See also:List of Althists
A Peoples’ History of the Third Great Patriotic War
Of the more than two hundred republics or so in the world today, one can count on a single hand the nations that do not at least claim to be communist. Even the few nations of the world that do not consider themselves communist have definite socialist economic tendencies. Even the "pope" agrees that the teachings of his god, Jesus Christ are in harmony with communist doctrine. One would have thought that in a world in which all nations can agree on the ideals of Marx that the problems of the past would be no more. Who could have imagined that despite world socialism we are engaged in a struggle just as dangerous as our struggles against Napoleon, Hitler and Reagan? Tragically the end of the so-called third patriotic war or Cold War has not ended diplomacy.
It is said that history is written by the victor. So you can imagine my difficulty in composing a short history on the Third Great Patriotic War. I wish the reader to know that I’m neither a professional historian nor a professional writer. I’m simply a citizen who wishes to help his comrades better understand our current engagements in Libya and Iran as well as the general situation throughout the near east. In these dangerous times it may trouble the reader to know that this work has not yet been approved by the People’s Bureau. I have done my best to see to it that this work is in no way a slander of our government, or our motherland, but if the readers finds it to be, please be informed that it was no intention of mine and that I would happily bear any punishment the Soviet government sees fit for such a crime. As the purpose of this paper is history and not narrative, I feel that the story should begin not on June 22nd 2001 but in 1979. It was in 1979 that American forces invaded Soviet Arabia. The circumstances involving the brutal American invasion of Soviet Arabia are long and complicated but for the purposes of this paper they begin with the assassination of John F Kennedy. Following the assassination of Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson attempted to uphold what he considered his legacy both at home and abroad. At this point in time the Americans still claimed to be on the side of democracy. And so Lyndon Johnson allowed the UN to supervise democratic elections in Vietnam. Naturally when the people were given a free choice, the poor man’s vote equal to that of a rich man, our communist allies were able to sweep the elections. Naturally this was a great humiliation to the United States, which had up to this point claimed to represent the principles of democracy. The triumph of democratic communism quickly spread throughout South East Asia and the entire third world appear to be ripe for democratic revolution. However, the 1968 “elections” in the United States brought the brutal reactionary Barry Goldwater to power. President Goldwater immediately strengthened the dictatorships throughout the third world. He crushed any hint of reform both at home and abroad and set back the civil rights legislation of the 1960s. The firmness of tyranny always leads to revolution however. In 1979 communist freedom fighters inspired by Qadhafi overthrew the United States backed regime in Saudi Arabia. Goldwater’s successor Ronald Reagan sent forces into Soviet Arabia to restore the monarchy. Qadhafi organized freedom fighters from around the world to fight in Soviet Arabia. The ideals stated in his Green Book a mixture of Arab nationalism, Islamic radicalism and a whole lot of ideals against every fiber of the Communist Manifesto. But the United States was the enemy and the KGB managed to aid Qadhafi in supplying the Mujahedeen in Soviet Arabia. In 1984 Jimmy Carter was “elected” the new president of the United States. The United States was in crisis. The capitalist economy was no longer able to sustain basic needs, racial war was wage in both the segregated southern and the decaying urban north, in Latin America and the Near East; American forces waged a losing war against the forces of progress. It was time for change. Jimmy Carter attempted to introduce moderate reforms. However, the capitalist system was at this point so weak that even slightest reforms created immense disorder. The fact of the matter was that capitalism - an economic system that valued humanity so little and profit so much - could not endure among human beings. In 1991 the Confederate Soviet Republics of America seceded from the union. The southerners hoped that the soviet system of homelands would solve their rampant racial problems. Jimmy Carter took no military action to suppress the disunion and within days the Peoples Republic of Texas, and the United Communes of California joined in succession. For all purposes the Second Great patriotic war was over.
