Alternative History
No edit summary
Line 79: Line 79:
   
 
"What's the difference between a mutant and a Woodbridger? A mutant has an extra arm, a Woodbridger has an extra head."
 
"What's the difference between a mutant and a Woodbridger? A mutant has an extra arm, a Woodbridger has an extra head."
===Anti-Celtic Alliance===
+
Europe (Chaos)]]nti-Celtic Alliance===
 
These are basically updated versions of the pre-Doomsday "Irish" jokes which traded on the stereotypes of the Irish people being stupid
 
These are basically updated versions of the pre-Doomsday "Irish" jokes which traded on the stereotypes of the Irish people being stupid
  +
  +
  +
the participants were lining up for the Europa games each when a event was mentioned each person shouted out his name and nation IE Hans Prussia and so on so it got to relay and this person shouted Paddy Celtic alliance so the organized said can you relay the running track
  +
 
===Anti-True British Army===
 
===Anti-True British Army===
 
Q. How many members of the True British Army does it take to light a fire??
 
Q. How many members of the True British Army does it take to light a fire??

Revision as of 15:45, 5 October 2010

In most cultures, humor (or humour) was vastly affected by Doomsday and its aftermath. Many people have turned to jokes and humour as a way of relieving tension.

This page hopes to documents all types of humour and jokes that have become popular in the time since Doomsday.

Doomsday jokes

Cannibalism

(Immediately after Doomsday cannibalism was common.)

Two cannibals were deciding what to eat. Cannibal #1 says 'What do you want?', so cannibal #2 says 'Can we have a Chinese?'. A few minutes later they were tucking in; cannibal #1 says 'this doesn't taste like a Chinese'; cannibal #2 says 'I couldn't find any Chinese'.


Although not an actual joke, joking references to cannibalism have found their way into everyday slang in many places, generally in reference to meat products of dubious quality, e.g. kiddie pies, baby burgers, baby on a stick, ect. There are also occasional comments by people presented with dubious looking pies, stews, ect, to the effect of 'oh, so that's what's happened to (insert name of someone who's missing) ' although this is generally considered rather crass.

Radiation

A joke that has done the rounds across the former UK usually with the neighbouring towns name added in:

In the small town of .....(add town name here).....

A young boy asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1983 there was a nuclear war?"

"Yes, there was son." — answered the Grandpa and patted his grandson on the top of his head.

"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?" asked the boy

"Yes, absolutely" — answered the Grandpa and patted his grandson's second head. (Often added "And they strolled off together, wagging their tails").

Another one is:

how many (insert name of town/country here) does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: None, they simply hold the bulb and it glows on its own!

A rather more tasteless (not to mention groan worthy) one:

"I went to a party in (insert name of nuked town here); it was a blast."

Anti-nation jokes

Pre-Doomsday nations

Anti-New British

Among the nations that have cropped up in the former United Kingdom there is a feeling that the people who went to South Africa and formed the nation of New Britain were cowards and numerous jokes have been made on this topic. For example:

King Andrew has announced that New Britain will be changing it's National Anthem. The new Anthem will be the Del Shannon tune "Runaway"

And:

Q: Why don't they use fireworks in New Britain anymore?

A: Because every time there's a display everyone runs to the docks.

During the New Britain vs Cleveland game at the 2010 World Cup, the Cleveland supporters (a mixture of mainly Cleveish and Lancastrian individuals along with people from other British survivor states) indulged in the tradition of mocking the opposing side, on this occasion taking their inspiration from Monty Python:

Brave New Britain ran away.

Bravely ran away away.

When danger reared it's ugly head,

They bravely turned their tails and fled.

Yes, brave New Britain turned about

And gallantly they chickened out.

Bravely taking to their feet,


They beat a very brave retreat.

Bravest of the braaaave, New Britain!


Many jokes formerly applied to the French by the British (generally in the vein of 'surrender monkeys') have been changed to fit the New British.

Anti-Woodbridge

Many jokes have resulted from the growing perception of inbreeding amongst the Woodbridge population. For example:

"What's the difference between a mutant and a Woodbridger? A mutant has an extra arm, a Woodbridger has an extra head." Europe (Chaos)]]nti-Celtic Alliance=== These are basically updated versions of the pre-Doomsday "Irish" jokes which traded on the stereotypes of the Irish people being stupid


the participants were lining up for the Europa games each when a event was mentioned each person shouted out his name and nation IE Hans Prussia and so on so it got to relay and this person shouted Paddy Celtic alliance so the organized said can you relay the running track

Anti-True British Army

Q. How many members of the True British Army does it take to light a fire??

A. None, they don't need to light any fires where they're going!!

Lawrence Raider jokes

{Ghoul is a conman name for a Mutant}

Q What's the difference between a Feral Ghoul and a Lawrence Raider

A None; you don't want to know either one

Anti Sicily

the first lady asked the leader whata you wanta for tea so the leader replies I wanta Pizza so his wife says whata kinda pizza do you wanta so the leader replies I wanta pizza Mediterranean


Anti Prussia

Q why does king Christian wear red and white braces

A to keep his red and white trousers up!!

Doomsday-related media

Cartoons and comics