophonic destruction by using The Force. He conquers Japan in one fell swoop (meaning that he was in a fell swoop when he did it) and renames it the Empire of Japan, which adopts the Montreal Canadiens, changing them to the Kyoto Nipponiens. The Japanese official drink is ice, which freezes the whole country, so Bill Clinton's sub-Emperor begins to promote global warming, but instead of melting the ice, all of the Empire disappears. However Napoleon XX12 comes back and builds a new Japan with a welder and welding mask.
  • Robert F. Kennedy -III (negative 3) conquers the Imperial Empire of Cheese, located in Michigan, however his dictatorship is overthrown by an Israeli Jew named Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan. SSSS conquers Max Jovania, which doesn't exist. This was proved to him after Han Solo insisted that he was having a delusion of grandeur.


  • President Watatsuki no Yorihime of Japan is horrified at what happened to Japan and kicks everyone out of there. She uses her sword and soon, all islands in the Pacific become surrounded by spikes (which are all just sharp knife-like objects). She also surrounds Japan with it, and thus any new people who try to go there will be sliced into pieces and be eaten by Pi which will result in the circumference of a Trapezoid.
  • Rin Kōribyou tries to place Ice Hockey in the Atlantic but causes a huge earthquake that divides and sinks the Azores Islands. The President of Portugal says "Nós governou essas ilhas por muitos anos, até que você atirou uma flecha para o nosso joelho." (British: We ruled over those islands for many years, until you threw an arrow to our knee.), but then proceeds to die to due a Missile Arrow being shot to his knee by Zombie Franz Ferdinand.
  • Yukkuri Reimu and Yukkuri Marisa are invented by Mad Scientist Alberto Liechtenstein. The new inventions proceed to invade Germany, and cause major disruption due to their face. Some 100 dogs die from a disease that was caused by Bio-Diesel (what the Yukkuri Reimu/Marisa are made from).
  • Kazakhstan is labelled by the Guinness World Records for being the Greatest Country In The World. Meanwhile, Satori Komeiji, who had stayed in Kazakhstan for too long, has her name Russification into Сатори Комейдзи. Сатори Комейдзи becomes Russian, speaks Ukrainian, and converts to Buddhism.
  • Orthodox religion is changed so that it's all about Vodka and Matryoshka dolls.
  • Charlie Parker forgot to park his car correctly and has crashed into another car. His car insurance refuses to intervene. It is revealed that anyone with a last name of Parker will never park their cars correctly.
  • A snake thinks it is a turtle and tries to return back to the ocean. But it drowns after its shell weighs it down.
  • Ḧëäv̈ÿ M̈ëẗäl Üm̈läüẗs̈ ärë ïnv̈ënẗëd.
  • Charlie Parker, needing money to pay for insurance, and wishing to hear unsafe Fax, decides to get a job parking the Seoul Train. It becomes one of the worst disasters in history.
  • Mr. T comes back in time so he can own all of the Gold in the world. If anyone protests, he begins to shoot at them with a submachine gun. in the end, due to poor accuracy, Mr.T ends up only shooting the ground in front of people.
  • Canada renames Submachine guns to Submarine guns, as they shoot bullets similarly looking like submarines, but not machines.
  • Tired of being pushed around, the trash cans of the world rise up!


  • The trash can rebellion is defeated after all of the trash cans are put in a huge garbage truck and dumped in landfill or recycled.
  • The Ant circus achieves worldwide success but eventually freezes to death during their winter tour in Europe.
  • The Korean Wave dies down after dissipating in Iceland. Soon, Typhoon LMB forms off in the Pacific Ocean.
  • Rin Kōribyou moves to Iceland, and renamed it Diceland. It becomes the capital of all the casinos in town, all proudly imported from Macau.
  • The first Ronald McDonald statue is built in Washington,DC.
  • Republic of Japan becomes dominated by IKEAs and Nokia. This would make Shizuha Aki angry and cause their fallen leaves to leave temporary. All trees with leaves decide to leave as a result.
  • In his attempt to get gold, Mr. T becomes CEO of McDonalds. Ronald McDonald is renamed Ronald McFoo.
  • After this new subreddit opens, most of the people realise they are going to go to hell. Then they are reminded if they change their religion then they might not go to hell, but people begin to get confused about which religion to pick and which one is actually telling the truth.