With the Cold War over, the Soviet Union and her Warsaw pact allies turned away from international affairs and instead attempted to enjoy the fruits of her victory. The Soviet economy boasted the largest GDP in the world. The unified Democratic Republic of Germany had a higher standard of living, and the People’s Republic of China had a larger growth rate, but no one doubted that the Soviet economy was now at the center of the world. Optimists predicted that we were on the verge of entering the final stage of the Marxist revolution in which the governments of the world withered away. Some military analysis’s were fearful of China’s growth and predicted an eventual war, but no one took those warnings seriously. There was some trouble in the Near East over the Soviet recognition of the Soviet Kibbutzes of Israel by the Arab states, but that threat was also not taken too seriously. In nations like Soviet Arabia, we were simply glad the Americans were gone and did not give a damn what happened after. The entire near east provided breeding ground for Quadhafi’s ideology.
Quadhafi had once been one of the greatest allies of the Soviet Union but he had grown increasingly radical and alienated. He began to believe that he had destroyed one superpower and could destroy another. In 1991 the US armed Kingdom of Iran had invaded and occupied Iraq. The United Nations had condemned this aggression and called for the return of Saddam Hussein. The United States did not veto this condemnation of its former ally as it was in the midst of revolution. An international coalition of the Soviet Union, Warsaw Pact nations, the People’s Republic of China, Afghanistan and several small Gulf States had gathered in Soviet Arabia. Quadhafi condemned the stationing of infidels on the holiest cities of Islam. The liberation of Iraq was a complete success, however, and the revolution was restored in Baghdad and the reactionary monarchy of the Shah driven out. There were some who argued for a pursuit into Iran to remove the Shah but cooler heads prevailed and so ended Operation Red Fist, one of the finest Soviet military campaigns in our proud history.
The 1990s saw Quadhafi act on his ideology. Several small terrorist attacks on soviet interests occurred throughout the world. In 1994 warlords controlled by Quadhafi attacked Soviet military installations in Ethiopia. In 1999 the Soviet submarine “Kursk” was sunk off the coast of Yemen. The Cold War was over though, and no one was anxious for military commitment and so the threat was largely ignored. The KGB performed brilliantly in their intelligence gathering and thus should not be blamed for the acts of counterrevolutionary fanatics. The entire Soviet establishment acted with courage and honor during the 1990s. The counterrevolutionaries who suggest that more aggressive Soviet action should have been taken are the same who advocated capitalist indulgence during that time period.
On June 22nd 2001 the unthinkable happened. For the first time since 1941 the Soviet homeland was attacked. A series of bombings throughout Moscow destroyed much of the city and resulted in thousands of innocent civilians perishing. The Soviet people, however, rather than cower in the face of terror, reacted with the same courage they did in the face of Napoleon and Hitler. The next day in cites across the nation the all was red. On every street both sides would be lined with red flags. Red for the revolution. Red for human blood that made all men equals. Red for the blood of our fallen and red for the blood we would demand of those who committed such acts. The Soviet premier promised retribution against Libya. Within days the KGB was in southern Libya aiding the southern alliance in their attempts to overthrow the oppressive Quadhafi regime. The world community joined together in condemning terrorism. Several weeks later Soviet amphibious forces landed near Tripoli and seized the Libyan capital. The Quadhafi regime rapidly collapsed by Quadhafi himself was yet to be found.
A year after the attack, war still continued in Libya. Premier Kustov in his speech before the Politburo called for action against the Anti-Comintern Pact of Evil, the nations of South Korea, Pakistan, and Iran. He also asked that the Motherland Amendment be passed. The Motherland Amendment altered the Soviet constitution to take away civil privileges, which were meant for peacetime. Ironically one of the first arrested under the Motherland Amendment was Krush Kringaugh the radio host for calling the Motherland Amendment to lenient and ineffective. The provisions also limited religious privileges especially in the southern Muslim regions that bordered Turkey, Iran and Afghanistan. In late October of that year the Soviet Third Army was posted along the southern border to prevent illegal immigration from the Muslim states. With the deaths of so many civilians it could be considered natural for any state to restrict privileges. One must keep in mind that no actual rights were restricted.