  • People continue to "debate" about which religion is telling the truth, and a few people get killed along the way.
  • A koala falls off a tree into a river after a human child makes him jump. Then after finally swimming to the shore, he declares war on humankind in a ferocious rage after getting wet.
  • Hitler's art career fails so he starts a line of fried chicken.
  • Break dancing becomes popular in Russia
  • A ventriloquist and his dummy get arrested in Detroit.
  • Rin Kōribyou continues to collect the corpses and freezes them. She sells the dead corpses to any cannibals who think about eating the dead corpses.
  • Сатори Комейдзи tries to talk to her Japanese friends, but is denied because she's only talking in Ukrainian. Сатори Комейдзи goes back to the Ukraine and invents a new genre of music, Metal Techno.
  • Typhoon Lee Myung Bak makes landfall in the Cat's Republic of China. Chaircat Meow Zedong condemns the typhoon and moves the capital of China to Omsk, Russia.
  • Heliciculture becomes France's main source of income after the country nearly goes bankrupt.
  • The Italian peninsula breaks off and goes around kicking stuff.
  • Chuck Norris comes back to life and melts the ice caps.
  • Messi (you all know him) engages in a football match with Italy but the Pope has to poop so the Vat I Can Do For You becomes friends with Hitler by making his own fried chicken, but it turns out to be real live turkeys and not chickens, so Turkey changes its name to Notaturkey.
  • Republic of Wadiya declares its independence. Aladeen is born.
  • A cat is elected Major in Talkeetna, Alaska after voters didn't like the other candidates.
  • Mr. T attacks several HFC (Hitler's Fried Chicken) restaurants to eliminate competition. Open war begins between the two food chains. Mr. T releases a public statement saying "I PITY THE CHICKEN!!!!" Hitler responds by saying "Er kann küsse meine 11 Kräutern und Gewürzen."


  • Phil Knight makes a giant boot and he uses it to replace the land which used to make up the Italian peninsula.
  • Typhoon Lee Myung Bak soon manages to win the Typhoon election, and continues to attack China.
  • Rin Kōribyou manages to make Diceland the home of casinos, thanks to Macau. However, she herself, becomes broke, so Rin Kōribyou goes back to collecting the corpses and selling them to cannibals.
  • Сатори Комейдзи manages to de-Russify her name - back into Satori Komeiji, but not before her name becomes rendered as 코메이지 사토리, and she becomes completely Korean, but speaks both Ukrainian and Korean.
  • Bombay manages to produce the most bombs in the world, but they are used for dancing.
  • Chuck Norris comes back to life (again) and pimp slaps Hitler and Mr T. He then forms the Norris Chicken-Beef Corporation and buys out their restaurants.
  • Napoleon Bonaparte is resurrected along with Abraham Lincoln, Ghengis Khan, Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar. The five of them make the Super Alliance, with Napoleon being the leader. They personally conquer some area in Tibet.
  • A giant wormhole opens up above all of Asia. Then Nepal from the no nukes map game comes through it and hits its OTL location, destroying anything that used to be there. It is also confirmed that this is real. Also, the wormhole can't close or leave our solar system as it is there permanently. Also, Nepal can't leave, either.
  • America turns into a giant robot after it is revealed that America was a massive plot created by the Japanese government, and America then annexes Canada, but due to it being America it doesn't know where Canada is.
  • Every city with a name resembling the word "Nuke" gets nuked, including Nuuk, Nukus and Nuku. The only exception is Nuku'alofa, where a nuke hit a bread factory, but nothing else. 


  • Vince goes on a quest to discover who put loaves of bread in the toilet.
  • Derp herped himself in the derp.
  • 코메이지 사토리 manages to de-Korea-fy her name back into Satori Komeiji, though she can still speak Ukrainian and Korean, along with Japanese. Unfortunately by Touhou Twenty-six, she becomes Yukari Yakumo's second shikigami.
  • Brazil, with help of IKEAn technology, manages to conquer all lands below them. Buenos Aires manages to survive and thus the Empire City of Buenos Aires is established.
  • Lenin dies in Sydney after stepping on a turtle. Joseph Stalin becomes Supreme Leader of USSR (based in Australia). The USSR expands to include New Zealand and much of the tiny islands in the Pacific Ocean with a paper clip.
  • All the Muslims and Christians of the world decide to revert back to Judaism after they realize it's just an off-shoot of the original Jewish faith. However, Jesus and Muhammad come back and they prove the recently converted Muslims and Christians wrong so they all convert back. This is forgotten as people seek to forget this episode ever happened and people beg for forgiveness from God.


  • The current Leader dies as most people forgot his name. Iceland gets turned into a Republic, and Sveinn Björnsson becomes the first President of Iceland.
  • Macedonia annexes Greece as they are sick of the naming dispute.
  • George W. Bush is born early, and is shot immediately after by Time Police. He manages to die, but then comes back to life as a baby Zombie.
  • Death of a kangaroo causes a major dispute between New Zealand and Australia whether the kangaroos should become either country's national symbol if either country's president dies.

Justin Beiber takes over Canada. Everyone in Canada dies from Beiber Fever. Yo Momma's ass takes over Namibia. Elmo kills Bismark.


  • In a unanimous and mandatory referendum, the government of Albania declares Robbie Rotten as the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind.
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