In 2002 Premier Kustov began pressuring the United Nations to authorize regime change in Iran. Kustov claimed that Iran had supplied Libya with weapons that were used against Soviet forces in Libya. China, however, led the world against the Soviet Union. The Chinese condemned the regime change as Soviet imperialism. There had been tensions with China during the Cold War but nothing as serious as this. Many in the Soviet Union called for the boycott of the Chinese products, which had done so much damage to the Soviet economy. Foreign minister Bargation attended the United Nations council meeting and presented evidence that Iran had supplied Libya with weapons. The assembly, however, led by the Chinese voted only to authorize an investigation and ordered no further action. Even Japan, one of the last nations on the earth that still claims to be capitalist, was limited in its opposition to the war. Relations between the Soviet Union and Japan had been strained since the 1989 Tokyo massacre of communist demonstrators. Tensions cooled, however, as both Japan and the Soviet Union found advantage in trade, and in addition many institutions of the Japanese economy are quite socialist. Japan was also a necessary part for the Five Party talks in limiting nuclear arms in South Korea. But I digress. The idea that the former United States and Japan, our two former enemies remained relatively neutral during the pre-war period, and that China, our supposed ally, was so vocal in their opposition enraged much of the country. In March of 2003, the Kremlin called for exporting the Revolution to Iran. Premier Kustov declared that communist nations that did not support the invasion were “deviant” from the true socialist path. The Peoples Republic of China announced that the communist nation had betrayed the ideals of Marx and was guilty of violating the same international laws the United States had. Chairmen Hu Jiangtao announced, “the Soviet Union has shown the same disregard for the rights of small nations that the capitalist nations uncovered in the past. Deciding that the United Nations resolution of the previous year was reason enough for invasion, the Soviet Union began a buildup along its border with Iran. Neither Afghanistan nor Iraq agreed to allow the USSR to use their territory as a launching ground for invasion. Soviet forces were forced to launch their invasion from the mountain northern regions. However, using the new theory of “deep battle” Soviet armored columns were able to rapidly advance on Tehran and end the war. Critics of the Soviet Union labeled “deep battle” a new blitzkrieg. However, despite the relative ease in removing the Shah from power, Soviet forces were now face with rebels backed by Libya.
Having told the story of so many acts of Soviet heroism, it is a shame that we must close with a tale of madness. The story of the war on terror is very much the story of Agent Zhukov. Agent Zhukov had been posted in Moscow during the June 22nd bombings and had helped organize the resistance in Libya and arm the southern alliance. His daring desert tactics drew comparisons with Lawrence of Arabia, and Rommel. However, he began to lose favor in the Soviet government with his investigations of the June 22nd bombing. He journeyed to the former United States of America ostensibly to investigate the problem of mail order American brides, but in fact to investigate the possibility of the arms having come from the unstable republics. However, his investigation went against the official policy of investigating Iran. He claimed that his investigations led him to the pro-Soviet regime in the Congo. According to Agent Zhukov’s report several of the weapons used in Libya were Soviet in design. He assumed that the weapons had been captured by rebels and went to Congo to investigate. It is during the upriver journey up the Congo River that it is believed he went mad. In his madness he assassinated Colonel Yusof the Soviet commander in the Congo. The body of Colonel Yusof was never found as his ship exploded mid-river. Agent Zhukov had had the opportunity to murder the Colonel earlier but had insisted on arresting him according to KGB protocol Article VII - t567x. He claimed that Colonel Yusof had supplied the Libyans with weapons and was behind the June 22nd attacks. He claimed that the natives worshiped Colonel Yusof as a God. Naturally for such ridicules slander, threatening Soviet interests in the Congo, and for assassination, Agent Zhukov should surely have been arrested. However, Agent Zhukov escaped into the depths of the Congo jungle. His last claims were that Colonel Yusof was none other than Alexander I, Tsar of all Russians, who had been kept alive by the Lazarus pit. While some believe that Agent Zhukov continued in his plan to guard the Lazarus pit against the return of Colonel Yusof, it is more rational a story that he perished in the tropical jungles. In the madness of Agent Zhukov we can see the true madness of all who criticize he Soviet regime and its actions. When one scratches beneath the surface of political opposition one finds a mental disorder, one finds insanity.